OH MY GOD!!!!!
That was a NIGHTMARE!!!! Seriously... a nightmare today trying to get through my workout.
It felt like I was in one of those horrible movies or dreams where you are running and screaming trying to get away from the masked serial killer and although they only walk and don't swing their arms...they always catch you!!!!
Today's work out was like that...
No one can hear me screaming. No one is going to come help me. I am alone in the woods with a cellulite farmer and he has a machete.
I'm so screwed...or am I????
I guess I finally woke up from the nightmare (read: I am done with the 2.5 hours of living hell) and it was so bad that it was comical.
It was so bad, in fact - that I had to come tell you all about it right now. I couldn't wait until tonight for fear I would forget just how bad it really was to get through today.
I am guessing it is tied to my body trying to keep up with all the change AND it's other monthly "duties". Whatever the case may be - that shit was HARD!!!!
At one point I was screaming like Steve Carell in the movie '40 Year Old Virgin'... you all know the scene... where he getting his chest hair waxed off... well, that was me today!!!!
"Ohhhhhhhh! KELLY CLARKSON!!!!!!!" followed by a few F bombs ... mixed with a few words I just made up because the old ones no longer seemed sufficient. I was thankful James was not home.
(sidenote: I could listen to Kelly Clarkson sing the phone book and think it was the most amazing thing I'd ever heard! And on top of being amazingly talented, she's funny as hell and she's basically just cool cat city. An all around kick ass chick. If you don't already worship her...you should start immediately)
I was thinking about getting through the workout today - and getting measured and pinched today- and ya know - I think part of what was bothering me was I feel very "puffy" today (again - it all seems to be cyclical) and it kind of irritated me.
I was sort of getting pissy about working so hard and digging so deep and feeling like Farmer Celly (I think that's what I will call him from this point forward) was kind of mocking me and dancing with his walker and making fun of me - he kept saying maybe I needed a walker too. I hate him. Mean old sum b...
Don't get me wrong - I feel thinner, more muscular, etc - just felt puffy and was annoyed by that - I am not in the mood to retain water. But apparently Farmer Celly has re-routed the irrigation system to try to water his crops, he's tricky, that little old man. But I will flood him with more water than he could ever contain today and come out victorious!
I started laughing at myself at one point during the cardio because I was flailing around ( Seinfeld's Elaine was sooooo BACK IN THE HOUSE TODAY) that I thought if Tracy could see me she would probably say ..."Seriously, please just stop. You're upsetting me"
hahaahah!! oh well - screw Farmer Celly! and Tracy...you'll just have to be proud I kept going - ugly as it was -because I got through it!!!!!
I did notice - that it was EXACTLY this time last week that I thought I was going to crumble and not make it through - could just be that by the end of the week I am spent. Weekends are a little easier because I can sleep a little later and start a little later...who knows. I guess it's just part of it.
At least it will make me appreciate it when it seems more manageable again.
Dear heavens above... let it seem more manageable again soon!
Well... I'm going to go shower so I can work more and then get measured!! I am not really sure how that will come out today (again - why I was getting annoyed today - it's "measure day" and I feel puffy)
I know it doesn't matter - I have been by the book for 18.5 days - I can't help it if I'm puffy today - AND I KNOW that won't stay that way - it just is what it is ladies and gentlemen!!!
Steer the course! Hang in there! It's the big picture that matters....
I GOT THIS! I will make it through thirty days if it kills me!!!!!!
Oh, and if it in fact, this does kill me - please DO NOT put me in a casket!!!! I do not like enclosed spaces and am highly opposed to synthetic fabrics.
I cannot imagine spending en eternity lying in some god forsaken poly blend satin, that has been poorly tufted and quilted. Just a horrible thought. Would it be too much to ask for someone to line a casket in cashmere....? uh, hello.
Please cremate me and sprinkle my ashes half over Neimans and half in Tracy's Kale Juice. Drink up Tracy!!!! :) How do you like me now??????
You guys have a great day!!!!!
I'll be back tonight with my day 20 numbers!!! (I know - one day early - but my "measurer " would like to spend time with his family on the weekend.. how selfish, right? I cannot believe measuring my Thass doesn't mean more to him than his family.... very strange to me, oh well, to each his own) good, bad or ugly - I will post them tonight and I will not let them re-dial my station to KFUK if they aren't great - I'm doing the best I can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH! and it was kind of like Christmas today , after all!!! Yesterday I looked at the wrong menu day and today was Mango smoothie day!!!!!! There really is a Santa Clause!
Let's see... Mango smoothie or hard boiled egg and Kale juice?????.... uh... that's like asking me - would you like an hour long massage...OR... a root canal followed by a colonoscopy.
I'm going with the massage. Mainly because I'm not stupid.
I feel great now that it's over - just wanted to make sure you all knew that it is HARDER SOME DAYS THAN OTHERS... for me anyway!!!!
Let's do this thang!
later with numbers....