Wednesday, October 20, 2010


May I just start off with this sentiment...

I am really hungry. I mean I am really hungry tonight.

Today is one of those days that seem to cycle around every few days on this program where you just have to be hungry all day long and the only thing you can really  have is a big heaping, helping of "deal with it".
Not very satisfying.

But ...I'm dealing with it....

is it wrong that I have already begun inviting friends to eat dinner with me on day 31...?

Everything seems to be cyclical within the Tracy Anderson Method. Or more accurately, I guess within my body's reaction to the Tracy Anderson Method.

I am starting to notice a pattern of three days with lots of different issues....

Every third day it seems like I will surely starve to death, every few days I seem to go back and forth from feeling lots of energy to feeling weak and tired (today would be that day, btw), seems to be a pattern of two days in a row where I feel strong and capable while working out and a day where just getting up the stairs is a nightmare and within every three day cycle I go from feeling more lean, to feeling more "puffy".
I am guessing it's just a natural reaction to the blundt force trauma of the daily self inflicted ass whippings.
It could also be related to one other thing I am noticing that only shows up every three days or so.

I'll give you a hint: Pick a number between one and three.
Do you have your number? Are you thinking number 2? Yah, so am I.

I won't elaborate on this rather personal matter...but good grief. With all the greens and fruit we are eating you'de think I would be pooping like a Macaw - just at random and with no warning-
not the case. Few and far between.

More than likely it's the damn cellulite farmer hoarding it for fertilizer. I hate that s.o.b... I saw him today plowing the back 40. We shot each other the bird. He's not going down without a fight. Bring it on, old man.

Like I was saying, the last few days were "do-able" in the sauna / gym - and keep in mind that every day the workout now takes 2 and 1/2 hours!!!!!!!- so I am dreading tomorrow... for if history repeats itself...I will struggle with it. Fingers crossed I am wrong.

I could just be feeling sorry for myself because James just had a fresh baked cookie for dessert and I am considering paying bills just so I can lick the stamps.

On a brighter note....I did get to thinking this morning that as hard as this has been - it is, in fact going by really fast.
Day seventeen...almost over - which means Friday is almost here!!! That's all I can really bare to focus on - getting to Friday in perfect form. Friday is measure/pinch day #2 - I will post those little nuggets Friday evening.

The key for me has been to break it down into manageable smaller pieces. If I ever spend too much time thinking about having to keep this up for thirty days straight, chances are it would overwhelm and depress me and then I would think about the thirty days while standing inside the pantry conducting a taste test of all of it's contents. Kind of a food hug super sampler. It could get ugly. quick.

However... my tactic has been to think of it in ten day sections... that is why I am being measured and pinched every ten days - so I can clearly mark the start and end of a "section".
This , of course, coincides with the changing of the guards in our muscle work, which , coincides with the brutal, hateful soreness that comes with the changing of our muscle work. Ugh. I am dreading that already. When ten days seems overwhelming - I focus on today only.

This particular strategy comes in handy on nights like tonight - nights where I am hungry, tired, half way emotional and running low on give a shit. That's when I focus on hanging in there for another two hours and I can earn the other half of my "X" in today's square on the calendar and go to bed. Two hours seems WAY better than thirty days. Thirty days makes me want to throw myself through a plate glass window.
Two hours I can handle...I think.

Tonight and today were hard and part of me hates that and the other part of me appreciates it. Becasue as they say - if it were easy everyone would do it!

Taking this on - then blabbing about it on the internet was a scary venture for me.
But I've always said ..." It's not brave, if you're not scared".

So, even though I am tired, hungry and struggling today... I do feel brave. Brave enough to just "deal with it" and brave enough to admit it's not easy!!!! Brave enough to not make excuses and  brave enough to deal with two hours. That will be good enough for today!

And lastly,,,if getting through the day, or even two hours seems overwhelming- then I focus on three minutes!
This is my favorite little trick I learned a while ago when I quit smoking...yes, I smoked and yes, I know how utterly ridiculous it was that I smoked!!!  anyhoo -I read something that really helped me then and still helps me now. It was on ( an excellent site to visit if you want to stop smoking!) and it talked about how they have done scientific research that proves that a "craving" - of any kind - lasts a maximum of three minutes.

I put the theory to the test and I  really believe it to be true! Whether it's nicotine, sweet tooth, snack cravings- whatever hits you - give it three minutes- do something else, distract your mind and voila! it will pass...promise!!!
The more you successfully navigate around cravings, the less frequently they strike... it's also a GREAT way to determine REAL hunger from just wanting a food hug.

Well, I think I'm going to go to bed now - even my blog entry is a struggle today!
Sorry I'm not my usual bubbly self-
I'm sure I will be back on my game tomorrow, hang in there with me!


ENERGY: well- you all know how I am feeling today. Not my best.

WEIGHT: stayed the same -129! (In the 120's - that's still exciting!)
My jeans are feeling more loose every day - which is really weird to me - since I went from not fitting in ANY of my jeans to my smallest jeans beginning to get "loose" - all in 16 That really is amazing.

My arms and other parts of me are starting to show real signs of toning!!
OH! and I haven't mentioned my skin yet!! - The skin on my face...not my old man stomach skin...
My skin is really looking better than it was before I started- probably due to all the water and healthy eating!!!!

So- all in all - I am thrilled with results so far and will keep going - NO MATTER WHAT - NO MATTER HOW HARD IT MIGHT GET !!! I Promise to everyone one of you out there trying to deal with the struggles - I will stay true to the plan - so hang in there with me!!

Congrats to Amy and Kelley who both started TAM program - keep us posted! Good luck!

Sorry I am not very funny tonight, just really tired.
Tomorrow will be better!

17 days down...
13 days to go...


AWWWWWWW- for THE LOVE OF GOD!!!! - A Reese's Peanut Butter Cup commercial followed by a Domino's pizza ad... shitballs. I'm going to bed.
I can hear my farmer laughing. Keep laughing little man - your ass is mine! My ass is mine, for that matter...and I'm taking it back! We'll talk tomorrow...


  1. Hey Laura:)

    Okay, I feel stalkerish because this is my second comment in two days, but I felt compelled to tell you how absolutely freaking AMAZING you're doing, and I know I speak for all of your other readers when I say that you are truly inspirational for all of us. I'm starting on Saturday, and I can say, without a doubt, that I will be referring back to your blog as I wage my own battle against the cellulite farmer.

    Btw - is there anything more motivating than trying on all of the clothes that used to be too tight and parading around in front of your mirror? I could do that for hours - and I most certainly plan to when I get my ass in gear.

    Keep it up - tomorrow is a new day. :)
    Melissa (in NYC - I know you have a few Melissas following you!)

  2. As someone that is not doing the BC and cannot relate in really any way to what you are going through I have to admit I'm a little concerned about the #2 issue and just the incredible hunger/lack of energy you're feeling. I like you would think with all the veggies/water you would be a-ok but I guess it's really not that much food that you're consuming. Not to mention that there are no whole grains in the menus-right?

    I can totally sympathize with you though and I'll send you some of my energy from Wisconsin where I've also been insanely hungry today and most definitely have eaten more than you. Tomorrow I'll energetically share my food with you!

    Do you have a plan in mind for the end of your BC-as far as what your diet will look like then? I am so curious what will happen to all of you brave ladies that have tackled the 30 day challenge when it ends. I haven't read the end of the book so I guess that would probably help wouldn't it! I'm sure Tracy doesn't just leave you hanging.

    Wishing you all the best~hope you wake up re-energized tomorrow!!

  3. Laura -

    I read your blog every day and was too lazy to even sign up for a goggle account so I wasn't an 'official follower'. But today, I decided I better give you a teeny tiny bit of support from SINGAPORE. Yes, you have a follower in ASIA.

    I know exactly how you are feeling and it is amazing that you are sticking with it. My TAM theory is that 30 days straight is CRAZY! Our bodies need to rest every 3 days or so, which is could be why you are going through these cycles. Be careful that you don't injure yourself. It would truly suck to get so close to the end and have to stop because of injury.

    Also a bit of warning about day 31. Whenever I have done these types of extreme diet and exercise plans, I find that 30 days of hard work can be wiped out in one weekend. It's true. It is like my body is being held together by spanx and a day or two off the diet everything immediately pops back into its old place. Just sayin ...

    But enough of day 31. Get a great night sleep, take it a bit easy on the workout if you need tomorrow and hang in there! People around the world are cheering for you.


  4. you're doing great! wish i had your commitment! we are human, not machines. can't expect us to feel the same about everything everyday! i have a blog too. have a look at
    facebook page 'dansa by sasha bashir'

  5. Thanks!!! I feel much better and ... MYSTERY SOLVED... guess what... it's that time of the month for me! Now I get why I was so - soooooo- hungry yesterday and feeling really tired...
    I feel better just knowing I can get through this "cycle" - I have been dreading it - wondering how hard it would make things while trying to do this program - Thank goodness it didn't happen during the cleanse!!!! Thanks again for all the words of support!!!
    I'm getting a late start on my workout today...but that's ok!
    Again - you guys really make it possible for me to keep going! Thanks!!

  6. Thanks for talking about the #2 problem!! I REALLY thought that I was the only one going through it! If I could just get that figured out I think I'd be soooo much better! Hope today is a better day for you!! :-)

  7. It crossed my mind when I was reading your blog that it could be that time of the month. I do find it difficult too to keep up the healthy regime when energy is low. I think it actually is a good topic to ask Tracy what to do when we have our periods especially with her diet. I wonder if she considered it when making her plan. I certainly need to eat a steak at one point to bring up the iron.
    I'm very impressed with your 2 1/2 hour workout. You are definitely going to get amazing results. We got your back Laura. Hope you have a great workout!
    Melissa from Canada

  8. take it easy Laura! it is a choice you have made and again if you REALLY feel bad, you can modify your choice a bit maybe. as it is very much repeated in TAM FB page, you can make additions to your portions if it is hunger you are feeling. as to energy levels, they may fluctuate. again take it easy on that one too and don't be too harsh on yourself. you are already excellent as the way you are. although you have been going through hard moments, i am very much impressed by your performance. try to hang in there!

  9. What are you talking about, not funny? You were hysterical. I especially liked your part about cravings. I've never heard that before. Good job and keep it up! You are stronger on your diet than I could be with that little food.

  10. OK ROCK!!! I just started reading this and it is LOL funny...even if you don't think it is! I've shared a couple of comments from your blogs with some of my friends...specifically the one about the Swedish girls "No thanks, I'm satisfied", and also about "I choose not to eat the pizza, I choose to follow my plan"'s not rocket science, but it's genius!! Have an awesome day tomorrow :-) And thanks for sharing...

  11. Thanks again ladies!!!! you all get my through it and I feel MUCH better today!!!

    wooo hoo!!!
    I'm back to my old crazy self!! Thanks you for all the supportive messages!!

  12. I LOVE this blog entry sweet La....I'm on day 12, and am just heading over to your blog to read up on your journey! (i've been blogging mine as well!)

    Isn't it crazy the emotions that rise and fall during this?
    I was seriously JUST thinking about this today, wondering why the heck I was on TOP of the world two days ago, and today I want to lay in bed and hope that someone can breath for me. =)

    But, I trudge on because after all Tracy has done for US I'm a'thinkin she at least deserves a few of us who trust her enough to do it by the rules!