Friday, December 24, 2010

This Christmas...

Merry Christmas Everyone!!!!

With all the talk of Thass sliding, workouts, food, sweat, Tracy, muscle work, cardio, inches lost, confidence gained...

I find myself in that magical hour, of that magical time of year when everything slows down and what's really important comes into focus.

So tonight I wanted to send a special message- not about all the funny things we usually talk about (we will get back to all that -AND IN A BIG WAY - with the New Year coming soon) but tonight my special message is for each of new friends old friends...

I received a Christmas card this year - and it had within it a message I loved.
A message I read over and over.
A message I want to share with all of you....

It was from my friend Caroline Oden Wylie.
She and I haven't seen each other in years - we were best friends in middle school and  high school - and I look forward to getting a card from her every year so I can watch - if only annually - her beautiful four children grow up to be little people, little people that look a lot like her and her brothers, if you ask me!!!!

So, thank you Caroline for the card - this year and every year. You're card really sums up what I wanted to say this year - so before this post is done - I will quote it in full!

Ya know -just because we don't see some of our friends often, it doesn't mean that we don't think of them and value all the years, or months, or even the days we were in each others lives.

I miss friends that I do not get to see much anymore - but I always hold them in my heart.

I think the same can be said for some of my new friends - lots of you!
Most of you I have never met -and yet you've been so supportive and reached out to me and cheered me on... I value the friendship!

From all over the world, from right in my back yard...friends, family... and friends that become family,
this is the time of year to take a moment to thank them all for the role they have played in our lives - tell them if you can...send a prayer to them if you can't. Either way they will hear you.

We are all a product of the people in our lives.

And I for one - am all the better for it!

Here's what Caroline's card said...
I just loved it!

"This Christmas...  we would like to put up a tree in our hearts; and instead of hanging ornaments we would like to place the names of all our friends.
Close friends and not so close friends.
The old friends, the new friends.
Those that we see every day and the ones that we rarely see.
The ones that we always remember and the ones that we sometimes forget.
The ones that are always there and the ones that seldom are.
The friends of difficult times and the friends of happy times.
Friends who, without meaning to, we have hurt, or without meaning to have hurt us.
Those that we know well and those we only know by name.
Those that owe us little and those that owe us so much.
Our humble friends and our important friends.
The names of all those that have passed through our lives no matter how fleetingly.
A tree with very deep roots and very long and strong branches so that their names may never be plucked from out hearts... so that new names from all over may join the existing ones.
A tree with a very pleasant shade so that our friendship may take a moment of rest from the battles of life.
May your special moments of Christmas brighten every day of the New Year."

From my heart to yours, I wish you all a healthy, happy holiday filled with love and laughter.

I am thankful to call you my friend.

Merry Christmas!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010


WHEW! That was a close one!

My bloated holiday self just stepped on the scale and - quite frankly...I was terrified to do it...because I was really afraid I might have "tipped it" for the first time and gone over 130.
But... as luck would have it...still hanging at 127!

Praise the Thass God's! It's A Christmas miracle!!!

NOW -  THE DINNERS OUT - two nights in a row, THE COCKTAILS - two nights in a row, THE LAME EFFORT to workout - two days in a row... it can't go on...not for one more second...and sure as heck can't go on another - TWO DAYS IN A ROW!!!!

This is a little like security at the airport going from orange to red...except when I go from orange to red - you actually will see something different happening. That and I won't take your tweezers or lip gloss.

Today - I will NOT eat a bite of everything I see...I WILL go upstairs and do my cardio (ALL of my cardio)...and I WILL NOT, I repeat, I WILL NOT, go out to dinner!!!

Last night was Morton's Steakhouse... my GOD!!!...Morton's... I had a salt lick for an appetizer.
or at least I feel like I did today!

Actually I knew I was needing to really watch it - so I ordered salmon and broccoli rather than the medium rare fillet with creamed spinach - my usually fave...I also requested no butter, no oil...

which I thought was a bold move.
I skipped the bread, had a few bites of a bacon wrapped scallop, one bite of lobster and a bite of shrimp cocktail -
so moving from apps to dinner...I was rocking - so far so good, right???
oh, and one cocktail - but also drinking water with lemon!

Well, all was going really well until - you guessed it - dessert.
And you know why going out to dinner is difficult???

Not because of what YOU order...but what the people NEXT TO YOU order!!!!!

I had my husband on one side...and my mother on the other...they both "pre-ordered" the Godiva chocolate lava cake with vanilla ice cream.
How rude.
What's even more rude....ordering it ...and then NOT finishing it and leaving it right in front of me.

chocolate lave's just not fair. It's Kryptonite to my Superman...

Not only did I finish my mother's...I then went after the remaining portion of my husband's!!!
I finished it too!!!

That is EXACTLY what I ALWAYS do!!! I am disciplined with my ordering...but not with the extra spoon they drop off for you "just in case"....

"Just in case" what????? - Just in case you want to embarrass yourself by reaching half way across a big table to get another bite off someone elses plate?
Just in case the four courses of Fred Flintstone size portions weren't enough to fill you up?
Just in case you weren't QUITE miserable's an extra spoon...

I'm surprised I didn't turn around and ask the neighboring table while they enjoying THEIR dessert..."Hey! You gonna eat that?" All the while pointing and twirling my "extra spoon" in their direction.

Next time someone offers me an extra spoon, I am going to have to resort to extreme discreetly rubbing it on the bottom of my shoe, placing it in the nearest potted plant, or distracting everyone at the table while I simply throw it over my shoulder.

Consider yourself warned: flying flatware -do not sit behind me at a restaurant

No excuses...I'm going upstairs to workout - 60 minutes of cardio!!!!!
I did mat PDS III yesterday - but no cardio.
The day before I did PDS III- but lame cardio effort...maybe 30 mins!

I think I might take an "extra spoon" upstairs with me so every time I want to stop working out...I can look at that little curved Thass making utensil and remind myself why... I need to KEEP GOING!

Maintaining... but I can't eat everything ALL the time!

I'm still VERY encouraged with how much "life " I can have and still keep things under control...but I can feel the last couple of weeks being a little loose with the food...

Even though I tried to clean it up for the five day challenge (which I didn't really do as well as many of you!!!) I need to give another effort - if I want to stay under 130!!!

Plus- I'm going to the beach!!! YIKES!

I'm feeling good... glad I have you all to confess all my sins to!

How's everyone doing during the holidays???

Remember : this time of year doesn't have to be a time to lose...just maintain..or even put a limit to how much you can gain...
the only thing that should be unacceptable  is a sweat pant clad runaway train!!!!

That will only make you feel icky.

Don't ask me how I know....



Sunday, December 19, 2010

So, I guess now that I'm SUPER famous....

Well, now that I'm an international siren of the silver screen...

and by silver screen I mean the silver screen of your laptops!!

Now that I have actually posted ONE video blog... I am feeling rather famous.
and by famous... we all know I mean in my brain movie. autographs - please people...I just want to live a normal life - go to Starbucks, and then go shopping with The Kardashians and maybe end up on the cover of US know...normal things like that.
I'm just a simple girl with simple Barney's and Botox and eventually a recommendation for a good plastic surgeon.
I think it's important to stay focused on what REALLY matters in life.

HA! see.. this is EXACTLY why you all shouldn't say so many nice things to me ... It will go straight to my head and I  will certainly become intolerable around the house!!!

I am so glad everyone seemed to have enjoyed the video blog! It was kind of silly- but fun, none the less.
I'll try it again in the near future - now that I know I can at least upload the dang thing.
Maybe some roving reporting even....hmmmm.

But- all kidding aside - thanks for all the precious things you all said about the video blog...
It made my feel very special! thank you. :)

There were comments ranging from "Loving the Thass-cam!" to "keep vlogging" and LOADS of nice things to say about my TAM arms...maybe we should all re-direct those comments to Tracy Anderson!! Thanks Tracy!
Anyway - now I'm really starting to let my brain movie run away with me after all the compliments - If I'm not careful, I will lose half the day dreaming of accepting my award at THE BLOGGIES.
THE BLOGGIES!!!!- hahahaha!!! sorry , I just made myself laugh a little.

I'm kidding...about the bloggies...but not about the thanks you's! Thank you. Seriously, means a lot to me.

Ok...I am trying hard to step up my game here ladies...but this food thing is GETTING MORE DIFFICULT!!!!

Damn... today - made ANOTHER big pot of chili so I could have some on the stove when my family arrived. Then my mom gets here with an actual shopping bag FILLED with sweets, snacks and lots of WTD's.

She keeps going on and on about these little chocolate bumpy mounds of deliciousness -something called a "Lammies" or "Lambies" - She's asked me ten times if I want to try a "Lammie"...
MOM! stop it already!
I am trying to get the back of my thighs to not have the texture of a "Lammie"  - You've only been here two hours and the "food pushing" is in full force!!

I know at this exact moment my friend Barbara is saying "Now, wait one minute! You are every bit as bad as your mother!" (I tried to push some chili off on her today and she refused it - saying I needed to stop bringing food to their house!!!)
Barbara .. you're right...I'm just as bad! :) at least I come by it honestly!

So- I did successfully avoid the lammies...and I had grapefruit for breakfast while James had zucchini bread with butter... but I am fairly confident there was little snacking going on in the afternoon. and maybe in the evening too...
No biggie- but I can tell I'm going to have to watch it - tomorrow night is a dinner with friends and a Garth Brooks concert (and probably a little festive cock-tailing)  and the next night is a night out to dinner at Morton's...

this train could run off it's tracks in a hot minute!!!

Here's my survival game plan...

1. Keep working out. When time is crunched - I will probably opt for cardio over mat.

2. I will watch what I order at meal time and then my little bites of things shouldn't be a problem. But add little bites to big meals and my Christmas goose is cooked.

3. WATER, WATER, WATER. and more water.

4. and here's a little party survival tip... DON'T EAT ANYTHING THAT IS PASSED AROUND BEFORE THE MAIN MEAL!!!! if you are at a party and there will be a sit down dinner - or main meal served - SKIP ALL THE HORS D'OEUVRES!!!
Basically if it has  a tooth pick sticking out of it - SKIP IT!

Those little Thass balls on a platter...served with a smile and a napkin...they are killers! You can easily eat the same amount of calories popping a few of those bad boys in your mouth as your entire meal.
Besides... I would rather have a glass of wine... cause when was the last time a swedish meatball turned you into the life of the party???  Just sayin... one gives you a big ole buzz... the other gives you a big ole butt. You choose.

5. Lastly.. don't drink too much wine!!! because that will have you looking through your hostesses fridge after the party looking for the dang meatballs you passed on earlier...don't ask me how I know this.


so today...
I am not so happy to report that I got up this morning at ...wait for it...3:30 am. It felt much more like a nap than a good nights rest. Just couldn't sleep - so I got up and was working out by 5:30 or 6:00 am this morning.

All I could think was..."wasn't I JUST here?" ....
Funny, I never seem to pause and ask myself that same question when standing in front of the Banana Nut bread...

anyhoo...worked out hard, made it through PDS III (this was 7 of 10) and about 40 minutes of cardio.
The three hours of sleep caught up with me about the time I hit 10 minutes...the next 30 were agony.

It was like a hostage negotiation ...I was both the hostage...and the negotiator.

"Just let the girl go"
"she's not going anywhere!!!"
"She clearly needs medical attention" (like oxygen)
"She's staying here and finishing ALL her workout"
"DAMN IT, man! She's not gonna make it!! Can't you see that? Have you NO Heart, let the poor girl go!!!!"

Right when I thought I would die...Bruce Willis swung through my window with some other swat members and they rescued me.

Not really...but since I'm a CLEARLY a  big movie start now- it seemed more fitting to have a big flashy ending rather than tell you what really happened.

Which is - I told myself to piss off.
 I turned Tracy off mid song ...about 40 minutes into it...
apparently the skinny girl in me acts a little like the fat girl in me when she's tired.

Bitches, both of them...if you ask me.

I just couldn't do it anymore. 40 minutes is a respectable effort - I had just planned on going 60. No biggie...

BUT ONE DAY...soon, I hope...I'm going to get through 60 minutes of dance cardio - I mean all from the dance DVD...because that is one TOUGH disco party !!!
I am still mixing and matching the dance cardio with boot camp cardio.

I'm really sore today. Honestly - I have noticed that anytime I REALLY focus during my Mat DVD - I am more sore the next day!

Once again...just like our little mighty mouse (Tracy) said would happen...that chick is ALWAYS right.

I am exhausted, my friends! Going to go hit the hay!
All my friends doing the five day challenge have been checking in with me - and are all rocking it - I think better than I am...
but we are trying together and that's what makes it fun!

Tomorrow's goal for me: drink about 10 glasses of water!!!!! With lemon!!!!
I need to flush all this salt in my system out...not even sure where it has come from..
but the bloat got ta go!

I adore all of you!
Thanks for stopping by and checking in - we will hold hands through the holidays as we gingerly navigate the weapons of thass destruction ...and then decide on a full out plan of attack for the new year!!!

thanks again for all the sweet things you all said!!!

tomorrow I think I will share with you - some of my MOST favorite comments - there are some really funny ones!


Saturday, December 18, 2010


After much frustration... I finally gave up and just uploaded my silly little video blog to youtube and posted the link below!!!
I went to the genius bar and thought I had it figured out..but apparently not.
Apparently... I am not a genius.

So hopefully this will work. I used my Iphone video...but had learned how to upload videos from my Flip camera - it seems to be my nature to make things as hard as humanly possible.

Just click on the link below and it should pop the video right up! If it doesn't.. maybe just act like it I don't want to poke my eye out with a stick.

Assuming it works...

I'VE SHARED MY EXCITING NEWS ON THE VIDEO BLOG! Well, it's exciting for me ...and it's all because of you! So, thank you very much! I mean that, I really do.

I'm going to go work out now...which I am not happy about because it's late and I would rather watch a movie and wrap presents...but - I also want to fit in my jeans, stay under 130 for a year, and honor my commitment to my fellow five day challenge buddies... sooooo - upstairs I go.

Remember..."The best way to get what you to DESERVE what you want!"  (Charlie Munger)

So - I'll go rock it out and feel good about it!!! ... and try to deserve the body I want. In the mean time- I will love the body I do have, and be thankful that it is getting more strong and more lean all the time!

Today's been great! I got to see some dear old friends and that was good for my heart.
...and a dinner we had for tonight cancelled...which allowed me to get other things done - including a workout! WHEW!

I know I am a complete dork in the video blog - but I've never done one before...maybe I'll get better at it! Maybe not. Maybe - I am just a dork!

Everyone that is kicking Christmas Thass in the five day challenge has been checking in with me and I'm proud to tell you - they are SO ON IT!

More updates on every one's progress tomorrow.
Enjoy the video... I hope it works!!!

All my warmest holiday wishes are going out to each of you and your loved ones.

 Be good to yourself! You are worth it!!!


Friday, December 17, 2010

a "five day challenge" shout out !!!

Ok kiddos...

How's it going????
It's day two of our little mini Christmas smack down!!

I've completed two days of 60 minutes of cardio coupled with 1 hour of mat work..PDS III - to be exact.
Yesterday I ate REALLY well...very clean - and woke up to a little early gift of returning to my latest all time low weight of 124.
Glad to see that little number back!

I have to fess up though... I didn't eat as well today! shitballs.
Could have been due to the following...

I spent part of the day baking Banana Nut and Zucchini bread to give out to friends ...all from scratch..and I don't mind telling you I have MAD skills when it comes to baking.

I love to bake. I love to cook, in general... sadly... I also love to eat the things I bake and cook.
I made it through all the zucchini bread without a problem...didn't even lick the spoon.

But there was a break between baking sessions (had to get some work done) and that put me in the heart of the afternoon when I started on the  four loaves of Banana Nut bread.

I made the amateurish mistake of not eating much lunch...thus creating a hunger that called out to me.
Right about the time the bell rang with the new batch of hot, yummy, from scratch bread...

and who among us can resist the lure of the siren call of freshly baked breads...?

Well, sorry to report...I ate a small piece of the banana nut bread, too!
Well, sorry to report...I ate a small piece of the zucchini bread.

I rationalized it by telling myself that it was the right thing to check that I didn't use salt instead of sugar, or that they were poisonous - you know important things to know before you give out treats...they were damn good- that's what they were. damn good.

all in all - the rest of the day was perfect...
salmon, veggies, water, workout...
just a small slip up on the "bread for lunch" matter.

BUT I AM BACK ON IT!!! - I will clean it up even more for the next three days for a strong finish in the challenge!!!

Whew.. I feel better. Like I just got out of confession.
and No, I'm not Catholic.
I'm actually Episcopalian ... if religions were soft drinks it would be kind of like Catholic Light.

I'll say 3 "Hail Tracies" and be back on track! back down to 124...I'll let you know if it stays there tomorrow...and with only a small slip just might, who knows? Might not- it's a new weight and it seems to be shy about sticking around. It kind of pops up and then goes a way.
Like Whack-a-mole.

 Also... I went to the Apple Store and had an appointment with the Genius Bar...I'm gonna try the video thingy again!!!!

I would have tried it today, but I was having a bad hair day.
and since it feels like I'm meeting my Internet lover for the first time... well, I want to look my best!!!!!!

Here are my  noble Pre-Christmas challenge buddies!!!

Thanks for jumping in with me - I'll be PERFECT hang with me!

SUSAN B(she's on it! - called me the "Mighty Thass Eliminator"! )
JENNIFER( she did day to perfection!)
LYNDA (she checked in - and rocked it today!)
MAKIA (she knocked out day 1!)
JUDE ( did a Zumba marathon for charity! double great!)
SUMMER (already did 5 days - she's going 7 more - awesome!!)
PAOLA (who worked out today with Tracy for 2 hours..I'm jealous!)
GRUBBY1986 (love that user name!)

How did you guys do on day 1 and today????????

I'm giving myself a 10 for yesterday...and a 7.5 for today....
I'm planning on three 10's in a row!!!

Inspire me ladies..and gentlemen! Keep me honest... I'm guessing the shame spiral I'm in will eliminate me slipping any more - because I was very used to NOT having anything to fess up to during boot camp...
So bring on AT LEAST three solid days - I'm on it.


   "All I want for Christmas is my size 2 jeans. My Size 2 jeans. My size 2 jeans.
... Gee , If I could only have my size 2 jeans... then I would wish you Merry Christmas."

I gotta say...I'm not even sure I could ever wear size 2 jeans...that was only to make the song work.
And, let's be honest about it..if I could wear size 2 jeans..I wouldn't wish you a Merry Christmas..
I'd wish you a Merry Thass-less!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I worship all of you for jumping in ...and for the rest of you cheering on the group!
Good luck tonight, rock out your workout tomorrow... and KEEP IT CLEAN!!!



PS- I got some jeans that I ordered off the Internet - and they are too small...but I decided to keep know...just in case I de-Thass any further. :)

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I am overwhelmed...

I am overwhelmed today.
Not by the holiday craziness, or the workload, or the challenge of maintaining my fitness, or trying to be all things to all people...

Today I am overwhelmed at the kindness of strangers.
I am overwhelmed with the comments of love and support that have come in today regarding yesterdays entry about the rough weekend with my father.

It is such a warm feeling to know that so many people, people whom I have not met, may never meet, would take the time to post such lovely and caring things.

Not to mention all of the amazing friends that I do have the honor to know in person ...
from the bottom of my heart, I thank you all.

I wasn't really sure how a post like yesterdays would be received, since I am usually much more colorful and light hearted.
But life isn't always lighthearted. Sometimes it gets heavy and isn't it amazing... when so many people step up and offer to help you carry the weight...
It suddenly doesn't seem unbearable.

I hope that in some tiny way, I might return the favor one day.

Several of you commented on having similar situations, losses and hurts.
My prayers for your peace are being sent out like crazy today - I hope you can feel them.

I am so thankful for the friendship. I am so thankful for the prayers.
...and I am so thankful  you all  received my message with such kindness.

We all tend to carry our burdens quietly inside and put on a brave face for the world, lest we bother anyone with our hurts.
The irony is - sharing some of the less than beautiful parts of our lives can bring comfort to others -simply by them knowing they are not the only ones who have experienced disappointment, pain, hurt or loss.

We are all broken in some way.
...and the beauty is in the imperfection.

Perfection is an illusion.

Like I always say - "The only normal, perfectly happy people in the world are the one's you don't know very well."

We all have a cross to bare in life. Everyone suffers from time to time.
but it's part of it... how else would we know the high of joy and love of we did not feel the deep pain of despair sometimes?
It's the yin and the yang, baby!

Again - thank you all, I am deeply touched by your caring and loving comments.

NOW... let's get back to talking about something REALLY important....
my THASS!!! :)

Your THASS!!!

Tracy's Thass!!! Oh, wait....Tracy doesn't have a Thass.
Which is exactly why I got up this morning and ROCKED out a workout.
It felt great to sweat and release some of the past few days.
It also felt great to release some of the sodium and yuckiness I was holding on to...

Bye bye Bloaty McBloaterson...

I am LOVING that in one day I can always recover now... sometimes I only need one day of clean to wipe away all traces of several days of a little extra.

That's some seriously GREAT news!!!
I have never felt such a peace about maintaining my weight before - ever.

It's not that I haven't maintained my weight before - it's just that usually if I completed some program or fitness plan I would feel really lean right afterwards and then start panicking about what to do next to maintain and wishing I had planned the end of the program better to coincide with whatever beach trip I might have coming up...
because I knew by the time it rolled around I wouldn't be as lean.

Well, guess what folks... I've got a beach trip coming up...two in fact...and even though one is right after Christmas (a time when I would usually crawl in a hole before I would consider a beach ANYTHING after the holidays) and a second trip in the summer - I KNOW I will feel just like I do now.
In control, healthy, fit, and ready to rock out a bathing suit!!!!!!

Now...don't get me wrong... there will still be a towel wrapped around my buttocks before I walk right in front of anyone and they get a big old face full of my wobbly parts...cause there is still work to be done!!!
BUT..BUTT...I'm hoping for the second trip - which is next summer - for that trip to be the first time in my life that I will be happy to "go get that for you" and sashay right in front of someone without praying the sun temporarily blinds them before they see my Cellulite Co-op.

So -how's this for a goal to shot for....

The Trip...BORA BORA

The Time...late June 2011

The Goal....To feel good enough to walk around in a bathing suit...with or WITHOUT a cover up!!!
That was my ultimate fantasy, if you finally - for once in my entire life - feel comfortable in a bathing suit.

Oh, it's on's sooooooo on!

Now - in my immediate future lies a trip to Cancun...just after Christmas.
I will gladly wear a swim suit...but I will probably not be skipping around without some form of a wrap...not quite yet.

I'm not sure my friends could take me getting much more fit at this point..I'm already a living nightmare to be around.
I make EVERYONE poke my abs or one of my butt cheeks.
Sometimes even people I don't know very well.

It scares them.


at this point they usually walk off and are somewhat traumatized.


Maybe I should buy them a drink first. Ya know...get them in the mood.

Tonight my precious friend Holly had four of us gals over for a girls night out dinner! It was delicious and I ate every last bite.
I am fairly confident that I burned off at least as many calories as I took in by simply talking..talking about the Tracy Anderson Method.
It happens a lot now... everyone wants to know the same things.."how hard was it?"(hard) "what did you eat"(not much) " would you do it again?" (hell yes - in a minute!)...  I am thrilled to tell them ALL I know about it.
Don't cha just love that... give a girl a blog and suddenly she's an expert!!!!????

Anyhoo...I talked their ears off about what it was like, the details of boot camp, and how easy it is now...they are joining a long list of Nashvillians thinking about giving it a go in Janurary...I told em they would love it!

Maybe we can call Nashville..."Thassville" come Jan 2011!!
Leslie, Jill and Kelly - great seeing you tonight and thanks Holly - the meal was amazing!

My lovely hostess apologized for serving pasta... but I assured her- it's all good! I can eat anything I want these moderation, as long as I continue to workout and not go too crazy!

We drank a little wine, enjoyed a small amount of pasta with venison marinara and a lovely salad...oh, and brussell sprouts - one of my faves!

We also nibbled on a piece of garlic toast that was charred beyond recognition.
I mean...I think it was bread.
We are still waiting on the dental records before we will know for sure if it was actually bread.

She "warmed it" a little too long!
Kind of like a charcoal briqette crouton -it was yummy (sware) and I ate the whole thing!!!
 ...although I may have chipped a tooth.
I'm kidding , Holly! it was perfect!

I will say, I should probably clean up my act a little more in the next few days to have a running start on the family arriving this weekend.
I don't want to get TOO confident about owning my new weight - it does still take effort...
but I'M TELLING YOU - I am maintaining, still losing even - and enjoying life to the fullest.

Check this out...after flying to Dallas and back on the same day, not working out at all on Sunday or Monday...oh, and did I mention that when I got there I had a cheeseburger and fries with my brother...and a few nachos at the airport on the way Monday I was nothing short of puffy - weighing in at - after one day of cleaning it up...125.

Loving that! It comes right off...every time.

Tomorrow I will resume with the exact food plans from last week - as that seems to be helpful for those of you trying to maintain right along with me!
Sorry life got in the way and I didn't get to finish out the week with meal plans for you all. But I'm back and rockin' let's do this thang!

I continue to be amazed with the method! Well done Tracy!

and lastly... guess who already got out of the hospital?... my father.
they released him saying "they couldn't believe his improvement, it was as if it happened overnight" and he left me a message saying he was going to "put a serious effort into taking better care of himself"...
so how about that?
Thank you again for all the prayers and well wishes. I think he felt them.
I know I did.


VIDEO BLOG TOMORROW???? why not!!!!
ooooooo, I'm nervous! But I must do my first video blog tomorrow because I have something REALLY unbelieveable- I mean BRAIN MOVIE type stuff -  to share with you all!!!
he he...I'm excited!

I'm tired...going to go crash now.
Sweet dreams, you all are the nicest people in the world to keep reading along with me..and you soothed my soul today. thanks again, more than you know.

Monday, December 13, 2010

A different kind of weight...

well, I kind of dropped of the face of the earth for a few days and I'm sorry about that but this past weekend life ushered in a different kind of weight.

The weight of the past. The weight of life when it gets a little heavy.
The weight of things that you just have to deal with...because it's all part of it.

We will get to that soon...but in an effort to catch you all's where we left off...

My last post was Wednesday night, and I like I mentioned then - Thursday was shaping up to be a big night of fun with the Titans football game.
And after a long week of work, a Thursday night football game tends to lend itself towards a frolicking good time a lot more than a Sunday noon game.

Uh....  I had a BIG time!

We tried our best to cheer the Titans on to a drink at a time.
But sadly, they could not pull it off.

My group, however, pulled off quite a fun night out on the town in honor of the effort!
I am not a big drinker in the first place and now that I am all considerably smaller...well, it doesn't take much before I'm fully prepared to wear a lampshade on my head.
After dancing for at least an hour at a fun little place that didn't actually have a dance floor, playing shuffle board, and carrying on with all sorts of general shenanigans I crawled home in the wee hours of the night and collapsed in the biscuit for a great sleep.

I had ever intention of getting up and working out...until I actually got up.
Oops...change of plans.
Hey - who hit me in the head with a shovel?
Ummmm...could I please get some aspirin?
Maybe some water?
 ...a cheeseburger???
You know you've dinged yourself pretty bad when a cheeseburger doesn't even sound very appetizing.

I would tell you I regret it, but truth is - I had a ball! I do not let my hair down like that very often -because let's face it - the recovery time just ain't what it used to be.
Can I get an Amen?

Thursday night was all good clean fun but it left Friday to be an all hot mess.

I did manage to make it to my appointment at 1:00...and was ever so thankful it wasn't any earlier.
That says a lot since I'm the girl that springs out of bed like toast from a toaster every day at crack-a-doddle-doo in the morning and seizes the day.

Friday I was just thankful that I didn't need to seize the commode.

Just about the time I was sitting down to blog and recount all the antics of the previous evenings rompings - in much greater detail and with a few pictures...
That's when the wheels came off.

The different kind of weight than I usually discuss.
The weight of life. The past. The stuff that hits you right between the eyes.

I got a call from my brother and he said simply "I'm on my way to pick up dad and take him to the hospital. He's dying."

Now, for those of you that don't know me - my biological father and my "daddy" are two different people.
Terry, who is actually my step father, is who I think of when I talk about my dad and any of you that know me and have been with me when I introduced you to "my dad" - well, that would have been Terry.

I have a strained relationship with my biological father, and he is the one I am talking about today. Not Terry. Terry is doing great and I can't wait to see him this weekend when he comes to my house for the holidays. I'm really excited for them to get here!

My father, on he other hand, isn't doing very well.
 Although I haven't seen him in years, it is still with a heavy heart - as you can imagine -that I received the news of his health.

I have known he wasn't in great shape for a while.
It is hard to be in great shape when you don't really take care of yourself - and as much as I wish he took care of himself - he hasn't in a long time.
He is -and has always been- a four pack a day smoker.
He is also a heavy drinker. I'm guessing he thinks I do not know the heavy drinker part.

He was always a beautiful man - 6'4", 240, really handsome.
He currently weighs 125 pounds.

Ironic, isn't it? I've been blogging about weighing the same thing.
But it's a whole other matter on a 6'4" man, than a 5'6" woman.

I felt so sorry for my brother having to deal with it alone - I am in Nashville, they are both in the Dallas area - and I wished I could be there to help him, literally and emotionally, carry that weight.

I decided I had better get on a plane.

It got more complicated Friday night when my father refused to go to the hospital until Saturday - who knows why ???
 I can't really tell you I've ever understood any of his life choices.

None the less, he finally made it to the hospital on Saturday and they admitted him immediately, wondering how he had survived that long.
He began immediately feeling better with fluids, oxygen and food - as he had been completely out of all of them.

I flew to Dallas to see him, and knew that more than likely it would be the last time I ever saw my father.

I was sad for the life he lives because although I had to distance myself from him a long time ago for my own self-preservation - I have always wished all good things for him.

I have never once taken any solace in knowing he was a lonely man. It has always broken my heart.
I've always wished for him to have friends and family in his life, but honestly, I've never been too surprised he didn't. Sad - yes. Surprised -no.
He just never really figured out how to be a man of character. I think he tried, I really do...

but the one thing I have come to know for a fact in this life - if you nurture something it will grow, starve it and it will die.
My father nurtured a lot of the wrong things in life, and I'm sure he would go back and change them if he could. But that's the funny thing about life - you can't go back.

You can forgive, even forget, but you can't go back and do things differently.

You can't go back and "un-hit"your children and take away that hurt.

You can't go back and "un-say" the horrible things that you said to your children that made them question themselves and their worth. (and if you ask me- the words hurt WAY more than any spanking. It's why I try to never say anything to anyone that I KNOW will hurt them - it's just not worth it.)

and you can't go back and "un-teach" all the wrong ways to be a man - or how a man should love.

You can always start doing things differently and try and make up for the past.
But that usually requires admitting you might have been wrong in the first place.

I know my father always loved me - I have never questioned that before, and still do not question it - and I'm sure he did the best he could to show both my brother and me that he did.
He just kind of sucked at it.

I'm not sure how to be any more honest about it than that.

So, like I said -going to see him, opened up all sorts of wounds.

I felt a weight.
A weight from the past.

and it was a heavy one.

My brother prepared me - or tried to anyway- to anticipate how ill he looked.
There was nothing that could have prepared me once I laid eyes on him.

I hardly recognized him.
He is 67 years old and looked like he was at least 98.
It was shocking.
I felt so sorry for him.

Although he was feeling much better by the time I arrived in Dallas - and I'm thankful for that - I cannot imagine that he could survive much longer in the shape that he is in.

He told me he was admitted for pneumonia, but the nurse told me she did not see any mention of that on his chart, but that they were treating him for COPD (pulmonary disease - from smoking) and they were watching for "with drawl signs"- I assume from drinking.
I do not remember him drinking a lot growing up - but I was well aware that it has been a primary focus for the last couple of decades.

He was thrilled I was there and I was happy to see him too... I guess. As happy as you can be to see someone so ill and know that there is nothing you can do for them because , quite frankly, they do not want to be helped.
Trust me, we have tried. 
My brother has begged him to go to a doctor for YEARS, as have I - and we certainly offered to pay for it when the "I can't afford it " card was played.
But there was always an excuse, or reason given why he wouldn't go...we were making headway if we ever got so much as an "I'll go soon".

My brother has carried the burden of looking after him much more than I, mainly due to me living in another state. But also - they have that father son thing - which makes it more complicated, I think.
I'm thankful for my brother.
I've never been more thankful for him than when he came to the airport and picked me up so I wouldn't have to go see him alone.
(Thanks, Bud. I love you.)

 My father is still in the hospital and I do not know how long he will be there. I hope they let him stay for a long time so he can regain some strength - both physically and mentally - and seek further medical attention.
I would be lying if I said I thought he would do anything other than return to his old habits and wait for it to be too much on his body.

That literally breaks my heart to say it - but I feel it's the truth.

I have been sick about it for days.
...and knowing it might make me sound like a horrible person, I was so relieved to come home.

His is just not a world I understand, and it is one that is REALLY hard to bare witness to, it just leaves you feeling helpless and sad.

We had a nice visit, even though sometimes I am at a loss for words. NEVER the case!

I assured him I loved him and was glad to see him feeling better.

I quizzed him on when he was eating, what the doctors were saying, what could we do to help him ...he danced around every question and every request.

Very sad.

He also said a few things that I will spend some time thinking long and hard about in the near future.

He made a few comments about the weight of some of the woman coming in and out of the room.
The women that were trying to help him.
I believe after he explained how he would be "lost without her help" - talking about one friend that came to visit - he said "you know, the one with the second biggest ass in the bunch"
Can you believe that???
Why would he comment on her outside appearance (and btw, she was lovely on the outside) when the point he was trying to make was how beautiful she was on the inside.
This is the kind of thing he has said since I can remember.

I was equally bothered by his comment as I was how pitiful he looked.
They both upset me.

I can only imagine that all the comments he made to me growing up about peoples weight and how they looked - about my weight and how I looked -well, I'm sure it left quite a mark.

This time around - he was nothing but sweet to me. He's really been nothing but sweet to me for years.
But then again, I haven't allowed him to be anything but sweet to me in years. I changed the rules a long time ago between the two of us.

He told me I looked gorgeous.
He told me I looked happy and healthy.
He told me how much he appreciated me coming to see him.
Ho told me how much he loved me.

I appreciated his kind words. I really did.

But I appreciate the kind words I say to myself even more.

Because it took me a long time to believe myself as a young woman when I said something kind to myself about my appearance...if I said anything nice to myself at all.
I had heard a lot of unkind things growing up from him. Not all unkind, of course, but enough to have some staying power.

I had to learn for myself that I was worthy of being loved.

I had to learn for myself that I was gorgeous, happy and healthy.

I am forever thankful for my mother and for my step dad- Terry ( I prefer to call him my dad) for they made sure that I always heard ONLY positive things!
They made sure I knew I was loved and worthy of always being loved.
They helped me to learn how to love myself and others.
They got it right the first time.

Please say a prayer for my father.
I can't imagine how difficult it must be to live with so many regrets.
I will always love him, despite my frustrations with some of the choices he's made.

I guess that's the great thing about God and children.
They tend to keep loving you no matter what you do.

I know today's entry is a little more heavy than usual but when I agreed to blog during the first thirty days, I agreed to be totally honest about everything I was going through, so I felt like if I'm going to keep blogging then I'm going to keep being totally honest about everything I'm going through...seems only fair.

We all have all kinds of weight to deal with in this life.

Some you have to bare, some you have to shed.
But all of it is yours to do with as you feel...

and that's a beautiful thing.

I hope my father finds peace.
That is my prayer for him.

Tomorrow I am back at it - I'll report on all the fun stuff again...
like asses and workouts and food plans and struggles.

I'm going to go decorate the tree and and then go to bed early so I can get up early and SWEAT!!!
I need it.

I hope you all are having a wonderful holiday season so far...
Merry Christmas...
AND PUT DOWN THAT COOKIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


PS - you are beautiful! ... Just in case no one has told you that today. :)

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Tattoos, Bumper Stickers and Cookies....

Good evening everyone!

 I am having some kind of weird allergic reaction to something in the air and I had to take a Benadryll said "my cause drowsiness".
Well, for what ever reason - anything that says "may cause drowsiness" causes me to basically become a narcoleptic.
Narcoleptic is the one where you fall asleep without warning, isn't it???
I would hate to confuse it with the other "N" one that means you have sex with dead people. Necrophiliac or something right...?
I called the re-bounder a reformer the other day in my blog (thank you precious Shanti for drawing it to my attention!) anyway - confusing the one that makes you fall asleep with the one that makes you sleep with the dead...that would be worse.

And as long as we are on this disgusting subject... Who the hell would want to have sex with a dead person in the first place?????
I mean, I have had a real yawner before ...but he had a pulse.
I was hard to tell.

Hey - what in the wide, wide, world of sports is going on here??? How did we get on the subject of having sex with dead people??? and so early in the post???
Do you like how I said "we" - how did "we" get on the subject??? Don't worry - I'm not trying to pin this on any of you...I must be referring to all my personalities!!! They are all outspoken, it seems.

No wonder my husband loves that I'm gives "all of the me's" someone to talk to ...he can hardly take listening to all of them chitty chat his face off every night!!!

When people tell him "you're wife is sooo funny"...his typical response is "Yah, try living with it."

I choose to think he's kidding.... oh dear. I hope he's kidding.
Oh well, too bad so sad. The state of Tennessee says he has to deal with it. HA!

Neck-I'm-gonna-feel-your-rack ...or whatever it's called, sleeping with the dead...well, that's just gross. some things in life you just can't make up.

Speaking of - I saw something the other day that made me laugh out loud...and I could never make something like this up...

It was a guy driving a Jeep in Nashville - but it wasn't just ANY Jeep - it was a JACKED UP Jeep - with every redneck bell and whistle. He was wearing a beater t-shirt (shocker) and had the doors off the jacked up Jeep - even though it was freezing outside - but here's the best part...
The bumper stickers on the Jeep.

This particular gentleman had three that caught my eye before the light changed and he went on about his hillbilly way...and they were as follows...
1. Hooters
2. Trojan condoms
and my personal favorite...
3. "If it wasn't meant to be eaten, then it wouldn't be shaped like a taco"

I laughed for ten minutes.
All I could think about is that I would bet my own car that this guy hasn't even SEEN a naked woman since Reagan was in office.
...and that time it was probably on cable television.
I'm guessing his eight track stereo was pumping out a tune from Loverboy - circa early eighties.

Bless him.
If you, Mr."My peenie is the size of a Vienna Sausage" Jeep driver, happen to be reading...well, I'm sorry. I'm sure you are a lovely person and I don't mean to hurt your feelings..but someone should tell you that maybe your approach to attract women is a little off.

By now- he may have added a new one..something along the lines of "remember my name, you'll be screaming it later" or "I may be an old dog, but I can still hide a bone" ..

After I stopped laughing I got to thinking...what is it about bumper stickers??? Have you ever noticed that most bumper sticker people can't stop at just one???  They usually tend to cover every last little spot on the back of their car. I find that fascinating!!!

It's like they usually start out with something small and tasteful... like a "save the whales" or " I love my (insert picture of a Schnauzer)" or...maybe something from their children's school.
But I've come to see those as "gateway" stickers... they are merely the first of many to come.

Soon they will make a political statement, or some kind of comment about global warming (I like when those are on the back of big SUV's) - next thing you know they re sticking on random radio stations they do not even listen to because they're chasing the high...eventually they will have to go cold turkey when the run out of room...or get a new car and start all over again.

After the bumper sticker chain of thought... my brain connected the dots to the same theory applying to tattoos. Rarely does anyone have just one.
IT starts  with a little heart or star or rose.. and next thing you know - there is tribal art, barbed wire and the inevitable mistake of ...the current partner's name. The later usually becomes something else after a series or painful laser treatments and a mutant hybrid idea from your tattoo artist.
A perfect example... Johnny Depp changing his "Winona Forever" to "Wino Forever".

Our son, David has the greatest tat I've ever seen in my life... after asking what everyone thought about him getting a tattoo and most people responding that they thought it was a mistake to get one - he simply had the word "MISTAKE" tattooed on his foot!!!!
Hysterical! I love that child!

I also want to go on record that I have nothing against tattoos OR bumper stickers ....they are simply not MY thing... and as I always say... "every ass has it's seat"!

Lastly - I have decided to put cookies in the category of not being able to stop at just one!!!!
Cookies... my arch enemy.
 They are a close relative of the Brownie... and they are gateway foods for me - I start with what will be "just one" and next thing you know - the box is gone, the plate empty,  all that is left are the tell tale crumb signs of snacks that once lived outside my  Thass.

Why is that? I have NEVER had a problem of going back for additional servings of broccoli because It's JUST SO DARN GOOD!
Yesterday, for what could have been the first time in my life...I ate only ONE cookie.
It was the star cookie with icing. It had friends. I wanted them to join the party in my stomach and then when last call came - they would have finally gone to the after party that goes on takes place on my thighs.

But this time... I took into consideration that I had over indulged all weekend and skipping them all together would have been the better choice...having only one was a close runner up.
I choose to only have one.

Next time - or today rather - I choose NO cookies (yeah!) because I knew that what seemed innocent could turn ugly in a second.
Like too many bumper stickers... too many cookies can become "the junk on your trunk".
Just sayin...

Maybe I will put a sticker across the back of my OWN trunk (aka :Thass) that reads:
"If I don't start, then I don't have a problem"

or better yet... I might put it across my mouth!!!!

Hang in there everyone...
I know I rambled on about nothing today!!! Blame it on the Benadryll!!!
Hey! I just googled "funny bumper stickers" to see if I could find a photo to download...and I saw one that made me laugh out loud....

                          I guess, in my infinite immaturity - everything today is going to be gross!!!!!
                                    Oh well, we can't be serious ALL the time...can we? 


Weight down ONE "recovery" pound to 127.
I'm guessing same will happen tomorrow....? another pound?? it may hold on longer this time due to extended snacking days..?

If anything, I under ate today.
Not by much, but it was a hectic day and I was on the run all day long!

WORKOUT: I skipped my typical a.m. workout due to early meeting time and needing to be at the office, and went to a Zumba dance class with a friend. I love the class...but I think I still love TAM dance better! Not because it's more fun- because I do not think that it is...but because I think it is so purposeful- I can tell it's getting it's job done.
I did dance as hard as I could at Zumba for 60 mins though!
Tomorrow - PDS 2 and 60 mins dance cardio for me in my hot little area -I'm looking forward to it!
. I took the day off from Mat work today. I am finding that if I take one day off during the week (Tuesday or Wednesday) it helps for me not to be too tired on Thursday or Friday - so I can still workout and actually GO to work. :)

WATER - 2 or 2.5 containers worth...probably  about 60 ozs.

Kefir again...trying to keep those pro biotics going down the tubes to chase away the weekend...if you catch my drift.

LUNCH: BC soup - ginger, sweet potato and carrot - or something like that - small portion - didn't finish it due to my next meeting showing up early.

SNACK: Blueberry applesauce (BC recipe)

DINNER: Grilled chicken over broccoli with small dollop of sour cream

EXTRAS: about 10 almonds (organic, unsalted), about 15 organic semi-sweet chocolate chips and half a tablespoon of almond butter (if that much - a tiny bit)

I wasn't hungry at all today - MIRACLE - could be that I also drank TWO extra cups of coffee- which is not a good thing because I don't drink enough water when that happens and I think that has a lot to do with the amount of cellulite.

Hmmmmmm.....maybe that will be my next challenge!!!!! to try no caffeine and a couple of other techniques - like Synergy machine or my Well Box (things that suck on your skin and promise to remove cellulite) and some potions to see if we can get all the cellulite off the back of my arse.

That could be about some terrifying before and after shots.

OR.... you guys are welcome to suggest ideas for my next 30 day challenge and we could all pick one...?
I must really trust you guys!
Hey, I'll be your Huckleberry.

"Weigh in" on the matter, won't ya????

Hangin tough - and staying under 130 for a year!!!!!

Monday, December 6, 2010


ok... today I wanted to discuss MOTIVATION.'s an elusive little bugger, isn't it?
One day I am literally the most motivated person in the world- NOTHING can stop me...and then, with little or no warning...I am motivated only to do things that require NO motivation.

I think that is why I decided to take the challenge to maintain an all time low weight for a year.
Which would require long term motivation...or dedication, if you will...and whether I have motivation or not - I will have to rise to the occasion and kill my inner fat girl- again and again and again.
The bitch is a cat...she clearly has nine lives.

I don't know about you all...but I am VERY motivated when it is convenient.
When all the elements are in place. I'm rested, not hormonal, things are going well, when my schedule allows..basically when I'm whistling zippity do da and things are rosy- well, then - I'm motivated. Who wouldn't be???

When I'm doing my own metaphorical impersonation of Leo at the bow of the Titanic...
"I'M KING OF THE WORLD"!!!!...well, it easy to rock it out and be firing on all pistons.

Its an entirely other matter  when the ship is going down, you realize you aren't in first class... and your ass is about to go swimming!!!

You'll go from Leo's "KING OF THE WORLD" to Seinfeld's George claiming "SHRINKAGE" ...pretty darn quick.
Or at least I do.... (not claim shrinkage, because I am a girl and therefore do not have a penis - but I do go from feeling bullet proof, to wanting to curl up in fetal position)

Sooooooo, I thought I would address the matter of staying motivated - even when the ship is sinking...or you just want to jump ship.

I hear more questions and comments from all of you on how to stay motivated than on any other topic- so let's talk about it , shall we????

Now, for those of you who don't know may not know this, but...I'm a quote junky.

As much as I talk - I feel there is really no reason to try and say something original when someone else has said it I pulled some of my favorite quotes on the matter.

I agree with Tracy that "Sweat is the only fairy dust"... so let's start with that one...
and here are a few more to chew on... especially when you want to chew on something like a corn dog.

1.When you're wondering how you will maintain your results after boot camp or after reaching any goal you've worked hard to achieve - as well as, getting to your goal in the first place... I think the key is perseverance.

"Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did." - Newt Gingrich
There is no pill.
There is no short cut.
But...There is no better feeling than rising to the occasion -again and again- kicking your own ass, and then looking over your shoulder and liking the way the ass you just kicked looks. Persevere that, Thass!

2. When we fail to persevere from time to time....we fall off the wagon, skip a workout, snack WAY too much, or generally misstep on our plan...all is not lost. Allow yourself to make a mistake- but never allow your self to quit... I think that mistakes are temporary, but quitting is permanent.
  "Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit." (Conrad Hilton)
"Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth tries." (John Albert Michener)

Don't you just love that one??? "...the third and fourth tries" - hell ya! 
It's never too late to try again but it's always to early to give up. That's what I say!!!

3. Next time you give it a go focus on what it will take to get to your goal.
You are the boss of you. Now- show yourself WHO'S BOSS... every time I wanted to quit during my thirty days of torture - I focused on my promise to myself and I put my head down and bitched, and cried and pushed my way through it...and EVERYTIME it was the next day I saw results...the changes come after you kick down a wall. 
If it were easy - everyone would do it. 
It isn't easy - it's hard. It's as hard as your abs and buttocks will be when you push through!!!
"When I thought I couldn't go on, I forced myself to keep going. My success is based on persistence, not luck." (Norman Lear)
(sidenote: James and I are fortunate enough to call Norman Lear a friend - what an amazing man. inspiring on so many levels.)
"Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity. "
~ Louis Pasteur 

Now- When Norman Lear (creator of such legendary TV shows as "All In The Family" and "The Jefferson's") and Louis Pasteur (creator of pasteurization and the theory on germs) agree on the same secret to success - well, there just has to be something to that, don't you think????

4. and lastly... this one is my favorite... if you want to do something, accomplish something, achieve something special, something not everyone else can do... to me, it is the secret to success.

"Success seems to be largely a matter of  hanging on after others have let go. "
~ William Feather 
Well said, William. Well said.
I hope you will think of one of these quotes next time you want to give in or give up!!!!!!!!!

I have fought my weight my entire life- seriously...I think I was on slim fast instead of formula as a baby... and now I am maintaining results I never thought possible - but only because I hung on when I wanted to let go. I forced myself to keep going and I didn't quit.

and now I'm doing more hard work after I'm tired of doing hard work!!! But it's all worth it...and quite frankly- it's not that hard anymore!!!!
I'm a long way from ANYTHING that would called a prefect bod...but I am proud of my results and am proud of the changes I've made - that's what matters. Not perfect...just better!!!

I'm wishing you all AMAZING resolve, even when your ship feels like it's sinking!!!

Well, all my talk about (please insert annoying mocking voice here) "I guess I'll have to eat more" 
...I ate more...and more... and guess who felt like a bloated mess this morning....ME!!!!

Nothing too horrible, not too horrible at all - BUT - I felt it on my body. I could see it in the mirror. I saw it on the scale. I did not like it one little bit. 

I did a considerable amount of cleaning it up today in an effort to feel more lean and put an end to the EXCESSIVE snacking (although a few infractions still found their way into my plan today...oopsie) and I'm already feeling better. I will be interested in tomorrow and the day after that to see what my "recovery" time is for the weekend and week long infractions. I'll keep you posted!

Today's weight...128. 

It was 127 yesterday (and earlier last week it was at all time low of 125) which is lower than boot camp final. 

Again - although I was not happy about feeling it and seeing it on my body - I am still thrilled that so much extra snacking only did minimal damage - I will interested in seeing how much effort has to go in to recover....hmmmmmm....

Workout: PDS 2 and TAM new rebounder workout (on line) for 45 minutes. I attempted to do 15 more minutes of dance cardio after wards...take a tip -if planning on mixing the dance cardio and rebounder workout (mini tramp) then -by all means- do the cardio dance FIRST!!!!!!! 
To try and do it after's like trying to dance with concrete boots on - so I didn't do an extra 15 minutes!!! hahaha! Wait- wasn't I just waxing on and on about pushing through, blah, blah ,blah...tomorrow I will do 60 mins of cardio!!!

Calories burned: 600 

Hey! look- I can raise my eyebrows...must be time for more Botox!!!!
Here's what the U.S.S Thass ate today...

4 oz flavored Kefir  
about 10 blueberries, about 10 almonds - organic, unsalted.

3 turkey avacado wraps
there's a shocker...Stevie is begging!!!
veggies...oh, I'm sorry did I say veggies? I meant sugar cookie shaped like star with icing, shitballs.
and...about 5 cashews. I guess I was afraid the cookie didn't have enough salt -so I grabbed a few cashews.

We were in the studio all day and I guess I decided that I needed a snack...I didn't need a snack. I just love cookies. Let's be real about it, ok? I wonder if that icing will look equally lumpy on the back of my Thass...? 

chicken with broccoli and peppers (a considerable improvement to having a bowl of chili with cheese)
one bite of buffalo mozzarella- which is what that weird looking blob of something white is on the left side of the photo. I added that to my meal for no other reason than it sounded tasty.

ONE GLASS RED WINE - a lovely glass from Arrington Vineyards actually - if you are in Tenneessee - check it out - AMAZING place , AMAZING wine and owned by my dear friends Barbara and Kix Brooks and Carol and John Russell...they (and their wine maker Kip, of course) have done a wonderful job of making wine to be proud of...from TN!!!

                                  one spoonful of almond butter

yes, I know that I had dessert when I had the fat ass cookie earlier...which would be no big deal, except I was really "planning" on not eating any junk...oh well - I'll try harder tomorrow!

All in all - I would give today a solid 6 or 7 out of a possible 10.
I am subtracting 1 for cookie, 1 for wine and 1 for shorter cardio workout. Maybe another 1 for a few extra snacks on a "clean up" day. More tomorrow...I hope this is what you all wanted to know, and I hope it helps you!!!! If not - then feel free to laugh at the dork eating cookies!!!!!!!

I'll post my weight in the morning!!!! 
and, no - I have NO idea why the font size also changed mid post...argh, sorry!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

EXACT FOOD PLAN...well, almost exact... sort of exact...

Happy Sunday everyone!
I trust you all are having a wonderful weekend!

I have had a weekend full of ..well, just full really. Full of food! If calories were money I would be RICH right now...oopsie!

Guess I am getting a little ahead of myself with my indulgent snacking! But - I must say... once you can all hate my's not causing me to gain any real weight! Now - I did go up a couple of pounds on the scale over the weekend, but I'm guessing it's due to sodium and should come right back off tomorrow when MONDAY MELTDOWN rolls around, because let's face it - aren't we all a little better about eating clean on Monday's???

So, HIGH FIVE FRIDAY sent me into snacking mode which lead me straight into SADDLEBAG SATURDAY and I finished the trifecta with SINFUL SUNDAY.
I can tell I've over done it a little - BUT... (not BUTT).... but...I did my cardio on Friday, Saturday and Sunday and that really seems to help! (also mat DVD on Friday)

Lots of you are wanting to hear about my exact eating plan. Apparently, my exact eating plan this weekend was...if it can't out run ya- EAT IT!

I'm kidding, well, kind of...
I think the main difference in the way I "over do it " now is I enjoy bites of things that are yummy and certainly not great for you - but after a few bites, I'm satisfied. My meals continue to be relatively clean, but I have been really adding the "bites" of what ever I wanted for this entire last week.

What are some exact examples of "bites"...well, how much time ya got?

Everything listed below has gone into my big ole pie hole within the last week (in very small doses- unless otherwise specified) and I'm probably going to forget a few! Keep in mind that I usually eat fairly clean meals - so this heinous list is in addition to main meals. Ugh.
...and then I will outline what I NORMALLY EAT during the week, and what I will be eating ALL this coming week to clean up my act... since this past week wasn't very normal.

Man, this is kind of awkward posting what a COW I've been on the Internet.
Oh well.

Here goes nothing....

Peanut M& M's

raw almonds

raw almonds with organic chocolate chips

raw almonds with hazelnut chocolate peanut butter (yes, you read that correctly)

regular organic peanut butter

a peanut butter cookie (ok, it was 2 peanut butter cookies- and YES they were large. Gawd, you people are tough to get one past)


Flat bread everything crackers with Parmesan Reggiano cheese and hot peach chutney (I bought that for a friend of mine, forgot to leave it with them and then I ate it!!!! damn. It was tasty though)

2 glasses of wine -  2005 Pahylmeyer - and it was DAMN WORTH IT!

3 cranberry and vodkas - always a fave of mine - and no, they weren't all in the same night...oddly, one was today at the football game, one was Friday night, one was Saturday night. The Friday night vodka/cran did pair itself nicely with both glasses of  wine listed above. which , consequently paired themselves nicely with most of the things on this list...once again- drinks = snacking for me!!!
No one likes a fat drunk.

a couple of Wheat Thins

a small bowl of chili...with four Fritos, a little cheese and onions. it was really good. it was snowing gotta make chili when it first snows, right???

a few bites of peach cobbler

hey - this is getting embarrassing.

2 chicken fingers - with some honey mustard.

I'm like the energizer bunny..STILL EATING....
Actually it was more like  still grazing - and this is spread out over a week. I defending myself when no one is even talking to me?

Isn't denial the first sign of a problem???
ok, carrying on...

sugar free wafer cookies

1 Nutri grain bar - strawberry to be exact

2 chocolate wafers thingies with some yummy wine dip thingy -(oh my heavens- I can no longer even properly name the crap I've eaten this week)

and I've saved the best for Thass, I mean last...

3 organic, homemade chocolate peanut butter cup things - homemade in someone elses home - I didn't  make them.
If I knew who made them I would dress in all black and sneak into their house in the dark of night and steal all the had, run to the nearest shrub I could hide in and eat the shit out of them.
Can you see it now? The cops shining a light in my face and demanding I "freeze!"
I would have that stupid look on my face like a squirrel that stops mid nut eating frenzy and then goes right back to frantically eating!
I'm just sayin...they're that good.

ok - I am exhausted and slightly shocked at looking at my list of extras this past week.
and - like I said before- I can only imagine how much I forgot...

It's an interesting thing to do thought, isn't it? to start listing all the extras - it's both shocking that I snacked so much and even more shocking that my body can process that much extra and not have it really effect my weight.
NOW...I know that a little here and a little there is fine- but as of today - I can feel it a little so I know that tomorrow it's time to clean it up.

It is exactly THAT concept that I am enjoying with my new "keep it under 130 for a year" plan.
With boundaries in place, I know that I won't let anything get out of control - a few days in a row are fine- a few weeks in a row - not so much.

I also notice that my extras are contained to a few bites, not a complete whacked out binge. I have no desire to eat too much. I ate a little too much on Friday night  and it wasn't until then that I realized how long it had been since I had felt that "too full" feeling.
I hated it.
It was a horrible feeling.
It also made the next mornings cardio more difficult -it feel like I had a food baby.

So...mixed in with all the crap listed above... I also ate lovely , healthy, veggies, fruit, kefir and even kale - cooked not juiced!

(sidenote : I think I will try Kale juice this week and see if I can heal the Kale juice relationship I marred when mistaking it for Turnip Greens.)

Actual effect on my weight this week...well, at first I kept dropping a little, then I finally put an end to that!!!! so low for the week - 125. Today - 127.

My guess is after a good workout in the morning and a clean day of eating I will go back to 126...then 125 after a few days if I follow my normal plan...

Here is an example of what normal CLEAN EATING (post boot camp) day looks like for me :

-early morning wake up
-drink one cup coffee with soy milk or almond milk (usually one more cup at office)
-workout (PDS plus 60 mins of cardio - cardio is mix of 40 mins of TAM cardio DVD and BC cardio)
-breakfast: fruit, OR Kefir, OR a little of both - occasionally some egg whites or an egg- but I'm   usually in too much of a hurry to cook)
- shower for work
- make large lemon water
- prepare and pack lunch and snack
- Lunch - tuna over arugula, OR turkey patty over baby spring mix, OR any fish with veggies or BC soup recipe
- Snack - apple with organic almond butter, fruit, edemame, or basically any BC type snack
- drink lots of lemon water throughout the day
- Dinner - usually something just like I listed for lunch...mostly fish and veggies type stuff.
- I would be lying if I didn't say I usually have some tiny bite of something sweet after dinner - like a little nibble of almond butter or a swig of Kefir - flavored , of course. but after that - I stop eating! That is the key- NO NIGHT TIME EATING AFTER DINNER. It's the key for me anyway- and it's the hardest part about all of this... but the biggest deal maker or breaker. The stinking nighttime feedings.

Basically - I am following mostly Boot Camp menus - but not following them exactly - just using a lot of them for guidelines because I grew fond of the clean eating.

I clearly added a lot over the last seven days because I would get caught somewhere without my lunch or snack and that's when the nutri grain bar would take the place of my fruit (no big deal), or I would skip a meal and then be starving and eat something like a handful of peanut M and M's (much bigger deal)
As for the rest of the list...well, sometimes the snacks are just taking the place of discipline!!!
I was in such a funk this past week and I was all about little food hugs.
Hold me, organic peanut butter cup. Hold me.

But (maybe this time I should use..BUTT) but - as long as I continue working out, and never go totally crazy then I enjoy the fact that I can enjoy extras. Because I know that I will not go TOO crazy and will back off to a more clean program within a few days - or as necessary.

If you all remember - the first week of my new challenge I only snacked a small amount for two days - and it was a SMALL amount - and went up a couple pounds.
So, I am happy to report that although I did over do it this weekend and really a little all week long - I am obviously owning this new weight a little more all the time because it is not so quick to fluctuate!!

It's very exciting to know I can have a life and still maintain my weight!!!

I am actually EXCITED about getting back to a more lean program tomorrow...crazy huh?
Honestly- I really do feel better when I'm eating in a clean way.

Loads of you have requested an exact food plan - so I thought I would do this...
I will blog everyday this week and list EXACTLY what I eat- every last little bite and also list my EXACT workouts, calories burned during workouts and what my weight does...or doesn't do ... for the week.
I'll add it in a summary at the end of each day so everyone won't want to poke their eyes out if reading about what I eat is not interesting to them.

I'm still so shocked and thrilled that you all want to keep reading my silly little blog entries!!
and for all of you that send such lovely comments and supportive words - thank you.
Thank you so much!
And for those of you that find any support or inspiration in my little journey - well, that mean more to me than a tight, Thassless hiney!!

I am fired up about this week- I have some things I'm excited to talk about with you all and I'm going to try my first video blog!!! So you all can see what a dork I am in real time.
It may shock you. I am a complete dork. But I'm passionate about my dorkiness.
I rock the dork.
See, only a dork would say something as absurd as "I rock the dork".

with love, enthusiasm and a broken edit button ...