Saturday, October 30, 2010


"Oh, I'm sorry WALL, I didn't see you there - obviously - or I would have slowed down before I hit you."

That's kind of how my workout went today.

I was trucking right along in my muscle work and then... oopsie. I started my cardio and got through 20 minutes and literally could not do it. I ran out of steam due to maybe not drinking enough vile juices yesterday. So, for the first time, I had to stop my cardio -20 minutes into it -and go downstairs and drink another serving of what ever culinary delight was next on the menu.

I waited about twenty minutes for my blood sugar to recover and then went and finished 40 more minutes of cardio.
Oh, and did I mention that I finished my cardio at 8:30 at night?? I shouldn't wait till evening -it's always more difficult for me then- I know better than to do that.
I briefly considered jumping off my roof in the hopes of aquiering a severely mangled ankle.  I  thought I could post a photo of me on crutches to accompany my explanation of not finishing my cardio and maybe gain some crowd sympathy.
"See, I would have finished my cardio, but I COULDN'T because my ankle is severely mangled."
Problem was - my ankle was just fine.

I can now say, without hesitation that tonight was BY FAR the hardest it has ever been to do the cardio. The muscle work was the normal level of grueling, but I just had no energy what so ever to get through the cardio.
I am guessing that my "out of gas" prognosis was spot on because after I drank another juice I rocked the rest of the cardio and pushed myself really hard...especially since I was in a little bit of a shame spiral over taking a forbidden break.

I rationalized the break with several things...

1. I felt as though tripping and falling due to my feet not working, or passing out seemed like improper form and quasi dangerous - hate to injure myself this late in the game.
2. I felt as though getting 40 minutes straight -and with gusto- would make up for stopping to get fuel. Especially because the first portion of muscle work and 20 minutes of cardio took 2 hours and 20 minutes. good grief.
3. Because I looked down and my give a shit meter was not working - so it was an easy call to make.

I guess sometimes you have to just make the call between what Tracy tells you and what your body tells you. My body was the only one there tonight - so I listened to it. Sorry Tracy...but I felt even you would have agreed with me on this one. Plus I got every last freaking minute of my cardio in...and it was the workout equivilant of Kale juice tonight.
Yesterday - it was a breeze, today a killer. I guess you never know.

MY weight is still at 128...but it ALMOST went to 127...EEEEEKKKKKK! hopefully tomorrow - I am not counting half pounds... I can only report it when it is a solid pound lost.

I am realizing that I am not more hungry during the cleanse - just hating about half of the drinks.
But I do love a couple of them - so I'll just choke them down and deal with it.

(male readers: spoiler alert... you may not like what I'm about to say, because it's just not a very pretty topic, so feel free to skip down a paragraph)
I do have one more complaint....
MY KINGDOM FOR A HEARTY BM!!!!!! I would give my kingdom. My kingdom and all the gold in it for a good POOP. I gotta tell ya - I was trucking along with all sorts of delightful regularity and then (insert sound effect of needle scratching across record) - it all came to a halt.
Is anyone else having this problem? Is it because of the cleanse? or is it because of no Kefir???

Maybe I was so dreading the cleanse that I was "scared shit-less".
oh well, shit happens...or in this case... doesn't.
ok- no more poop jokes.

(male readers - you may unplug your ears now and re-join the conversation)

After such unpleasant topics of conversation - I would like to report on some more positive news...

I am watching my skin actually start to get less saggy and old man-ish!!!! I can see more and more muscle - and in places I've never even seen muscle on me!!!!
I believe that if I continue the hard work (even past the thirty days) that I will actually be able to have a body I never thought I would be able to have.
Wow. that's hard for me to even process.

I might actually - one day - with some more hard work...wait for it... like the way I look in a bathing suit..!!!???? Did I just say that?
 Is that even a possibility? I am beginning to think that for the first time in my entire life it might be a possibility.

You would be shocked at how far I can go on a mustard seed of hope.

You know - my goal has always been to try and look good in a bathing suit. Notice I did not say "to look good naked."
Why... because let's face it - it's much more difficult to look good in a bathing suit than it is to look good naked.
If you are naked you are typically one of two yourself, or with a happy man ... if it is the latter, the man is so damn happy he is with you- and so happy you are naked- that he is not at all concerned with minor flaws in your body. He's just happy about the lack of clothing and probably focused on your bits and pieces and hoping it's a good time to play with your jungle kitty.
Just sayin'.

But in a bathing suit- you are more likely to be in a group of people, in public, and (gulp) walking around.
 WAY MORE TRICKY to look good doing that, if you ask me!

Moving on...
So many of you have been kind enough to ask me to keep blogging after the thirty days and after giving it some thought, here's what I have decided...

 I think I can officially say that I am enjoying talking about myself far too much to not keep blogging after the thirty days are up!!!!!

There will be follow up Tracy workouts and trial and error methods of employing her food plans to talk about.
There will be continued battles with Farmer Celly and inner fat girls - although they are very quiet these days!!
Then there are all the other antics I seem to always get myself into - which I haven't really even touched on during the past month- but trust me- I'm always into something. One thing is for sure, I am rarely bored or boring..and since my edit button has been broken since birth- I am kind of like the female version of Simon from American Idol...I usually say what others only think.
I should probably take more opportunities to go to - but where's the fun in that?

So- maybe not daily blogging - but for sure I'll keep you guys in the loop as to what is going on and hopefully help cheer those of you on that are beginning your journey, or simply maintaining your results after a successful boot camp!

What do ya think? you guys willing to keep following me and my ramblings a little while longer?
Who knows what we can stir up!!!!

Back to the thirty day journey...
I was thinking today about how important it has been for me to do this to perfection.
and although I've touched on this before - I felt it was worth bringing it back up again.

The reason I HAD to do this BY THE BOOK (besides the fact that for me - that was part of the challenge) was because I did not feel I could get through it if I ever "broke the seal".
That is what my friend and trainer Joel calls it - and I love that!!!
Once you "break the seal" it becomes easier and easier to make little exceptions and excuses, rationalizations and alterations to the plan.
I was too afraid that if I ever "broke the seal"- even once - I would be in trouble!!!

So the daily mantra I repeated when I wanted to cut corners, shorten cardio, take a little bite of this or that, skip a meal, add a meal, have a drink or just not perform to my highest and best ability was ...
"Don't break the seal".

Another version of the same thought - and a mantra I have used for years to combat my bitchy inner  fat girl, my stinky inner chain smoker, and all other addictive personalities that lurk in the dark recesses of my self- is this one...

"If I don't start, then I don't have a problem."

Simple as it may be - it's a powerful thought.
If I don't have one cigarette, then I won't have two. If I don't have two then I couldn't possibly have a third which can lead to me smoking again.
(btw, just for the record - as disgusting as it is - I have been known to sneak a little smoky treat now and again - but I'll keep trying not to do that for the aforementioned reason. And because it causes a slow and painful death -which is not a secret - it says so on the box)

If I don't have the first cookie , then I don't eat the whole box. and, consequently don't have to drive to the store to replace it so I am not embarrassed or have to admit I ate the whole box.

Anyway - you get the idea.
It has helped me tremendously to get through this thirty day experience by asking myself - when I want to crumble - is this worth breaking the seal?
If you don't start (shortening reps, skipping cardio, sneaking a bite of extra yummies) then you don't have a problem.

Having said all that - I also think its worth mentioning that with a little extra mental effort you can "re-seal" your will power if you have a slip up.

It's not the end of the world. If life gets in the way, or you simply cannot refuse the lure of the siren call of some vino or a snack - then first off- for God's sake- enjoy the vino or snack and don't feel guilty about it!!!!!! If you aren't going to enjoy it, then why have it???
Just draw a line in the sand after wards and make up your mind that you are officially "re-sealed" for the rest of the day, then week , then thirty days!

I've always said..." one cheeseburger does not a fat girl make"'s the eating one wrong bite of something on Thursday and then going into "oh, screw it" mode, now, add an "I'll just start over again on Monday" to that and you have a perfect recipe for  three day binge when all you really had was a small slip up and treat.
Chances are you feel so guilty about shoving everything you can find in your pie hole that you don't even enjoy it.
Welcome to the wide wide world of yo-yo dieting and the world's best recipe for failure and low self esteem.

Don't ask me how I know so much about the topic.
Tracy did ten years of research on her method - I did ten years of my own research ... thank goodness I gave up studying mine- it wasn't working.

So - IF you decide you need to break the seal - make a conscious decision to do so - give it some thought - decide if it's worth it to you - and if the answer is yes - then ENJOY it- and THEN get over it!!! - and get back to the program.

Sometimes, 20 minutes into your cardio you just have to stop and get something to eat, but because you took a break doesn't mean you can't go back and finish strong!!!!

I just want you all to know this... if I saw myself naked right now- I would want to have sex with me.
just sayin'! The Thass is going in the right direction!!!!!


all BY THE BOOK....


3 days to go...that's all! I GOT THIS!!!!


  1. Hahahaha... While we're on the potty talk: What I've always known as "breaking the seal" is that first toilet trip when out drinking. It usually means you end up going with great regularity after that, but yep, same principle when applied to anything!

    You did great to get back into it after a short break. Many wouldn't have.

    I'm out the other side now. I'm very pleased with myself. And VERY surprised at the change. TAM definitely works! I have SHRUNK. I also have hope that one day my inner hottie will be released (she's lurking under some fat that only Tracy can burn).

    Still got a bit to go after bootcamp but I have some good habits formed and your and other blogs to follow (so glad your going to keep posting!!) for inspiration and the motivation to get rid of the rest of it (plus my own before and afters to look at if I ever think it's not possible).

    You're nearly there!

    Carrie xo

  2. Yay! So glad to hear you'll keep blogging! I have been treating the bootcamp as a kind of jump start for the Perfect Design series, so like Caroline, this blog has helped as my "inspiration and motivation to get rid of the rest of it" (her words). (I gained a ton of weight writing my dissertation - I call it my baby weight, and it really pi$$ed me off, because I didn't even get the kid!) Anyway, ten pounds down - thirty more to go. Oooooh, how I hate saying that out loud, but knowing others are out there struggling just the same somehow makes it better. So, thanks, I'm enjoying this and your success is so fantastic! You're almost done!

  3. So glad you'll be back - love you. I haven't started the BC yet - I broke my leg last winter and I still have a hard time doing all that cardio, the leg and the knees just don't want to cooperate. A yuck mood just makes me want to say forget it - that's why I've really enjoyed your blog, you make me laugh and stop feeling sorry for myself. You're doing great!


  4. Glad you'll still be blogging! I used "Don't break the seal" tonight while staring into my kid's halloween buckets. Once that seal gets broken, it's baaad news! I think I ate 75% of their chocolate halloween candy last year. So, thanks for the tip!

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