May I just start off with this sentiment...
I am really hungry. I mean I am really hungry tonight.
Today is one of those days that seem to cycle around every few days on this program where you just have to be hungry all day long and the only thing you can really have is a big heaping, helping of "deal with it".
Not very satisfying.
But ...I'm dealing with it....
is it wrong that I have already begun inviting friends to eat dinner with me on day 31...?
Everything seems to be cyclical within the Tracy Anderson Method. Or more accurately, I guess within my body's reaction to the Tracy Anderson Method.
I am starting to notice a pattern of three days with lots of different issues....
Every third day it seems like I will surely starve to death, every few days I seem to go back and forth from feeling lots of energy to feeling weak and tired (today would be that day, btw), seems to be a pattern of two days in a row where I feel strong and capable while working out and a day where just getting up the stairs is a nightmare and within every three day cycle I go from feeling more lean, to feeling more "puffy".
I am guessing it's just a natural reaction to the blundt force trauma of the daily self inflicted ass whippings.
It could also be related to one other thing I am noticing that only shows up every three days or so.
I'll give you a hint: Pick a number between one and three.
Do you have your number? Are you thinking number 2? Yah, so am I.
I won't elaborate on this rather personal matter...but good grief. With all the greens and fruit we are eating you'de think I would be pooping like a Macaw - just at random and with no warning-
not the case. Few and far between.
More than likely it's the damn cellulite farmer hoarding it for fertilizer. I hate that s.o.b... I saw him today plowing the back 40. We shot each other the bird. He's not going down without a fight. Bring it on, old man.
Like I was saying, the last few days were "do-able" in the sauna / gym - and keep in mind that every day the workout now takes 2 and 1/2 hours!!!!!!!- so I am dreading tomorrow... for if history repeats itself...I will struggle with it. Fingers crossed I am wrong.
I could just be feeling sorry for myself because James just had a fresh baked cookie for dessert and I am considering paying bills just so I can lick the stamps.
On a brighter note....I did get to thinking this morning that as hard as this has been - it is, in fact going by really fast.
Day seventeen...almost over - which means Friday is almost here!!! That's all I can really bare to focus on - getting to Friday in perfect form. Friday is measure/pinch day #2 - I will post those little nuggets Friday evening.
The key for me has been to break it down into manageable smaller pieces. If I ever spend too much time thinking about having to keep this up for thirty days straight, chances are it would overwhelm and depress me and then I would think about the thirty days while standing inside the pantry conducting a taste test of all of it's contents. Kind of a food hug super sampler. It could get ugly. quick.
However... my tactic has been to think of it in ten day sections... that is why I am being measured and pinched every ten days - so I can clearly mark the start and end of a "section".
This , of course, coincides with the changing of the guards in our muscle work, which , coincides with the brutal, hateful soreness that comes with the changing of our muscle work. Ugh. I am dreading that already. When ten days seems overwhelming - I focus on today only.
This particular strategy comes in handy on nights like tonight - nights where I am hungry, tired, half way emotional and running low on give a shit. That's when I focus on hanging in there for another two hours and I can earn the other half of my "X" in today's square on the calendar and go to bed. Two hours seems WAY better than thirty days. Thirty days makes me want to throw myself through a plate glass window.
Two hours I can handle...I think.
Tonight and today were hard and part of me hates that and the other part of me appreciates it. Becasue as they say - if it were easy everyone would do it!
Taking this on - then blabbing about it on the internet was a scary venture for me.
But I've always said ..." It's not brave, if you're not scared".
So, even though I am tired, hungry and struggling today... I do feel brave. Brave enough to just "deal with it" and brave enough to admit it's not easy!!!! Brave enough to not make excuses and brave enough to deal with two hours. That will be good enough for today!
And lastly,,,if getting through the day, or even two hours seems overwhelming- then I focus on three minutes!
This is my favorite little trick I learned a while ago when I quit smoking...yes, I smoked and yes, I know how utterly ridiculous it was that I smoked!!! anyhoo -I read something that really helped me then and still helps me now. It was on whyquit.com ( an excellent site to visit if you want to stop smoking!) and it talked about how they have done scientific research that proves that a "craving" - of any kind - lasts a maximum of three minutes.
I put the theory to the test and I really believe it to be true! Whether it's nicotine, sweet tooth, snack cravings- whatever hits you - give it three minutes- do something else, distract your mind and voila! it will pass...promise!!!
The more you successfully navigate around cravings, the less frequently they strike... it's also a GREAT way to determine REAL hunger from just wanting a food hug.
Well, I think I'm going to go to bed now - even my blog entry is a struggle today!
Sorry I'm not my usual bubbly self-
I'm sure I will be back on my game tomorrow, hang in there with me!
DAY SEVENTEEN SUMMARY:
ENERGY: well- you all know how I am feeling today. Not my best.
WEIGHT: stayed the same -129! (In the 120's - that's still exciting!)
My jeans are feeling more loose every day - which is really weird to me - since I went from not fitting in ANY of my jeans to my smallest jeans beginning to get "loose" - all in 16 days...wow. That really is amazing.
My arms and other parts of me are starting to show real signs of toning!!
OH! and I haven't mentioned my skin yet!! - The skin on my face...not my old man stomach skin...
My skin is really looking better than it was before I started- probably due to all the water and healthy eating!!!!
So- all in all - I am thrilled with results so far and will keep going - NO MATTER WHAT - NO MATTER HOW HARD IT MIGHT GET !!! I Promise to everyone one of you out there trying to deal with the struggles - I will stay true to the plan - so hang in there with me!!
Congrats to Amy and Kelley who both started TAM program - keep us posted! Good luck!
Sorry I am not very funny tonight, just really tired.
Tomorrow will be better!
17 days down...
13 days to go...
all BY THE BOOK!
AWWWWWWW- for THE LOVE OF GOD!!!! - A Reese's Peanut Butter Cup commercial followed by a Domino's pizza ad... shitballs. I'm going to bed.
I can hear my farmer laughing. Keep laughing little man - your ass is mine! My ass is mine, for that matter...and I'm taking it back! We'll talk tomorrow...