Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Treadmill workout breakdown....and I pulled a SINATRA...:(

I would tell you all about my workout this morning and how great it was..
BUT I PULLED A SINATRA on myself... "Not today bay-be".

crap. Why did I do that???

got up at 5:00, got dressed, went upstairs, STARTED DVD and then told myself  "self, piss off."
I didn't even put up a fight...I thought about it - but apparently my fat girl came back from the dead and was packing heat.
My skinny girl was clearly scared into submission - thankfully she did not pee in my LuLuLemon hot pants. They are new and I can't stand the smell of urine.

Hey - that reminds me of a joke...
Q: "What nationality are you if you are tinkling?"
 A: "European!!!"

I know...hysterical, right? that one is a real crowd pleaser on the grade school circuit.

After I completely blew myself off...and keep in mind - it is still dark outside and I was already working on the computer when I should be working on my Thass... I - or "we" rather...since fat, lazy girl was back in the house..."we" went downstairs and started what turned out to be a grueling day...and much like yesterday.. I was rather blue all day long.

I've been BLASTING my KFUK internal radio talk show. I hate it when I do that...
we all know the weather report on KFUK..."Outside... it's raining. Inside...the sky is falling with a good chance of tears in the afternoon."

So tonight - I will change the station...go to bed, get some rest, wake up bright and early and give it a better go! I am nothing if not resiliant!!!!

I am a happy girl- by nature - so I'm never really sure why - on some days - Pitiful Pearl shows up and brings her boyfriend.. Captain Downside. He likes to point out all the negative aspects of my life, while Pearl nods enthusiastically. These two can bring a raucous good time to a screeching halt.
Never, I repeat - NEVER -invite them to a dinner party. Just sayin'...

I have packed their bags and called a cab to take them to the airport. I am thankful to see them go.

Sooooo - I will not burst into tears tomorrow!!!  no way , now how!!!
I may punch someone in the face if they keep stressing me out...but I won't start crying.

I wish today and yesterday had been better days...but they are no longer an issue- as they are no longer in my future. They are now part of my past.

That's the great thing about the past, don't be afraid of it and don't waste any time on it...it ain't getting any closer!!!

On a brighter note...I am still under 130...127 to be exact!!!... and will ramp up the workout tomorrow. I had a great workout Monday, skipped today (oopsie) and will rock out tomorrow...
THEN... I will fix my hair, put on some make up...slip into some little bitty jeans..and go kick some serious ass!!!!!

My goal tomorrow.. to laugh really hard at least once... to have a productive day at work... to workout and feel great...to eat clean...and to count my blessings - for they are many!

Tomorrow I will have an attitude of gratitude   -
I will be happy, positive and cheerful...and if the wheels fall off Plan A... I will move on to Plan B.
Plan B is to get drunk. 
Mildly...anyway. :)

See, I'm already smiling!!

We can all thank SUSAN B. for the below treadmill breakdown.. I can take no credit! Thought you all might enjoy it! I did!

I am also including the link to the TAM treadmill workout - which is on a Russian website, btw. We can all thank Emily D. for always posting it for us!


Honestly... I have yet to be able to successfully download the video, despite all the helpful tips from fellow TAM followers - maybe I will find some time soon to work on trying it again. 

I am currently working on understanding a torrent... yikes.

But the rest of you may have no problem with it! You probably also have no problem buying KALE and not mistaking it for turnip greens!!!

 :) again- thanks Susan!! Thanks Emily!!

Susan types....


*The class nerd in me took notes from the webisode to follow along as a guide while treadmill dancing.  If any of you would like here it is….

“No Excuses” – TA

Butt and Thigh Warm Up
Treadmill not moving – 10 reps each increasing up to 40 as you get stronger

Right Side
  • Leg Lifts:  Swing leg up and back to hip height and back down to deck, point toe on the way down and flex on the way up, return and repeat
  • Attitude Leg Lifts:  Bend knee and lift back up to hip height and return foot to deck, return and repeat
  • Leg Up & Over:  Lift leg to hip height bend knee up and over side arm of treadmill to elbow, extend leg back straight behind hip, return and repeat
  • Pulse Up & Out:  Lift leg behind hip, pulse, swoop leg out to side (half circular movement swoop out to side), return and repeat, return and repeat

Treadmill Dance
Start the treadmill and increase to a speed of 3.0 mph.  Walk a moment to get comfortable with the movement of the treadmill.   It appears she does a count of 10 on most moves before switching to the next move.  Moves do repeat.  Take the flow and build up to 40 minutes.  TA recommends starting with 15 minutes and working up from there.  Remembering 60 minutes is where she wants us to max with dance cardio.

TIP:  TA recommends holding onto the treadmill using the front and side grips until you are really comfortable.  Safety 1st and foremost.  Be careful.

  • Skip just like in the school yard
  • Skip with attitude (a little more bounce in your step and buoyancy)
  • Double skip
  • Hop and lift foot repeating same leg – then switch legs
  • Back to skipping
  • Double skip  - as you get more confident jump up to ceiling more with bounce
  • Skip
  • Hold onto side arm and front of treadmill – sache side and front
  • Sache - turn legs out and up
  • Skipping
  • Switch to other side
  • Sache – turn legs out and up (2nd position plie and up)
  • Skip
  • Leap  - Hold on front and side push up and leap legs straddle (air splits)
  • Right knee up/ skip
  • Left knee up/ skip
  • Push step (hop and push) little steps – push hips up to bar.  As you advance delay back from bar and come back forward….back and forth.
  • Skip
  • Skip Skip Double Skip
  • Side Saches – Can put arms up as you advance
  • Hop Hop Double Hop
  • Switch sides
  • Plie and up, plie and up
  • Leaps left
  • Leaps right
  • Gallop to front left
  • Gallop to front right
  • Step hops with arms up
  • Repeat starting out for 15 minutes and on up from there to the advised 40 minutes.

 I hope you all rest easy, dream of peaceful loving times and wake up tomorrow ready to get after it with me! Sorry Captain downside was in the house... hope he didn't head your way when he and Pearl left here...
Brighter Days and Smaller Thasses are ahead!

all my joy to all my friends out there in the struggle!

    "Things I wish I'd known before starting Boot Camp"...

    Hello everyone!

    How was your Thanksgiving???
    I hope it was like mine - full of family and food!

    We flew to Houston, ate - drove to Dallas....ate again, went to see our kids and grand kids..and went out... and ate.
    I was so thankful that when I finally got home my pounds gained were not....eight!!!
    Seriously...it was 1.5 pounds!!!
    Several meals, a couple of flights, a long car ride... I am feeling VERY good about my bodies efforts to maintain my boot camp results!!

    I did get up at 4:30 and workout (both PDS and cardio) the morning of Thanksgiving - yes that was a.m....and yes, it still felt like the same day as when I went to bed.
    But I was determined to not blow the lid off of 130... so I was trying to burn off a little extra before I strapped on the ole feed bag.

    I also got up at 5:30 on Friday morning and hit the hotel gym for 40 minutes of cardio before driving to Dallas.

    I was all geared up to dance in the gym and just about the time I started two guys walked in...and I chickened out! So, being the prepared Thass Whisperer that I am... I whipped out the never tried before TAM treadmill workout. This was courtesy of SUSAN!!! As she had typed out all the moves and I printed it out. THANK YOU SUSAN!! you rock! (you can find Susan's typed out treadmill workout guide on TAM's FB page)

    So I skipped, sashayed, hopped and leaped all over the treadmill.

    I caught both the guys checking out my rather unorthodox workout. Or maybe they were just checking out me and my Thassless hotness ... OR... wanting to ask for my autograph, but not wanting to interrupt my workout... ok, we have clearly slipped into brain movie. Starting with hotness... they were looking at me ONLY because I looked like I was filming a scene from "The Sound Of Music" at 5:30 am on a hotel treadmill.

    When I went to leave, one of the guys pulled his earphones off and said..." That was the happiest , little treadmill workout I've ever seen!"
    I simply smiled and said "Well, I'm  happy girl!"
    Btw, I was sweating more than he was...he wouldn't have lasted ten minutes doing  "my happy, little workout" !!!! Go TAM!!!!

    So - MARK IT DOWN PEOPLE... Thanksgiving, travel, snacks, and family...all leaving only 1.5 pounds!!!! Which one pound of already fell back off. This rocks!

    As everyone asks me the same question..." Can you maintain the results?" - I'm saying - HECK Ya, you can!

    Now... I have had multiple requests for any Boot Camp tips!
    (I know, I know...give a girl a blog and she thinks she's some kind of expert...)
    So ... here we go... boot camp tips, from the "by the book" girl!

    I might add...the main portion of today's blog may not be all that exciting to anyone uninterested in trying boot camp or any Tracy Anderson Method... but I do think some of the tips would be applicable to all workout programs...so, sorry if it's boring!!!!

    (and other helpful hints from my experience of 30 days in the TAM world)

    1. Everything Tracy says will happen - happens.

    Period. End of story. She was spot on about all of it. Not that this should surprise us... but when you are reading it and she says you will feel "flu like" symptoms...you will feel "flu like" symptoms.
    When she says it will work... it will work.
    When she tells you to step touch for certain amounts of time - do it.
    Etc, Etc, Etc....
    And the best part...when she tells you you will be amazed with your results... you will be amazed. I was, anyway!
    I mention this first- because I think it's important to know that it will all happen- so you can mentally prepare for the good and the bad.

    2. There are different exercises in the BC book than on the BC DVD.

    I have no idea how such a large oversight in continuity happened - but it did, and it's not the end of the world.  I choose to follow the moves on the DVD. I'm sure either would work - but save yourself a little amount of frustration by knowing that they are different from time to time - and just pick one (book or DVD) and follow it. They all will make you scream with pain!!!! and they will all be effective.

    3. Make a play list!!!!!!!

    I know Tracy mentions this - I am simply reiterating and clarifying... that it saved me!
    Tracy had techno music in the background- which some of you may love...but it's not my thing - so I put on the dance cardio DVD the night before I started and went thorough my ipod looking for songs that matched the tempo, then burned them to a CD.
    I played this CD everyday while doing my cardio  and it really kept me moving.
    It also helped to add new songs every five days or so to keep my interest since the dance moves are very repetitive.
    I listed several of my favorite songs in a blog entry somewhere around Day 16 - it says "playlist included" in the title, if you want to check it out!

    4. Understand that the cardio DVD is a little weird to follow at first...

    You will also realize sooner than later what it is she is wanting you to really move and work with each move...that also helps as you become more familiar with her method.
    There is a reason for each and every move!!

    5. Buy a THICK yoga mat.

    It saved my knees. a regular one would not have been enough for me. I found a thick one at Academy Sports... they should be easy to locate.
    They are right next to the ankle weights.... which leads me to my next tip...

    6. Feel free to save yourself a couple of bucks - probably no need to buy those ankle weights!!!!

    After reading the book - I read where "once you work up to 60 reps on each move, you can add ankle weights." So, I bought ankle weights.
    HA! HAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! LMAO!!!! They are still in the box.

    Now...you may be an Olympic Athlete and may very well need those ankle weights... but I personally, I did not quite ever get to 60 reps each!!!! By the very end I worked up to 50 reps in series three...on day 29!! Another 10 reps would have taken my workout to just under 4 hours...
    if you need ankle weights during Boot Camp- call me, I will send you mine!!!  :)
    I will say that you might need them for her other DVD's after boot camp...but I have yet to meet anyone who needed them for BC!!!

    7. GET MEASURED and pinched for body fat BEFORE you start!!!! and TAKE BEFORE PICTURES!!!

    Trust me - if you do nothing else...measure yourself!!! The weight loss may slow down at times and it is a wonderful secondary way to monitor progress. and take before pictures- even if you plan on them being for "your eyes only"- you will not believe the difference and you will be glad you have them!!
    Since you are looking at yourself everyday- it's easy to forget just how far you've come in such a short time and this can really keep you going when you are frustrated and wanting to give up!
    I took measurements every ten days and weighed every day -and for me, the majority of my weight loss was in the first ten days (9 pounds) -after that it was only 3 pounds for the second and third 10 day sections. However... inches lost was MORE during second and third sections... so it was fun to have that to motivate me when the scale wasn't being very active. Looking back now, I would have taken more before photos and taken them each 10 day period along with my measurements.

    8. Read ALL the book before you start. ALL of it...

    I had a friend who skimmed MOST of it , but got horrible shin splints when she started her cardio because she missed the little part about how to ease yourself into the cardio depending on current fitness levels. Things like that can really change your experience.
    It also helps to understand how the individual exercises are to be performed properly if you read the small captions and grey highlighted areas in the book. I choose to read those on the first two days of each mat work section.

    9. Read 2 or 3 pages of the book every night throughout BC.

    I would open my book each night and literally skim one, two or three pages - whatever - before going to bed. This helped keep me focused and the little bits I would read always seemed to make more sense to me as I was in the throws of it and understood what Tracy was talking about more than when I read it before I had started the boot camp.

    10. KEEP A CALENDAR!!!!!

    This turned out to be a HUGE deal for me...
    I started a dry erase calendar so I could give myself a big "X" each day I completed my perfect day...half an X for finishing workout - the other half of the X when I finished the day of eating by the book. But what I didn't not realize when I started was how helpful the little notes I made to myself would ultimately become.
    I jotted down "felt great", "thought I would die" , "cardio hard, mat work do-able", "please shoot me" , what ever applied to that day's workout,,,along with my weight and how many reps, etc...
    After about 10 days - I started noticing a pattern...which continued on through out the 30 days.
    When it got really hard- the next day would be really hard again, and then the next would be SO MUCH EASIER! Knowing I could expect that helped... a lot!

    It also never failed that it was after the REALLY tough days- I mean REALLY tough...that I would see big drops in weight, push through platues, or kick down a wall.
    So - keeping a calendar really helped me understand what my body could do, would do, and to see the patterns....
     as you can see -
    1. I have "day 7" "day 8", etc...
    2. weight and (-how many down)
    3. upper right corner - #of reps / cardio segments
    then uner I would rate it 1-10 on difficulty level
    4. middle right - start times of cardio / muscle work, then total time
    5. total calories burned
    6 . how I felt that day during workout or any other notes about day....

    It was lots of fun to see the X's all start piling up!!!!

    It was like a game I played each day to get my "X"!!!
    You can also use it as motivation to stay on track. If you can't get your workout in for some reason - you could still earn half of an X by sticking to the food plan, or vice versa.... if you stray with your food, you can still earn a half X by getting your workout in that day. I know it's silly, but every little mental trick helps when you are needing motivation!

    11. I used my laptop, not a DVD player.

    Only because I didn't have a TV in my space I set up - but I ended up loving it - because I could put it closer to me and that made it easier to PAUSE in between all the moves.
    As well as, put the laptop on the floor during abs, etc so I could still see while on the floor.
    Some of the moves... I wish I hadn't seen!!!

    12. if you work or have kids....Start on a Friday....NOT A MONDAY!!!

    Why? Because I had to actually cancel a few meetings on the first two days -Monday and Tuesday because I was so nauseous and sore and "flu like" that I felt drugged and couldn't put sentences together... not great for conducting business...or watching kids!!!!
    So if you can... start on a Friday - then you can be "stupid" , nap or work on groceries and get acclimated to the plan over the weekend, rather than during the week.
    Ship the kids to your moms, or ask your husband to watch them and let yourself get used to the shock and awe!!! It does get better... but I felt AWFUL for almost a week!! just sayin'...

    13. OR... Start the program  the evening before your "first day"....

    Since I was determined to do 30 days... by the book... I had to finish strong on day 30, which meant complete the entire day... when day thirty came- I wished I had started the evening before day 1 so that come 5:00pm on day 30..I would have been done with boot camp and could have gone to celebrate!
    I know that sounds silly- but it was anti-climactic to wake up on day 31 and say - " I'm done!"... I would have rather said it at 7:00pm the night before with friends and a glass of wine!!!

    14. Don't break the seal...

    Like I've said before - Once you start "making exceptions" to the boot camp plan it will become more and more difficult to go back to NOT making little exceptions. Challenge yourself to go 30 days - 20 days - 10 days - or even 1 day - without making any exceptions to the rules! It really pays off and is only once in your life- and only for thirty days!!! You can do it - and I really think it effects your results. If you're going to do this - THEN DO IT! Make it count!!! You're doing it for you, so do it with the same effort you would do it if you were doing it for your friends or family...I bet if you were doing it for your children or spouse, or your boss... you would do exactly like by the book. This time- do it for YOU!

    15. Be realistic (or maybe I should say aware) about the amount of time it will take to complete the workouts...

    It's my opinion that you should plan on 2 hours a day - whether you break it up into two times or knock it out at once... but I can't figure out how anyone would get through it faster and do all of it...?
    I know Tracy says to plan on 1- 1.5 hours, but it always took me longer to complete.
    It's VERY possible that I was just so damn out of shape that I had to collapse so often that it padded the time... but as my stamina grew, then I increased my reps (read: added more time) then I increased time to my cardio (read: added more time) so towards the end...I was staring 2.5 to 3.5 hours of workout time in the face!!!!
    I can tell you this... it's a genius plan... because once you get through 3 - 3.5 hours a day - then your regular 1 - 1.5 hours seems like a leisurely stroll!!!!!!
    Seriously- the muscle work and dance cardio I do now take almost 1.5 - 2 hours and it FLIES by - piece of cake!!! It seems soooooo easy compared to Boot Camp.

    16. GET NEW SHOES!!!

    Again - nothing new- it's covered in the book - but it's important for your shins, knees and it also helps you to have "skin in the game" if you shell out a few bucks in preparation for the new you! But... save money for new jeans- you'll need them!

    17. Know that when it gets REALLY hard... that's when the changes to your body occur ....

    So use that as motivation!! Looking back on my calendar - all my biggest changes happened the day after I thought I was going to keel over and not get through a workout, and or , was SO hungry the night before and wanted to - correction...would have killed to...have a snack or cheat a little. But I never did and I truly believe that is what made the difference in my results. I have lots of friends that did this plan in a "modified" version - and they have all had great results! But the real shocking change comes when you really stick to it for thirty days - like Tracy tells you to- it's worth it!!!!
    Why do all this and then have to wonder what would have happened if you had done it by the book?
    I know life gets in the way and things pop up that cause bumps in any plan... but do the best you can- whatever that means to you - and you will be glad you did!!

    18. go Boy Scout on your self.... and BE PREPARED!!!...

     Always think ahead - have lemon water (or regular water) with you whenever possible, take your afternoon snack with you or even your dinner if you're going
    to be away from the house, etc. It was having my food with me when I needed to eat that saved me!
    Whether I was dragging a turkey patty into a friends baby shower or sneaking lemon water and berries into the movie... it all made a huge difference in me not missing a snack or meal, and not feeling like I was deprived. Plus- this workout schedule is grueling.. if you miss a meal or snack then you will not have the fuel to get through a workout the next day...plus you will tend to be more prone to cheat on the food plan due to excessive hunger / low blood sugar if you aren't prepared.
    Not to mention- this plan is geared to "re-set" your metabolism - so eating what Tracy tells you WHEN Tracy tells you is also key... keep the fires burning...which keeps the fat melting, muscles building and Thass lifting!!!!

    19. Make yourself accountable to someone else...

    It really helped me to know that I had to report how my 30 days were coming along to my friends and family...and to all of YOU!!! It is exactly why I started the blog. Never imaging ANYONE would care to read it - I just needed to put it out there!!!
    and then look what happened... "If you Blog it ...they will come!"... btw, it still thrills me to no end that you all read my blog. You can't imagine how it thrills me! Thank you so much!!!!
    Blogging might not be for everyone, because it was a major time commitment - but you can always send out a daily email to a couple friends with an update..or post it on TAM Facebook page or any place you would hate to have to "fess up to a mess up"!!!!

    20. Lastly... if you re not familiar with Kale...ask someone at the store which leafy dark green it is!!!!

    ...OR you might end up chocking down turnip green juice, like I did!!!!! YUCK!!!!

    I hope these help you a little bit!!!
    Also - you may find it helpful to go back to the first entry of my blog and follow along as you go through the thirty days. At least you will know someone else struggled and survived and ... let em be your Ghost of Christmas future!!!
    If I can help any of you - I would love to do so - just send me your comments or questions and I'll sure try and answer them...again... I'm no expert, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

    Give it hell out there!!!!
    I'm going to go workout!!!

    Talk to you tomorrow...and MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY HOLIDAYS everyone - I love this time of year, and will make it through to the New Year...under 130 pounds!!!


    Thursday, November 25, 2010


    I wanted to wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving!
    I hope everyone is spending time with friends and family and are enjoying warm meals and warm hearts!

    Speaking of warm...
    last night I almost started a kitchen fire making Banana Nut bread and Zucchini bread from scratch. oopsie.
    James helped me put out the molten lava banana nut drippings that were overflowing from the pans and bursting into flames and after an hour of cleaning...we were back in the baking business.
    Although they aren't traditional Thanksgiving offerings, I thought they would be nice for breakfast tomorrow so our hostess would not have to cook.

    I, however, will be having air for breakfast tomorrow...maybe served with a side of cardio.
    For I'm sure the sodium I will digest today will have me puffed out like a Macy's day parade float.

    Oh...and I'm flying this morning, too!!! Not a good combo.
    And let me tell you something... if I don't get a full body pat down - I'm gonna be PISSED.
    Hey- I'm married, I look forward to the little thrills.
    Don't judge me.

    I'll probably make them feel my abs while they are there!
    Quick- feel them! Before I puff up!!!

    Here are some fun THANKSGIVING TRIVIA, FACTS and QUOTES for you all to enjoy!
    (and no, i did not know these things,... I copied them off the Internet) :)

    • It is thought that the Native American Indians out numbered the Plymouth colonists nearly two to one on the first Thanksgiving which lasted for three days.
    • The Wampanoag Native American Indians shared an autumn harvest feasts with the Plymouth colonists in 1621 that is known today as one of the first Thanksgiving celebrations.
    • In the middle of the Civil War, 16th President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed Thanksgiving Day to be a national holiday.
    • Contrary to popular belief, even though wild turkeys were around during the first Thanksgiving feast, they were not served.
    • Instead, the Native American Indians and Plymouth colonists feasted on various seafood, deer, corn, eggs, squash, spices, popcorn and squashed cranberries.
    Here are some quotes!!!

    “Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.” -Kevin James

    “I love Thanksgiving turkey. It’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.” -Arnold Schwarzenegger

    The pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts… nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving.” -H. W. Westermayer

    “There is no sincerer love than the love of food.” -George Bernard Shaw 

    “I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.” –Jon Stewart

    “Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.” –Michael Dresser

    And this one goes out to  DENISE DEL R....
    she said she was so motivated that she might start her new boot camp diet- you guessed it - today!
    So, Denise- give it hell, girl! I believe in you and this quote is for you!...

     “An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.” –Irv Kupcinet

    This year, I am thankful that I have LESS boo-tay ...and MORE friends!
    You guys are the best!

    I am wishing you all laughter, full bellies and lots of love...and men that do dishes!!!

    Please be safe if you are traveling...
    Happy Thassgiving...I mean Thanksgiving!!!


    Wednesday, November 24, 2010

    PICTURES!!! 3 weeks after Boot Camp... before and after!

    Well, you asked for it .. you got it!!!!

    They aren't great - one of these days I'll get James or someone to help me take some pictures that aren't me with no make up and an I phone camera in the mirror...

    Sadly- I also forgot to take pictures this morning...so these are from tonight and I have a belly full of dinner!!!  :)

    and I am not trying to avoid posting a photo of my THASS...it's just really hard to take a picture of your own behind! I guess I'm happy to report that until this adventure ... I never knew that.
    Before Tracy Anderson danced her way into my life... I would have not DARED take a picture of my hiney.
    It would have destroyed the image I carried around in my mind.

    I woke up this morning...weight was 126! Actually - almost 125.5...crazy.

    So.... IT'S THREE WEEKS AFTER BOOT CAMP -and I am at same weight or a tiny bit less and a tiny bit smaller!!!!!
    go figure....
    I am enjoying my workouts, enjoying my food and have lots of room to have little treats...

    I guess what I'm trying to say is... the results are something you can maintain!!!

    A few pics are in workout clothes.
    Some are in the "size 26" jeans I bought during boot camp...which are now starting to get a little baggy in the butt!!
    and lastly - a before and after shot of me in the exact same pair of cut off  shorts... that one is really terrifying !!!!! If that one doesn't motivate you... not sure what will!
    It sure as heck motivates me!!!

    Again - sorry for the lame photography...but I guess it's better than nothing!!!!
     Not sure why my eyes look like I have been abducted by aliens and made into a snake lady???? How hysterical is this picture?? I am taking my own picture with an iphone in the mirror!!! What a loser!! hahahah! I am my own paparazzi!!!!! In my brain movie- I could have just walked outside my house and all the photographers hiding in the bushes could have jumped out and snapped my pics for me!
    But I do have cute boots on though, huh?
     These are the size 26 jeans... and they aren't even stretch jeans! and believe it or not... they are starting to get a tiny bit loose in the waste and butt. The first time I wore them they cut off the circulation to my feet.
    and again... the crazy part is - the WAY they fit is changing as I continue working out...
    They are getting more loose in "problem areas"...which is a good thing!
     Although my tummy is full of dinner - you can still see I have a "V' ab starter kit!!! When I'm really lean and in the mornings - on an empty stomach, it's much more visible!!! "V" stands for "Victory"....
    and "Vagina" and "Viagra" and "Versace" and all kinds of things that can make you feel GREAT!
                                                                        No muffin top!!!

     There she is ladies and gentlemen...the THASS!!!!! sorry- hard to take a picture of your own backside! But there is clearly beginning to be a division between "church and state" (read: Thighs and Ass are STARTING to go back to their rightful regions) A complete separation will take a long time...but I'm ON IT!
    Hips have become so much smaller !!!! Only problem now is when I walk there is a little chunk of fat on the side of my hips that squishes out to the side with each step...super annoying!!! You can't see it when I'm standing straight... but when I walk it's like a damn hand puppet talking!!!! I'm comin' after you, little fat wads!!!!! If TAM doesn't work... then I'm getting out a pair of scissors. Just sayin'...
     My arm's are staying toned - even though the muscle work is WAY easier now that boot camp is over!
        Don't worry.. I have a license to carry GUNS!!  haahh! I'm cracking myself up tonight! How can you all even tolerate reading my none sense??? :)
    excuse me.... is that a ...? no, it can't be....a MUSCLE in my THIGH??????? oh, yes - it - is!!!!
    HA! who would have ever thought it possible! Score one for the over 40 year olds!!!
    I've never had a visible thigh muscle- EVER.
    PS- yes, I know I look like a dork...but I promised pictures - I clearly need a tri-pod!

     and here is THE REAL SHOCKER..... BEFORE TAM shot in my cut offs....
                                                     SAME pair of shorts...AFTER TAM !!!!!!!!
                                                   I guess that's what 22" off a body looks like....

     Well, although I am not walking around thinking I am little miss rockin' bod... because trust me - there are lots of "issues" that I am purposefully not featuring on the Internet... I do feel MUCH better about myself.
    I feel toned in a way I never have before.
    I feel strong and muscular...but not bulky.
    I feel lean and more compact.

    My skin is starting to (starting being the key word) return to my muscles....at least a little!!
    and my cellulite is better...still there, but SO much better!
    and lastly, my Thass is beginning to once again become a thigh and an ass. Not a mutant hybrid.

    The last three mentioned will be a work in progress for quite some time - but I'm up for the challenge!
    It will be interesting to chart their improvement (hopeful improvement) over the year as I continue to maintain a consistent weight and consistent exercise program.

    Most importantly I am learning that it CAN be maintained.
    It will ebb and flow a little, because - well, that's life...and I actually have one!!!

    Now let's sail right through tomorrow like it was and any other Thursday...


    1. Try to get a workout in in the morning...(if you can) it will make you feel better.

    That will help you "PAY IN CASH" - rather than charging it to your body's credit card and having to pay it off later.

     You are probably cooking and killing yourself to make it a perfect holiday for EVERYONE else...so try and take a little time for yourself! Ask for help...you might just be surprised that you'll get some...if you don't , send your ungrateful family to McDonalds for a "McThanksgiving Day McFeast" and see how they like THAT!!

    2. Try and focus on what Thanksgiving Day is really all about.
    Family and friends - and being thankful for what we have in our lives.
    If we shift our focus to "filling up" on family and friends...we won't focus as much on food.

    3. Portions, portions, portions!!!... ask yourself if you are satisfied...and then be satisfied!
    You are making choices everyday. Tomorrow is just another day with a much larger lunch/dinner!

    It is YOUR CHOICE - so make your choice and then ENJOY your choice, no matter what it might be. If YOU CHOOSE to not stuff yourself until you are sick, you are not being deprived, you are being impowered.

    You will be the one who feels good after wards and doesn't feel sick. You will be the one who saved room for a little sliver of pie and YOU will be the one who made that choice.
    Don't let yourself tell yourself that you "can't have that" - because you CAN have it.
    When you say " I can't have that" you are removing all your own power - and placing yourself in a victim mindset.
    Try saying to yourself.." I can have anything I want...and what I want is to feel great and look great - so I'm going to choose to only indulge a little".
    It can really make a difference in how you look at things... and how you look IN things...like swim suits and jeans!!!! :)

    so , in a nut shell...


    Have an amazing Thanksgiving, everyone!!!
    I am thankful for all of you and the support you've given me.
    I truly mean that.


    Monday, November 22, 2010

    MEASURED again today and....I'm GETTING SMALLER!!!!!!

    Can you believe that????  I'm actually a little smaller than the day I finished Boot Camp!!!

    I jumped up first thing this morning... let Stevie out to tinkle, let myself do the same and headed to the scale.
    Yesterday I walked over to it like a dog walks when they know they are in trouble ...slow and with my head down, a little afraid of what might happen next.

    Today I kind of hopped right on it - I was feeling "lean " again after my recovery day on Sunday.

    And there it was folks... 127!
    So - two days of "extra yum" came off in one day of cleaning it up!
    I was thrilled to know that was the case.

    Then something REALLY amazing happened this afternoon...
    Joel, my trainer friend I've told you all about - he came over to help me with a tweak in my knee - and we decided to go ahead and pinch and measure again...

    Can you believe that?????
    I couldn't!!!
    Both my arms were smaller and my thighs and hips!!!!
    MY tummy was a tiny bit higher - but barely! like 1.5 mm.
    All in all - he said it could take my body fat to somewhere in the 15% range...the upper end of it - but it was possible!

    So, I am currently higher in weight than boot camp final by one pound...but total skin fold pinch test and measurements show me being smaller!!! Barely - but smaller, none the less.

    I'll post all measurements as soon as Joel sends them to me.

    and... I PROMISE to post more "after" pictures, since so many of you have requested them!

    My plan is to get measured and pinched about once a month to monitor how things change over the year.

    But this is really exciting news ladies!!! (and gentlemen!!!)

    It means - it CAN be maintained.. and even improved upon!


    I completed BC on November 3rd. Weighing 126 - but only reached 126 the on day 29!
    I lost 20" off my body, 15 pounds and body fat went to all time low (by a LONG shot) of 16%.

    The week following  BC I exercised VERY little and slowly but surely ate more and more - mostly in the way of snacking at night.

    My weight increased a tiny bit each day - peaking after a week at about 131-132 (which was still an amazing loss from start of BC -141)

    Within 3 days of cleaning things up - no snacking at night - and doing my workouts (DC and PDS I)
    I was back to 127.
    I feel strongly that some of that weight gain the week after was water retention - which would be hard to avoid coming off the cleanse.

    This weekend I snacked a little more (a couple of brownies, a little pizza, few bites of this and that, etc) for two days in a row - but kept it pretty clean- and did about 45 minutes of cardio - and went to 129.5. WAY TOO CLOSE to 130.

    That went back down to 127 after one day of clean eating.

    I measured and pinched today and was DOWN from the end of BC!
    so there you have it ladies...

    This CAN be done!!
    and while having a life...

    Some of my Nashville friends are already concerned that I won't be able to have fun on some up coming trips and outings... don't you worry friends...
    I have every intention of flying my freak flag at full mast from time to time...
    I'll just earn the right to do it in advance.

    From this point on ...I'm saving cash before I spend it...what a concept. Burning calories and eating clean is the way to build up a "savings".
    No more swipe now, pay later.
    Because "charging it" and thinking I would pay it off soon left my body with it's own form of credit card debt (aka: the Thass and old man skin) so - no more.

    In this economy - cash is KING.

    And a bootie that is lifting (SWARE it is!) and cellulite that is getting better (SWARE it is!) and little bitty jeans that still fit and are getting more loose (SWARE they are!) ...
    well, that makes me want to say to Tracy... "Long live the QUEEN!"

    Pictures tomorrow. along with actual numbers from Joel!

    and welcome Jill!!!!! She's weighing in at 135 and is joining the challenge of staying under 135 for a year!!!!! LOVE THAT! So much more fun to have a buddy!
    Keep us posted Jill, and I will keep everyone posted!

    It makes you stop and think before you eat when you have to tell all your peeps you did it!
    Trust me... I know.

    Anyone else want a piece a this??? COME ON!!
    We can have a weekly check in for anyone that wants to jump in with us and I can post your progress...???? Could be fun!

    My love and support goes out to you all!!

    I may go strain my neck trying to look at my own behind in the mirror.


    PS - PDS II was soooooo much better today - I think I was just cranky yesterday when I was complaining about the editing.
    It could be improved upon a little...but apparently so could my attitude. :)

    I'm choosing to blame it on the fat girl in me.
    She was upset to find out the DVD's just keep on coming...she was counting on not enough content and me getting bored with TAM... no such luck, tubby.

    Sunday, November 21, 2010

    EXACT plan I am following for my POST boot camp...


    So last week (and I am going to continue this week)
    I am following a very simple plan of cardio, muscle work and lots of boot camp recipes.

    I am mixing and matching recipes - and then this weekend I had lots of bites of this, that and the other - kind of experimenting with what I could eat and what would be too much and ultimately effect my weight.

    Today I resumed the clean eating after ALMOST going to 130...129.5.

    Here are my thoughts on the post boot camp workouts...
    muscle work is WAY easier - I mean WAY easier than BC's.
    cardio is WAY more difficult - I mean WAY more difficult than BC's.
    I may feel differently about it as I get to know the moves more.. but for now - being two weeks out from day 30 ...that's how I feel about them both...but am enjoying them both and can't wait to keep it up!


    60 minutes** DANCE CARDIO I & BOOT CAMP CARDIO ( a mix)
    5-6 days a week

    I am currently TRYING to learn my way through Dance Cardio I.
    I was very frustrated when I first put it on because I struggled learning it. You cannot imagine how ridiculous I looked. That part - I really don't care about - as long as it is effective.
    In the interest of time and getting in a good solid cardio workout - I brought boot camp cardio back in the mix and decided to learn one segment at a time and add it to my fifty minutes of BC cardio.
    I continue to learn segments and perform them - thus reducing the amount of time I dance to the BC routine.
    ** sometimes I do not do a complete hour- but always try for at least 45- 50. Usually 60 mins.**


    5-6 days a week

    I am following the "change the DVD every ten days" plan with PDS.
    I just went to DVD 2 today - and although I find it very hard to follow because of poor editing and camera work, and not really enough talking ques - it is going to turn out to be a favorite, I think!! But I will have to get through the frustration of piecing it together until I understand exactly what I'm to do for each move.

    I LOVE her method... I do NOT love Tracy's production company - or whomever is responsible for quality control of the videos. It could be GREATLY improved upon. But ultimately I don't care - I will work through it and be thankful for them!

    I am obviously a devotee now and I completely believe in this method - I think it is utterly GENIUS.
    I am not trying to slam anything about it - quite the opposite... I'm merely pointing this out because it seems like a lot of people complain about it and if you find yourself struggling after boot camp with these videos, it will get easier - hang in there!

    It was a large part of my frustration the first week off boot camp.
    But I made up my hybrid plan until I could learn new dance videos and muscle work!!

    I LOVED the PDS I section - and felt it was easier to follow than part II.

    I also struggled at first because it seemed SO EASY compared to Boot Camp Muscle work....
    if for no other reason than it was something that could be completed in an hour!!!! It made me feel at first like I wasn't doing "enough".
    Now-I'm realizing it is absolutely enough - and thank goodness, because who would ever be able to do 3.5 hours a day - NOT ME!! That was only during boot camp - and it was TOUGH to get that in...

    I actually think I am seeing MORE results after last week... hard to believe - but I think I am!

    I am going to rotate the PDS for a while and then probably try out different Muscle work DVD's from Tracy. (Unless she bans me for suggesting the editing could be improved!!!) :)

    I am hoping that one day, 4 days a week would be sufficient to maintain - but we will have to cross that bridge when we get there.

    Because I am trying to keep my new weight for over one year - and especially because it is a new low for me - I'm going to have to stay a little more hard core about my eating and working out until I can get a little further away from 130 pounds... I'm a little too close for comfort right now !!!

    I'll keep you posted as I truck along - what is enough, what isn't, etc!!

    More on this tomorrow - I'm going to hit the biscuit and go to sleep!!!

    CLOSE CALL! and Kale...the saga continues...

    I am assuming most of you have seen the movie The Matrix.
    Or, at least the previews...?
    So you know the classic Matrix scene where the guy bends over backwards in slow motion and the bullet whizzes past him...

    well, today at 6:30 am ...that guy was me!
    I dodged a bullet this morning... and I mean BARELY dodged a bullet.
    Weighing in at...wait for it...129.5!!!!
    Waaaaaaaayyyyyy too close for comfort.

    As you can imagine - I was laughing hysterically at HOW CLOSE I came to having to cough up a "pass" -one week into this gig. I would have been very displeased.

    Looks like I've learned two things for now -

    1. At my current metabolism / weight - I can add a little extra to my diet ...but ONLY for two days in a row. Otherwise I've got a problem.
    2.  I can live in the same house as homemade brownies...but ONLY for two days in a row. Otherwise I've got a problem.

    I do have a message for the brownies...
    Suck it, brownies
    ...and meet your new friend, Mr. Garbage Disposal.
    Now, is Mr. Garbage Disposal the appliance under the sink... or a my husband James?... I'll never tell.
    Either way - the brownies aren't going down my hatch!

    I immediately began drinking water this morning, I had fruit for breakfast, even though I prepared a large Sunday breakfast for everyone else...Belgium Waffles, scrambled eggs and bacon.

    Bacon...there's trouble in strip form, for ya.

    Something THAT delicious and THAT salty could only come from ONE animal... a pig.
    Needless to say - I passed on the bacon this morning.

    I have eaten REALLY well today - drank a lot of lemon water and am about to go do my workout...ugh.
    But... it's kind of fun, if you think about it...
    The plan is working!!! Making my goal to not break 130 has been effective in stopping me from going off the deep end...so far, anyway!

    I had one brownie, not two. or in the past...four.
    I had two pieces of thin crust pizza with veggies on them and made a salad from the BC meal plan to go with it, rather than having three or four pieces.
    I made great meal choices while eating out - kept it clean on my plate...and then ate a few fries and a few bites of pasta of my God daughters plates!!! (Thanks girls, for sharing!) But... I only nibbled a little - all the while aware of keeping it reasonable.

    One main difference in the treats I enjoyed...well, I enjoyed them.
    There wasn't a bunch of guilt attached, simply an awareness.

    I am excited about my new lifestyle approach to maintain my results.

    It is merely a more disciplined version of what I have been doing for years, and I'm enjoying it!

    Several people have emailed me and asked for an exact list of what I am doing as a "plan" - I am more than happy to give them a detailed report of what I'm doing - and I will post it following this in a separate entry. I hope it helps!

    KALE...the sage continues....

    OK... is everyone sitting down?? are you ready to laugh at me?? I mean really - for the first time - understand the depths to my geekiness???

    So, I 'm at Whole Foods tonight getting my supplies for my food plan for this week and I'm looking for endive when I overhear someone say..."Oh, here it is. I found the kale"
    Since we all know how I feel about Kale, simply hearing the word immediately got my attention - I turn around and watch - in what seemed like slow motion - this woman grab a leafy veggie that CLEARLY was NOT Kale.
    I paused and looked up at the signs posting the prices of Kale and it's associate green buddies and in my mind I heard her again..."Oh, here it is. I found the Kale." She just sounded so confident.

    I turned and found a very nice man that worked in the produce department and asked him a very simple question..." Excuse me, what is this vegetable called? "
    (Now, keep in mind I was pointing to the Kale I had purchased several times during boot camp to make my juice that was so vile)
    and this fine gentlemen replies...
    "Those are turnip greens, ma'am".

    I almost dropped my basket!!!!!!

    I thought the turnip greens were Kale and I was chocking down TURNIP GREEN JUICE!!!!!!

    What a loser I am!!!!

    Oh, I couldn't WAIT to share that little nugget with all of you.

    turnip green juice!!!

    Well, by goodness - I'm going to try Kale juice again..for the first time, actually- what ever.
    That might explain why so many people like it and I thought it tasted like ass.

    I want to formerly apologize to Kale and Tracy and whomever suggested it in the first place.
    Turns out the problem wasn't Kale ..it was ME!!
    Can't blame the juice when the juice maker is as dumb as a box of turnip greens!!!!

    I'll let you know what I think when I finally get THE CORRECT VEGETABLE!!!!!

    I'll let you know tomorrow where the weight rebounded to after a good, clean eating day today mixed with a little exercise!

    and lastly... I feel compelled to respond to my dear friend Barbara's accusation that I am as bad a "food pusher" as any grandma, mother or family member that any of you will run into over the holidays.
    Well, Barbara...you're exactly right!!!!
    I am THE WORST in the world about trying to feed people!!!!
    But I come by it honestly.
    I come form a long line of feeders.
    My mother is a feeder. Her mother was a feeder...well, you get the idea.

    "Hello, my name is Laura and I am a feeder."
     "Hello, Laura"

    Fight the good fight this week everyone!!!!

    I hate to say this prematurely... BUT ... I SWARE I am seeing even more results since boot camp! ... skin is tightening and cellulite is getting better...and BUTT IS LIFTING!!!!
    More on that over the next couple of days... maybe with some pictures to help motivate you through the holiday!!!! The results are maintainable!... and they are improving!
    go figure.

    staying under 130 pounds...
    for over 365 days...


    Saturday, November 20, 2010

    Post Boot Camp survival guide and TAM cliff notes...

    If you happen to be a new reader or follower...

    First of all - WELCOME! and please make yourself at home, look around, help yourself to anything-
    I am thrilled you are here!
    Secondly - I am from Texas and we are the hospitable type...so - "What can I get ya?" something to drink? A brownie?
    please take a brownie...please take them all.
    If there is a God in heaven you will TAKE THE DAMN BROWNIES!!
    ahhhh.... the little chocolate foot soldiers of Satin...sitting in my kitchen.
    yes, they are still there.

    ok... moving on

    If you are currently on the TAM program , or thinking about being on the TAM program- that's great news!

    If you are not...then I suspect you are asking yourself...what is a TAM?
    What is a Thass? 
    What is BC, DC 1, DC II,  PDS..??? These are commonly referred to on the TAM FB page...
    and I will be using them to describe my workouts as I attempt to thwart the return of the Thass.

    It occurred to me when I was beginning to write out my current plan and One year survival guide - so I thought I better spell it out for any newcomers or non-Tracy Anderson addicts so they could understand and I wouldn't be forced to spell it out in long hand for the rest of the year.

    When I first stumbled into the TAM world I was VERY confused by all the abbreviations and lingo.
    It was odd to read so many acronyms -I got on the Tracy Anderson FB page and it read something like this...
    "I'm doing DC II followed by PDS, but haven't tried BC yet."


    I didn't know what that meant so in an effort to be cool I responded..."Oh, yah, awesome - I'm gonna start with R2D2 and then rock out some C3P0, maybe add a little WD40 if I'm not too tired."

    yah... I was confused- but I know a little more now. emphasis on "little".
    I think I can now de-code it for you...

    so please get out a pen and paper, and yes- this will be on the quiz.

    Let's start with the obvious -
    FB page = Facebook Page... If you did not know that one, well then - please let me be the first to congratulate you on the miraculous recovery from your extended coma. Welcome back to the living. A lot has changed...

    TAM  = Tracy Anderson Method
    Tracy is a trainer to the stars that helped re-shape the hineys, arms, legs and abs of Ubber -celebrities Madonna, Gywneth Paltrow and Laura Stroud. (Laura became a ubber celebrity while you were in your coma - ok... FINE! she's only famous in her own brain movie)
    Tracy discovered a method of activating the smaller muscles in the body through specific muscle work and cardio exercise that she claims can change ANY woman's body to look like a "dancers body"- no matter the genetic misfortunes.

    BC = Boot Camp
    Tracy's most recent book that includes specific directions to follow for thirty days (muscle work, food plan and dance cardio) with the promise of a solid foundation to get your perfect body.
    (btw, it works! btw, btw= by the way)

    If you didn't know "btw"... well, then OMG -I'm LMAO at you. :)

    DC= Dance Cardio
    Dance Cardio - the cardio component to her "method" - which includes dancing in a specific way as to move the muscles to create a lean look without bulk and burn fat....and get the saggy skin to return to the muscle. (that last one is a lofty goal...but I'm a dreamer...and I really want her to be right about this one)

    DC I, II = Dance Cardio one, two etc...
    DC I and DC II are available for purchase on DVD...past that there are mentions of DC's up to and including  DC VIII - I have TRIED to find them and SO FAR I have discovered the where abouts of Amelia Earhart and something that  appears to be The Holy Grail (pending carbon date testing) but I cannot find more Cardio DVD's other than 1 and 2....????

    PDS = Perfect Design Series - (aka: muscle work)
    The most recent muscle work series of DVD's - a three part series that changes your muscle work plan every ten days

    and lastly... the Thass ... it has been explained before - on the very first entry... but simple put...it is when your ass starts sliding down the back of your leg and becoming one with your thighs.

    Ok, so now that you know what all the codes stand for... I can lay out my Thanksgiving survival plan and I can also be brief when describing my "stay under 130 for a year".

     Thanksgiving survival plan:
    Fly to another country and skip it.

    Ok, that isn't really my plan.

    But I do plan on approaching next week like any other week...

    After all, Thanksgiving Day is basically one big Thass inducing meal and navigating my way through one big meal successfully should be easier than living in the same house with a batch of brownies for four days...right?
    OR- I could completely clean up ALL of my eating for six days prior to Thanksgiving; as well as , workout daily with Muscle work and Cardio - then eat like a little fat piglet on Thanksgiving.
    Either way would be fine because it's all about the big picture, I've decided.

    ONE "wrong" meal has never ruined any one's metabolism or caused them to gain significant amounts of weight.

    My plan for success is going to be a week by week and a day by day "budgeting" of calories in, calories out. Planning ahead and anticipating when I will be able to get workouts in and when I won't - and giving some thought to when I can relax the eating rules a bit and when I will have to clean it up.

    This is no revelation - obviously - but it is interesting how effective the concept has already been for my since completing BC.

    The first week off BC I was sort of wandering around wondering what to do next? How do I maintain?
    Since I did not have a goal - I was just immediately going back to old habits. Which, consequently, weren't really bad habits in the first place.
    But they were habits that would insure that I would easily maintain my PRE-boot camp weight, and not my post boot camp weight.
    I know this - because I had already proven it PRE boot camp... and I clearly wanted a better body or I would not have done BC in the first place.

    So, to think that going back to my old habits would maintain anything but my old body...well that would just make me kind of dumb.

    And I want to be clear ... I know I've said it before ... but I was not fat in the first place.
    I had an average workout plan, average (even if mostly healthy) eating habits, average discipline and ....you guessed it...an average body.

    But I held myself to ABOVE AVERAGE expectations for my body.

    THAT, my friends, is a recipe for low self esteem, frustration and heartache - and probably a Thass if you're over forty.

    SO... I had to finally make a decision. I could except my average body- and there would be nothing wrong with that, IF I coud be happy about it... OR I could employ ABOVE average habits and , with any luck, an above average health and fitness level. (read: kind of be a hotty)

    I choose plan B.

    The second week after BC - the week I began "choosing plan B" and looking at things differently - it all fell into place.

    I had a plan. I had a goal.
    all my anxiety went away ...and so did the few pounds that I put on after boot camp.

    It is simply this...
    If I look at each month, break it down into four weeks and then look at one week at a time....
    there is no reason in the world I cannot plan when and how to get my workouts in and when I KNOW I will really want to enjoy a little more fun in the way of eating and drinking.

    How is this helping me?   It gives me the motivation to NOT snack at night on a Tuesday just because I'm bored, if I know that on Friday I will want to go have a few cocktails, am planning a dinner party, will want popcorn at the movies - or am making BROWNIES for my girls...well then Tuesday better be clean.

    Knowing I will be traveling on a weekend and may not be able to workout motivates me to not "talk myself out of my workout" on Wednesday just because it's cloudy and rainy and I'm feeling lazy and want to stay in the bed for a little longer.

    When you know there will be a time during the week or weekend that it will NOT be possible for a workout or will be extremely difficult to follow a sensible eating plan (i.e. Thanksgiving) -  then use that to motivate yourself to get up off your boo-tay on the times that it IS possible to get it done...but you just don't feel like it.
    All optional times should be taken advantage of...because not optional times will pop up unexpectedly too.

    If I have looked ahead and at least have an IDEA what my week looks like...and the next week...and the next...then my month starts to take shape, so does my year...year starts to take shape...and so does my REAR. Just sayin'...

    I have determined that the only way (for me) to stay at an all time new low weight (under 130) over a long period of time, and really own this new weight and metabolism - is to really own the above- average discipline that goes with it.

    I cannot white knuckle it and have a life - I have to simply plan ahead and then execute.

    Like my friend Joel says, and then I repeat as if it were my little nugget of wisdom...


    So, next week is Thanksgiving. Hmmmm....
    NEXT week is Thanksgiving... but I have already been planning for it... the run down goes something like this:

    I will work out tomorrow - AFTER the football game, and TRUST me... I will not want to, because I am a morning person. But I am taking the girls (sadly) to the airport and then to the game and I could EASILY take tomorrow off... BUT I know that next week will be a short week to get all of my cardio and muscle work due to traveling for the holiday - so Sunday afternoon - I will get in a workout.

    I am also very confident I will  get in a workout tomorrow because I managed to "get in a brownie" yesterday... and one today too!

    Last week I followed mostly boot camp recipes , and did not allow ANY night time snacking and completed PDS I and 60 minutes of cardio each day. In hopes that it would set me up to take today off and enjoy clean eating at almost all meals...with a little pizza and and two brownies thrown into the mix.

    and so far...no weight change!!! That made me feel really excited - because I was nervous to get on the scale this morning...but now I am feeling more confident everyday that with fore thought and balance- this is something that can be done!!!

    I will see some weight gain  tomorrow, but shouldn't be a problem (and by "problem" I mean - I won't get to or go over 130)  and will be back down Monday.

    I will however have to watch out for tomorrow - eating at the game, a big Sunday breakfast, etc.
    I know myself well enough to know what constitutes a back slide.
    If I eat poorly tomorrow - then I could have a "problem" come Monday...because of too much extra yum and not enough cardio.

    I am slightly nervous about experimenting with how much extra yum I can have and not threaten my weight ceiling... but so far, so good.

    The main thing I will have to watch out for is SODIUM. You see, I can hold some water, people.

    Seriously, the  Army Corp of Engineers recently contacted me to discuss plans for a new major dam to be built... they would ultimately like to have it retain as much water as I do after a salty snack on a long flight.
     They are not sure they can match it.

    I honestly feel like sooner than later I will be able to tell EXACTLY what I can do and cannot do to maintain. That is kind of exciting to me!!!

    If you have ever driven a large boat before ...well, this is a lot like driving a large boat.

    No, not because my arse is still the size of a barge...because it isn't anymore... but because if you need to turn or stop a large boat - you had better plan ahead - they need a little time to have the adjustments show up in the course they are on.

    In other words...if you are over eating on Sunday night after a three day bender...or are driving a yacht towards a dock too fast - you had better slow down ahead of time or it will be too late...and you will not be happy when you hit Monday ... or the dock.

    This is the captain of the U.S.S. Thass, signing off for tonight!

    I adore you all!!

    I mean...don't get me wrong... I adore you but there's not a one of you I wouldn't trade for a brownie that had no calories.
    We have to keep our priorities in order. Don't judge me.


    staying under 130...
    for over 365...

    xoxxo La

    Thursday, November 18, 2010

    Weapons of THASS Destruction...

    That's right...WTD's.
    Weapons of Thass Destruction are out there and tonight they showed up in the form of Brownies!
    Worse part is... I made them.

    My precious god daughters are coming to stay with me for the weekend and they love brownies...sadly... they are my favorite too.

    Why are they so delicious...? Because the main ingredient in brownies is cellulite. Everyone knows that.

    Brownies, cigarettes and Mad Men marathons... three things you you'll have  hard time walking away from if you ever start. Don't ask me how I know.

    So, I did lick the spoon - but nothing more! I decided that not only could I not yet "afford" that kind of indulgence on my maintenance plan...but it would be embarrassing to ask James to please hold my hair so I could stick my whole face in them and eat like I was raised by wolves.

    Brownies can bring out the Ferrell child in all of us.

    Hey, here's a riddle for ya:

    What do the "snacks" I have stocked the house with for the girls have in common with I.E.D's.??
    (In ground Explosive Devices)

    Answer: If I don't watch my step and avoid them - they will both blow my ass up!!!

    So- I am combat ready!!!!!!!!

    I will navigate the weekend and consider it training to  run the upcoming obstacle course most commonly know as "Thanksgiving".

    Then I plan to tackle the all time most dangerous and feared of combat zones... "The Holidays."
    The mere mention of it strikes fear into the bravest of bodies, the most disciplined of eaters...
    it is to the Thass, what gas is to the flame.
    It just ain't good.

    It's a war zone out there, ladies!!!!
    There's danger at every turn.
    Enemies lie in wait to derail are efforts. Armed with DANGEROUS weapons...oh, they are out there.

    And these enemies are crafty little boogers.

    They start out slow with smaller weapons early in the fight... mini snickers bars and candy corn. At this point they still dress like strangers but they are devious -and clever enough to be sending the weapons into our homes by using...that's right...THE CHILDREN!

    If the sleek TAM warrior is mentally strong enough to protect her Thass from that spooky little battle..well, then the enemy gets a little more creative.

    They now morph themselves to appear to look EXACTLY like our cherished and beloved family members...
    They pretend to be Mothers, Aunts, Sisters, Daughters .... and even GRANDMOTHERS!!!!
    And these bitches are packing some SERIOUS heat!

    They are armed with pumpkin pies, buttered rolls, casseroles and even something called.... STUFFING!!!
    (side note: file "stuffing" in same category as FAT MO's)

    And I'm here to tell you, these gals pull out all the stops. They are EVIL, EVIL, merciless enemies of the Thass and they have inhabited the bodies of the women in our lives.

    Their serving spoons are like heat seeking missiles to our plates.
    They can PLOP a big ole pile of deadly mashed potatoes on us before we can even call for help.

    And just when you think you can safely enjoy some turkey and sweet potatoes...the drown them in gravy and butter...I'm tellin' ya - they are dangerous. And if you dare try and explain your plan...
    they play the most lethal card known to man.
    The guilt card.

    Somehow eating a sensible portion and being completely satisfied isn't enough for this opponent. They won't be happy until the top button is undone.
    Until you beg for mercy and have actually become a human stuffed Butterball.

    Stay strong. You are going to come out a winner. You can beat the enemy...even if the battle is waged on foreign soil and you have to go to their house.

    If you "Make it to December" (for those of you that don't listen to country music - that was a shout to Merle Haggard. you should AT LEAST listen to some MH music..he's amazing)
    I digress...
    You have navigated one of the most difficult days of the year...but whatever you do... DON'T let your guard down ...because this enemy is just warming up.

     Now that they realize you are a worthy opponent...they are bringing out ...THE BIG GUNS.
    They are going to bring out ...sugar cookies with red and green sprinkles, or iced and shaped like..gulp...snowmen!!!!! That just ain't right!!!!
    The even focus on liquid weapons...  hot chocolate, buttered rum, peppermint schnapps, WINE.

    We can get into our tactical avoidance plan for Christmas after we get through Thanksgiving. We may just not be quite ready to think about that battle yet.
    It has left many a Thass in rough shape...

    But not this one. Not again.

    I have studied my enemies and I know their move before the make it.
    I will juke and jive my way through Thanksgiving without loosing too much ground and then I will plan my attack on "The Holidays". It will be a long, hard battle...
    but this year...I'm bringing BACKUP...
    I'm bringing ALL OF YOU!

    Together we can look our evil enemies (who have morphed into grandma look a likes) straight in the eye and simply say..."Suck it, grandma!"
    "Back away from my plate with that evil ass spoon of yours or I will be forced to kill you."

    (side note: please be advised... the above mentioned statement, when used out of context, might land you back at the kids table for years to come)

    It may be a war zone...

    but I am Mutha Scratchin' RAMBO!!!!
    So, BRING IT ON...

    (I mean, the first Rambo, not the later ones like Rambo IV... which goes without saying -cause I haven't had a bunch of face lifts.)

    This weekend I will lay out my plan for Thanksgiving and post it for all to see.

    Back down to 127!!

    I have worked out everyday this week and eaten very sensibly - no night time snacking!!

    I am currently doing the Tracy Anderson Cardio Dance DVD - which I find impossible and hysterical to try and learn - talk about me looking like a dork!!!!- wow! but I'm starting to catch on and have learned three segments thus far. Now, I'm starting to actually enjoy it!

    I also add in boot camp DVD cardio to supplement while I'm learning sequences.

    Today I hiked with my friend Amy and my puppy dog, Stevie Wonder! Mainly because I missed hiking with Amy and Stevie is getting fat!

    I'm going to go to bed now before I eat a brownie.

    130 lbs or less..

    for 365 days...or more.


    P.S - next week, on Thanksgiving, when the food snipers take aim ..try running in a serpentine pattern through the kitchen - it makes it more difficult for them to hit your plate.

    Wednesday, November 17, 2010

    I have an official THASSIVERSARY!!!!

    Ladies and Gentlemen...start your engines!

    It is now official - as of yesterday I am back under 130...128 to be exact... and it's on like Donkey Kong!! It's on like all night Paint Ball!
    Oh...it's SOOOOO on!!!!!

    So, if yesterday was the first day I went back under 130...why didn't I blog about it last night?
    Well, it's because I STARTED my cardio at 9:30 pm!!!! Finished muscle work and cardio at 11:30pm...ugh.

    That's what you get when you put it off in the morning thinking..."I'll just rock that out when I get home tonight".

    It would have been a good "rest" day.. but being as I had JUST gone to 128, thus activating the official Thassiversary... I didn't want to cash in one of my cherished "passes" on the first day!!!

    This may be worse than the 30 day Boot Camp!!!

    Self inflicted rules and regulations.This a brand new concept to me.

    It's oddly quiet around the house with the fat ass twins having been recently slaughtered in October...RIP.

    Things are more calm, meals aren't skipped and portions are normal.
    Food is more about fueling my body and not about medicating my boredom, loneliness or stress.

    I find that I am satisfied most of the time and that most "knee jerks" to grab an extra bite of this or just a few bites of that have nothing to do with hunger, and everything to do with habit.

    It's merely me wanting what I what, when I want it - and not caring about anything but the immediate gratification of the RIGHT NOW. Which I think is probably a theme in several arenas of my life...as embarrassing as that is to admit.

    Delayed gratification. What a concept.

    I am learning to define delayed gratification in smaller, more palatable time increments.

    If I think that I can't snack at night or eat a little extra until I have a Thass-less, rocking abs, cellulite free body (which will take a loooong time)...well , that thought makes me so depressed... that I want to eat!
    Kind of counter productive, don't you think?

    I am also working on changing my habits, learning to love sacrificing IMMEDIATE gratification for EXTENDED gratification.

    So,  if we delay the IMMEDIATE gratification of the snacking tonight- for a short amount of time only, over night- our EXTENDED gratification will be waiting for us in the morning...

    In the form of denim.
    In the form of mirrors.
    In the form of muscles.
    In the form of numbers on a scales, compliments, good skin tone, great health and self confidence.

    In the form of self respect.

    That's quite a compelling list if gratifying wants when compared to the freezer burned Leggo's waffle you are about to toast.

    What..? Don't EVEN act like you haven't dug through the freezer and thawed out some nasty old something lurking in the darkest corners of the icy wasteland and brought it back from the brink of the inedible. Only to  cover it with butter, sugar or syrup to mask the freezer burn and make it seem sweet and satisfying while you watched a Project Runway marathon.

    Oh...you haven't. I'm the only one. Hmmmm, this is awkward.

    Ok, moving on then...

    So - you can eat the Halloween candy tonight - (which isn't even any good at this point because all the good stuff is gone) OR... you can decide you're satisfied and you can wait until morning and enjoy  breakfast and a full day of feeling great about yourself and feeling comfortable in your jeans because they aren't cutting into your muffin top.
    It's your call.

    Choose delayed gratification enough and you can probably have some night time snacks from time to time and it won't effect you at all.

    Last week, I learned the hard way, that I am not quite to there yet.

    I wasn't eating a lot, or drinking a lot, but I also wasn't working out a lot... and I sure wasn't choosing delayed gratification a lot.

     I was gaining a little bit of weight every single day after boot camp. It was freaking me out!!!!

    I kept thinking - oh no! How do I maintain my results? Is it even possible????

    Well, I am happy to report that the MINUTE I got back to working out (muscle work and cardio) and stopped snacking at night - the weight dropped right back off! I feel lean and strong and can see all the definition of the muscles and all the results I earned in boot camp!

    I returned to some old, bad habits...and the old,bad weight wanted to return.
    I returned to my new, more gratifying habits...and my new and more gratifying body returned.

    Don't you love how surprised I was by both???

    No fairy dust exists after boot camp... it's the same fairy dust as during boot camp...
    Hard work, consistancy, showing up and sweating.

    bummer...I was hoping for a pill.

    Bad news...you have to keep up the effort to keep up the results.
    Good news... you can keep up the effort and keep up the results.

    At least I know that it can be done..and I'm gonna DO IT!!!!

    I did boot camp BY THE BOOK for thirty days...which dramatically increased my chances of getting great results.
    I'm going to maintain my results FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR...which should dramtically increase my chances of keeping my results for a lifetime.

    And keeping my results for a lifetime dramatically DECREASES my chances of finding myself in a Rascal Scooter navigating the aisle of Cheesecake Factory.
    (sidenote: although I do enjoy their Miso Salmon - I believe that the serving sizes at Cheesecake Factory are directly related to why parts of the world hates America... an appetizer there could feed a family of four. Maybe they should call it The Thasscake Factory)

    Moving on... again...

    I feel CONFIDENT that I can do what I have never done before...keep my new low and let it become my new normal.
    I will discover how to maintain AND have a life...so far so good.

    My dear friend Barbara printed out a quote recently and wanted to share it with all of you..


    Thanks, Barbara... love the quote, love you!

    Everyday  I hear from someone who has started boot camp, or finished boot camp, or are pushing and fighting their way through boot camp...or they are rocking out their own day to day plan...
    and I am SOOOOO proud of all of you! Keep sharing and I'll pass it on!

    My favorite message from today... short and to the point...from my friend Wynn...
    "Day 21 ab work - thought my intestines were gonna squeeze out of my mouth"

    hahaha! hang in there Wynn!!...the follow up muscle work after boot camp is WAY more easy than BC muscle work.

    Thanks for hanging in there with me everyone...
    it's gonna be a long, but rewarding year!!!

    Official Thassiversary ... NOVEMBER 16th!!!!!

    two days down...
    a boat load to go!!!!!


    Tuesday, November 16, 2010

    A close encounter of the Tracy Anderson kind....

    Well, last week Tracy Anderson was in da house!!!
    The Nashville house that is...

    She was kind enough to come with her bestie Gwyneth Paltrow and support her at her movie Premier "Country Strong".

    And has fate would have it... I was at the movie premier of "Country Strong"!!!!

    The premier was lovely, the red carpet crawling with stars and the theater was packed with Nashville's finest talent from the music business- oh, and then there were people like me. The people who live their lives as the talented people's "plus one", yah...we were there too!

    Honestly, it never crossed my mind that Tracy would be with GP.

    Although I'm not completely surprised because Tracy is so damn cute and tiny she can probably fit into Gwyneth's tote bag like a Maltipoo.

    So after we settled into our seats and are awaiting the start of the movie and I get a text from my precious friend Eric Brooks.
    It says simply " I just saw Tracy"
    My response was simply  " Tracy who?"

    (...DON'T GASP people... remember before you think I've dropped my basket asking "Tracy who?" after my entire life has revolved around her for over a month- I never imagined she would be in town. If had realized she was coming I would have stood on the red carpet or in the lobby doing the arm exercises in her honor! Couple that with knowing that Eric is a Vanderbilt college student who read my blog...but I didn't really think he even knew who she was - sooooo, "Tracy who?", I say...)

    His response: "Anderson"
    My response: "I'm assuming your kidding"  (actually thanks to auto correct on Iphone I believe my response was "I'm assing your kidding" - thank Steve Jobs )
    His response: "I'm not"
    My response: it was going to be something along the lines of "WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!!! ARE YOU PULLING MY RECENTLY TONED LEG?????"

    but I couldn't respond because all of the sudden my phone started BLOWING UP with texts saying "Tracy is in da house!" Tracy Anderson is here? Are you at the Movie Premier?" " Hey - that girl that did the workout video you've been following is at the premier" etc....

    OMG!!!! I got so excited that I was hitting James in the arm and looking everywhere for her!!!
    It was like I was twelve years old and someone told me There was a Jonas Brother in the building.
    James just laughed...I was about to hyperventilate!

    Now, let's not forget that I work with celebrities, and have for over 20 years and although I always remain a fan of the ones who make music I love and am proud of them and get excited when I remember they are famous (because if they are REALLY your friends you totally forget they are famous...until the walk out into a screaming auditorium - and then you're like OH! you're SO famous! ha!! forgot!!! anyway, I say all that to say this...I RARELY - IF EVER get starstruck. It's just not something that happens to me much -but I was giddy and nervous and starstruck over Tracy being in the house!!!!!!!!

    Well, then I realized there were two theaters showing the movie and wouldn't you just know it...we were NOT in the "Tracy" theater.
    Which is probably a good thing...because I would have more than likely crawled across peoples laps during the movie, in the dark, looking for her.
    All the while whispering -" Sorry" "excuse me, sorry" "Tracy, that you?" "oh, sorry" "Tracy??" "OH! there you are! (still whispering) Oh, Hey Gwyneth - this will just take a minute, you look great, btw...Tracy...my name is Laura and I have the Thass blog and look at my arms!! and you shoul..."

    Now, the reason I would have stopped whispering during the movie premier would not have been because it occurred to me how incredibly rude I was being...but because security pulled me off of Tracy and "helped" me to get outside. That was nice of them to hold my arm like that and make sure I didn't fall in my heels. Some people are so thoughtful.

    So I settled into the movie - which is great! You all need to go see it! If for no other reason than to see GP's legs and abs - well done, Tracy and Gwyneth! Well done, indeed!

    I knew I could catch up with her at the after party. I was fully prepared to stalk her and Gherm her!!!

    What is a Gherm, you ask??
    It is a wonderful word that originated in Nashville and let me say this...it is not a compliment.
    A Gherm is someone who goes up to a celebrity and bugs them, asks for an autograph or picture and then won't leave them alone.

    You can "gherm" someone.
    You can be a "gherm".
    You can be "ghermed" - well, if your famous.

    we are all gherms from time to time...and some people are lifers. You know the ones...always ready to GHERM someone - they are buggers.
    If you are one... I urge you to not tell anyone and immediately seek help to stop this insidious behavior!!

    As you can tell, I feel strongly about it.
    But let me tell you - I was going to find her and gherm the ever living life out of her!
    I didn't care...I was going to become one of those people, the gherms, that think that we have a "special relationship" and are close...and that she would care about my being "the blog girl"...yep... I was a mini nightmare starter kit - with Tracy's name on it!!!

    So....how did it go when I met her???????????????????????????

    Well, heck if I know.
    I didn't.
    I didn't get to meet her!!!!


    Turns out, James had a hurt foot, so I took him home and was going to drop him off and go to the after party - which can be a good thing - it's easier to be a stealth stalker when traveling as a lone wolf..but then I got home and couldn't bring myself to drive all the way over to the party and valet and deal with it. The lone wolf was tired.

    I know...how lame.

    But, I also knew she would be part of the posse the next couple of nights at the awards shows - which I was also attending - so I knew I would have other chances to be annoying and probably scare her with my enthusiasm.

    turns out..I knew nothing. I was wrong.

    We sat right in front of GP at the awards, but no Tracy.
    and I didn't look for her at the BMI awards because we have mutual friends and I already knew they decided not to attend so GP wouldn't lose her voice from talking too much.
    Hysterical how many updates I got about GP - not because I care about following Gwyneth's movements (she is lovely - I mean that in a nice way!) but because everyone I know was on a Tracy lookout alert!!!

    I would got text messages for three days from random people telling me then had just seen her!!!
    It was actually a little odd after a while... I felt like the hillbilly version of TMZ.

    So - after all that.. I never met her.

    It just wasn't meant to be, I guess.

    But, all in all, it was a great awards week...
    GP did a great job!! That is tough to get up there and sing in front of all those amazing talents - but she did a fantastic job!

    Everyone sounded amazing... and how great did Reba McEntire look?
    Holy Smoke...she looks better every year.
    It's like the curious case of Reba Buttons. Just sayin'...

    But here was the best part of the night for me....
    I was walking down the aisle to our seats and some random guy - who I DID NOT KNOW - goes
    " Laura, Laura ...hey! how much are you down to??? Great job!!! I read your blog on Facebook!!"

    I couldn't believe it... ladies and gentlemen...it happened...
    I WAS GHERMED!!! ahahah!!!
     and I LOVED it!!!!

    Never forget - in my brain movie - I am wildly famous - so this came as no big surprise to me.

    Thank you random man at awards show who is concerned with the size of my hiney. Thank you for caring. It means a lot.

    Please let me know if I should be scared of you.

    Have a great day everyone!!!
    More as I know it...

    I'm going to go workout and I have exciting TAM news for you guys...
    more soon.

    I'm still laughing at my new motto...

    Life is lot more fun with a lot less ass.


    CMA week photos...

     Here are a few pictures from the BMI and CMA awards... with a few of my favorite people in the world!!!