HERE I AM!!!!
I went AWOL (sorry!) for a day ...and may I say, with the warmest heart, how touched I was that anyone even noticed, much less, took the time to ask what happened and when I would be back!!!
"They LOVE ME , THEY REALLY, REALLY LOVE ME!" - or at least they love LAUGHING at me!!
Hey - I'm good with it either way.
But seriously - thank you for following and thank you for your concern.
to answer some of the questions you all have asked me in your comments...
1. No, I did not "keel over"
2. No, I did not "cave" - (I would have fessed up if I had...probably.)
3. Yes, I did have another perfect day!!!!! Well, perfect in the Tracy Anderson world
4. YES - I did go to college in OK - University of Oklahoma, Boomer Sooner , baby!
5. No, I am not a writer. The last thing I wrote besides emails and thank you's were papers in college - so I'm VERY flattered that you guys are SO STINKIN' SWEET to say nice things about my writing. I promised myself when I decided to blog that I would be honest and just sit down and write. I would not worry about what I was going to say, I wouldn't edit, or worry about typos, misspelled words, punctuation, grammer or all the other things that got me in trouble with many a teachers red pen.
I promised myself that I would just tell you guys what was on my mind. and what was on the back of my legs...and what was on my plate...and what wasn't.
I'm glad you've enjoyed it...or I hope that you have enjoyed it - and I must say that I AM SHOCKED, in the very best way, that people want to hear my eternal ramblings. Thank you again for reading and wanting me to continue rambling even after my thirty days are done! Who knows...maybe I'll just come up with more things to talk about. Life, after all, is always a challenge and there's always a lot to dish on!!!
4. and lastly...Yes, I do work.. two jobs in fact -thus the problem with yesterday and not blogging.
So, I'll get right down to it...
WHERE THE HELL DID I RUN OFF TO YESTERDAY???
What could have possibly been sooooo important that I couldn't find the time to blog to you all about my workout and my ever lifting Thass???
Well, truth be told - a big dose of life got in my way, took my time and took my blog!!!
Yesterday in a nutshell was, well - busy. It started off the way the last 24 days have...with a grueling 3 HOUR workout...good grief...followed by a fast shower, hair and make up and then off to the office with lunch in hand.
Although I felt great throughout the workout - it was a killer.
And I was so excited about LUNCH...only to realize it was a big pile of vegetables.
I mean, really??? I felt like a child who was told I would get a fabulous prize if I raked all the leaves in the yard and bagged them up. My prize? a big, fat, plate of vegetables. Did I mention that this kid lives on three acres?
suck it, veggie plate.
The kid wanted an X-box and got an Atari.
He wasn't happy.
The frustration of the veggie plate turned out to be a foreshadowing of the remainder of the day.
Although work was great and I was in high spirits- probably due to getting some "your so skinny" comments working in concert with my recently WAY TOO TIGHT jeans kind of falling off a little- but the wheels kind of came off when I got home.
I had a lovely evening planned of hanging with my sweetheart, working a little more and blogging. What I got was, in effect, another mother flickin'"veggie plate", (read: not at all the evening I was expecting)
I walk into my house and there is my precious husband sitting on the couch with two guys there to talk about a business deal that is a big fat nightmare in my books.
I wasn't in the mood to go over "all the finer points" of something I have already dealt with and knew James was over it too.
I felt like I walked in to my home and the grim reaper was sitting on my couch.
"Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Reaper, where are my manners? My I take your sickle? May I offer you something to drink or eat? Kale Juice? Veggie plate?"
Get the F out of my house, please.
By the time they left I was whipped, James was whipped and I still had about an hour of emailing clients back and setting up things for this mornings meetings.
Then it happened...uh oh. I changed my internal radio station ... to you know where. Yep...KFUK.
Oopsie... I don't know what happened. But suddenly I was NOT happy and I felt wildly sorry for myself! Pitiful Pearl was in the house!!! She's a whiner and I don't like her.
At first I felt upset and aggitated. Which made me want a food hug - roadblock - can't eat!!! Then I kind of wanted a glass of wine - road block again- crap! Then I even felt like I wanted a cigarette... a cigarette??? I haven't had a craving for one of those little buggers in a long while - so no way on that one. So without a single "woobie" to medicate with - I had no choice really... and I did what any self respecting woman who is annoyed, tired, over worked and under fed would do... I started crying.
...and apparently I felt that I should cry like it was part of the Tracy Anderson Method - long and hard, without stopping, until it burned.
Once I finally stopped (much to the relief of my sweet James) I felt MUCH better!
Guess the good thing about not having any weapons to use to fight to keep the emotions inside is ...well, they don't stay inside.
So after I "let it all out" I worked a little longer, answered some emails and had a laugh with a friend via Ichat...and by that time it was REALLY late and I was REALLY tired.
It's not that I didn't think about you all - because I did.
But after the veggies, intruders, meltdown and recovery - I just didn't have it in me to write the blog. I am really sorry - but I figured that If I failed to do something properly yesterday you all would understand that missing my blog update was WAY better than me cheating on the diet, workout or program in any way.
Which I didn't.
Which was a miracle.
Just sayin'. Last night was a tough one.
and today was no cake walk either... (I said cake.oh,my god cake. yum. I don't even like cake, but yum.) anyway - today was filled with an early board meeting and more meetings directly after wards - so you know what that means... nighttime workout!
I struggled with it tonight - not the muscle work, but the cardio. And not physically, but mentally. LOTS of internal voices painstakingly explaining to me why 20 minutes was enough. Ok, how about 30 - that's PLENTY. 40 is MORE than you thought you would do because of your crappy night last night. 50 is like wonder woman today - you don't need to do all 60 minutes...
I did all 60 minutes.
BOO -YAH Muther SCRATCHER!!!!!!
THAT is why my ass is getting smaller my friends!!!!!
because I am being a big ole bitch to the whiny little Pitiful Pearl inside of me that wants to curl up and lay down and be a titty suck cry baby!!!
NOT HAVING IT. Eat your veggies, Pearl and wash it down with a big ole glass of Shut the hell up.
Now...anyone on the program, past or present knows what happens after today...I start the LAST FIVE DAYS of the program and that MEANS I start the FIVE DAY CLEANSE.
My God, Tracy. You are a real ball buster, aren't you????? Good girl. We all need a little more ball busting, if you ask me.
I'm nervous about all the "drinks" and soups and ... Kale.
But at this point I could enter the phase where she tells you to eat "poop pudding" and would rock it out. I wouldn't have any friends due to the unfortunate shit breath, but I would stick to the plan!
Tracy... I just want you to know that I saw something that I thought was an urban legend, like Bigfoot, because I have heard of them - but never actually seen them - well, not seen them on MY BODY anyway...wait for it...I saw the junior starter kit version of those killer "V" shaped abs... ON ME!!!! SWARE!!! You know the ones- like Pink has, and Tracy has...the abs that are by your hip bones. I saw signs of them!!! Now, don't get me wrong, they are still hiding under a protective layer of fat and old man skin...but one day they will be holding court all by them selves . I'm going after them! I want them!!! I want them REAL bad. I have never had them - not EVER. oh....but I will. I will.
We are on day 25 people and blog or no blog, bad day or good, energy or none ,solid food or liquids...
WE ARE DOING THIS THING!
I would never break a promise to a loved one (or certainly try not to), so it's about damn time I treated myself like a loved one - and I am doing just that. I am keeping my promise to myself and finishing strong. 30 days - all following the program to perfection...even when the day itself isn't perfect.
Life isn't perfect.
My ass isn't perfect.
But the more I dedicate myself to making positive choices, the more I dig deep to match hard times with hard work, the more beautiful they both get. right?
I am learning to love myself enough to stand up to myself.
That makes me smile.
25 DAYS DOWN...
5 DAYS TO GO...
All BY THE BOOK...
PS- my weight is hanging tough at 128!!! and even though the scale isn't moving much it seems I'm shrinking a little more everyday - at least according to my jeans!!!
PSS- MY husband and I did a presentation today together and he told me after wards that he looked over and saw a totally different body on his wife!!!! A "Half Laura" he called it. He said he was extremely proud. He tells me everyday that he is so proud I've done it by the book!! Thanks, James!!!