Monday, May 23, 2011

..blame it on the Rapture!!!


I totally crashed over the weekend!!!!!!

I am choosing to blame it COMPLETELY on the rapture. I mean, let's face it - they were predicting the end of the world on Saturday...
So I figured, what difference would it REALLY make if I skipped ONE workout and ate a chocolate chip cookie...ya know...for the good times.

Well, the world didn't end after all (whew)... until Monday morning when I stepped on the scale!!!
Please, Lord... was that some kind of joke...? First the "fake end of the world thing" and then having me gain four pounds in two days from simply not completing my workout...

I mean..COME ON...

Here's how the weekend unraveled for me...

Friday morning- UP AND AT EM'! Going to knock out my workout and then be all showered and ready for our daughter Ariel's visit for the weekend! Coming with her, of course - is her wonderful husband Greg and our gorgeous grand daughter Cecelia!!!!!

I threw on my workout clothes, heated up my room and then... immediately started doing all the last minute things you do before you have house guests...flower arrangements, groceries, various errands and picking up around the house. Now, don't get me wrong - I had PLENTY of time to get my workout in and THEN complete those tasks- but I didn't really want to do it in that order.

It was the beginning of the end....

I finally got around to my exercising - and completed the mat workout and I absolutely and utter fell pray to the fat girl in me and ditched my cardio!!!!
Mainly because I successfully postponed it long enough that by the time they were arriving from the airport I "didn't have time to finish my cardio"...
I gotta tell ya... secretly - somewhere deep down in side - my fat girl had that planned the whole stinking morning.
She did.
She also had me buy cookie dough - ya know..."for the kids"... yah right... I baked those bitches up and ate more of them than any of the kids!!!!

I think my inner fat girl really believed the predictions of the end of the world.
Thank God she only sabotaged my boot camp plan and didn't hold the title to my car or she might have given all my things away and quit our job!

ahhhhh... Saturday. The day of Rapture...well, you can only imagine that listening to people talk about the world ending at 6:00 pm is arguably the GREATEST EXCUSE EVER USED to skip a workout!!!

I will give myself some props.. I did do my cardio on Saturday... rationalizing that I could count both days together and have officially only missed ONE day of working out...since I did cardio one day and mat work the other...
makes good sense, right????

Not sure what I'm going to tell you about why I did NOTHING on SUNDAY!!! - N to the O to the THING...NOTHING.

OMG- Maybe it is the end of the world...?
No.. like I said... the end of the world came this morning when I stepped on the scale and was FOUR pounds heavier...
I know, I know - it's all (or mostly) water weight and some good old fashioned bloat from the deviation from the diet... but it was a harsh little reality check that I was NOT going to be able to pull little stunts like that and get away with it.

Soooooo... I am getting it together to get back on track and finish strong!!!

I do truly feel that it is the key to long term success... not being "perfect" because sometimes we are all "by the book" and sometimes we crash and burn!!! But to let one or two days of slipping up wreck what could be 28 GREAT days... well, that's where we all get in trouble!

I have to forgive myself - not worry about it - and move on. The damage is done, the mistakes made.

I used to yo-yo diet all the time...
I would start every Monday of my life (so it seemed) with a  renewed spirit and determination that it was the start of something special!!! I would tell myself I would be PERFECT... no cheating on my diet, no fat, no carbs, no sweets, no taste, no fun, no booze, no oxygen, no nothing! I would SWARE I would work out everyday and live on snow peas and lemon water...

then I would kick it's ass on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday ...maybe even  about half a day on Thursday... until I ate something "wrong"... you know - that could be anything back in those days... we've all done it - one bite of cake at the office party...some piece of pizza..what ever...

and then the deadliest of all words run through your little mental ticker tape...

"Well, I've already blown I might as well screw the whole thing for today and I'll start over tomorrow - tomorrow I'll be PERFECT AGAIN."

So then you proceed to eat like Ms. PacMan and gobble up food like those little dots on the screen!!!

The sad part is - as we are all shoving our faces with crap food - we are feeling guilty about it - NOT enjoying it and probably taking in more calories in the mentality of "get it while you can, because I 'll never get to eat this again as long as I live...since tomorrow I'm going to start all over again and be perfect forever" than you would normally eat in a week.

Then the next day comes and ...well, it's Friday now... I mean...who ever even heard of starting a diet on Friday? That's just weird... you know what... I'll start again on MONDAY!!!!!!

everyone knows that....

It gets you a sense of failure. It gets you low self esteem because you feel like you "failed" again.
It gets you a wrecked metabolism, and it gets you firmly placed in the shame spiral of answering the following question..."Who ate all the cookies?"

ahhhh...the shame of it all.

It could have been a little slip up - and ENJOYED and savored slip up - which is part of life - and then it would have been a much better weekly average - maybe 6 days great / one day not so great...or a 5/2 split... even a 4/3 is better than nothing!

So- my more adult, healthy mind says this... F@*K IT! Sometimes we slip up.
That is life.

One cookie does not a fat person make.
One cheeseburger does not a fat person make.
One missed workout does not a fat person make.

Sometimes life gets in the way of the best laid plans to be "perfect "...

but before you go and throw away all your hard work on a three days bender... just take a deep breath...take inventory of what you are doing... and if you cannot complete a workout - tell yourself it's what you can.
If you cannot pass up something temporarily forbidden on your diet plan...tell yourself a little is ok...then ENJOY IT!!! Don't feel guilty about it  - just enjoy a little...
and know that it is not an open invitation to stuff your face for three days.

AND you do not need to wait to Monday to get yourself back on track!!!

"MONDAY" is an illusion... Monday is bull sh*t.

 Honor yourself enough to treat each day as a fresh start - and know they are all are as important as any Monday - they all count! Good , bad or otherwise...

I am proud of the fact that I did not pile into any large amounts of food, I did partial workouts on both Friday and Saturday and I only back slid a little bit...
I totally blew off Sunday - but didn't eat poorly at all. I just couldn't seem to get myself motivated to do anything...but I ate well!
AND... I'm back on track today and feeling better about the fact that well...sometimes we aren't all perfect.

and guess what folks... the world doesn't come to an end over it after all!!!!!!

Hope I didn't let you guys down...

but I'm not going to beat myself up about it - for that is what the young, stupid girl I was a long time ago would have done...some of you might have known her - the one that didn't need botox yet...and btw, she was a lot heavier!!!!!

We're all getting better all the time!

We're all beautiful - even when we mess up a little.

I'm trying really hard - and I'll keep trying!!!!!
Wish me luck!


PS- I am hoping that scale shows a little mercy tomorrow morning! :)

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Day 8 - Boot Round 2!

it's happening!
I'm rockin' this OUT!

I have not missed a day yet! It's day seven and I am finally feeling more "lean"...
Interesting enough - my weight has only moved a couple of pounds - but my body seems to be getting smaller again - and going back to it's former post - boot camp shape.

Which confirms what I already knew... I had gained more weight than the scale was really telling me.
Although the numbers said I wasn't really gaining weight - I was losing muscle weight, so the pounds were the same but the size of my body was getting laaaaaaarger.

If you think about it - that's actually very nice of the lie to me. I really appreciate it's efforts to keep the ugly truth from me and not wreck my day each morning.

 My jeans don't share the same opinion of "little white lies and sparing my feelings" as my scale does.
Those bitches are HARD CORE about being honest.
I will say I have a few pairs that contain Lycra and those girls are willing to "stretch the truth" a little bit... but my other jeans...not so much.

They call it like they see it.
And they were seeing it (and by 'it', I mean my ass) getting larger by the day before I got back on track!

It was if I could hear them talking in my closet - behind my back - like a bunch of mean girls huddled around a table...
"Oh girl...she's putting on weight...she better not even think about reaching for me today and expecting to put THAT  in me!"
"You're telling me - girl, she wore me yesterday and had to pull at me all day long to get my waist back over her muffin top - she finally pulled my belt loop so hard it ripped it right out!"
" Sisters -I'm not strong enough to hold all that in - ohhhh...she needs to get back on her program if she wants to wear me again"
"Lawd, Lawd...she gonna try me on and blame the drier for shrinking me again!"

ok- bitches... I got the message. I was running around telling myself that my weight was the same - but WE ALL knew I was gaining inches as I slowly abandoned my TAM workouts...

I'm sorry I blamed the high heat of the drier, I'm sorry I ripped out your belt loops, I'm sorry I threw you on the ground when you refused to zip up...I'm sorry you all missed out on some of my most recent trips, I'm sorry I put some of you on and thought it was your fault I looked a little heavy... it wasn't your fault... it was mine.

I wanted to believe what the scale was telling me - that as long as my weight stayed the same - everything else should "be the same"... but it wasn't true..and I knew it.

All pounds are not created equally... some are dense and fabulous and full of lean muscle...some are nasty , flabby wads of fatty jean-busting ass meat.

just sayin'...

SO - I am happy to report that I am starting to feel a little more lean!!! The muscle tone is rapidly returning and the "size" of my bootay and legs are rapidly recovering and preparing to get back in all those teeny tiny jeans!!!

I'm so happy is back to normal!!! I couldn't post an update for a couple of days due to some updating the sight was doing- then I was traveling and when I came back I was geared up for a bunch of "where have you been" comments...and guess what I found..???

A big NOTHING.. not a peep... I thought "Uh Oh"...everyone has fallen off the wagon and it's eerily quiet here on the Thass network.

But everyone's older comments popped up and loads of you reported having the same trouble that I was experiencing with the site.

SO- now that we are back in working order... and almost back in all the jeans (little bitches)... I will keep on keeping on!

It's day 8 - and it's markedly easier this go round...although I am taking a little more lighter approach to it.
I have not missed a single workout - and will not!
I have not had a single glass of wine or a cocktail.
I have eaten strictly boot camp recipes...with the sole exception of indulging in a banana with some peanut butter while traveling.
I would say I felt guilty about that.. but that would be a lie. I didn't feel guilty about it at all.

Plus- if I said I did, I feel confident that I would get barraged with comments recommending eating disorder clinics for me to look into.

Hey - I was at a friends lake house... everyone was having Mexican food and margaritas and mother scratchin' cupcakes...and I "went crazy" and ate a banana and a spoonful of peanut butter...
I gotta tell ya...I thought it was a complete victory!!!
No chips, no cheese sauce, no fish tacos, no mother scratchin' cupcakes... no wine, no vodka cran, only lemon water!!!!

Victory was mine. Those little jeans will be mine too..sooner than later!

The first boot camp go round - I literally would not have gone to the overnight party for fear of not being able to be "by the book"... so I'm trying to incorporate actually living my life ...with doing boot camp...
and so far so good!!!!

the workouts aren't taking as long as before either - although they will eventually as I plan on working up to 50 and then 60 minutes of cardio again in the next week or so( I am currently doing 40 minutes) that will tack on a a little more time.

I haven't lost the pounds this time that I did the first go round...but then again - I started this round almost ten pounds lighter ...
and I've been sore...and I had a monthly visitor - which always leaves me a little on the bloated side!!!! I'm down a couple of pounds since the start and am currently about a week ahead of my weight loss from last will be interesting to see what happens as I keep at it.

I'm not weighing everyday...which is also strange for me- but again..I am trying to remove so much emphasis from being on the scale numbers (especially since we know she's not exactly honest with me) and focus on health and exercising and sticking to the plan!!!! I'm concerned with weight - but only as one of many factors and not the only factor.

Having said that .. I'm weighing in right around 129... and am anticipating being back down around the 125-126 range by the time the 30 days are over with...

I'm going to measure again in a few days - hopefully, if I can get it together long enough to call Joel and schedule him to come help me out! - when I do - I will post the figures!!!

Again...if Tracy is out there...I'm sure she would be happy to hear that one week of being back on her plan is rapidly un-doing the damage of months of lack luster eating and waining exercising!

Not that I am surprised!!!!

But good to prove it and see the Thass shaping right back up!
Thanks, Tracy!!!!!!

I think I may go wash my jeans and dry them on high heat...not because they are dirty, but because they are bitches and need to be reminded who controls the spin cycle around here!!!!

I'm SOOOOOOO EXCITED for my fellow TAMmers who have reported in!!!
and Paola - you are working out with TRACY!!!???? Fantastic!!!
Please send me a note and let me know how it went so I can pass it on to everyone!

Keep up the good work!!!!!!!

I'm going to go knock out my workout before I have to report to a business dinner...where I will surely sit there drinking lemon water and eating dry fish...but I'll feel good doing it!!!

All my best to each of you!

more tomorrow!!!!


ALL - BY THE BOOK...(except an occasional banana... don't judge me)

xoxo La

Wednesday, May 11, 2011


Well, let me just start off by saying this...


Man... guess what.. it's hard all over again!

I'm sore and tired today... but HEY- I'm not at the hospital being asked questions like....

"any history of heart disease" ... "No"
"any chance you are pregnant"..." None"...(that baby bump looking thing in my belly is just a cheeseburger left over from the weekend)
"do you do cocaine"... "huh?, seriously..? No- I do not" ( first off- I would not have any friends because no one can even tolerate me after a latte - CAN YOU IMAGINE ME ON COCAINE?????? - OMG - I would be nightmare.
Well maybe I would have a few friends because everyone would know that if I came over to their house all hopped up on blow I would eventually re-roof their house before the evening was over.)

"where exactly did you feel the chest pains?"..."ummm- In my chest." ( Was that a trick question? Does anyone ever come in with chest pains and then go on to explain that they felt them in their leg???)

Anyway - after being assured that their was no reason in the world to be concerned with whatever searing pain I had last night in my chest... I came home and crashed!!

I was so happy to get out of the hospital - cause you know what ?- they have loads of sick people there!!!! It's as if all the sick people FLOCK to that place - ick... what's up with that?
I was happy to leave...

 I anticipate the next time I have a chest pain followed by numbness in my arm will probably when I get the bill from the hospital.

so...moving on!

 DAY TWO - OH!!!! DAY's all coming back to me now!!!!!

It's still hard ladies - but it's not AS HARD as it was the first go round- not at all really...

I attribute it mostly to having maintained most of my results from the first go round - and even though I really fell off the wagon in the last month to 6 weeks -in both my eating and my workouts - I can tell my body isnt quite as in shock as it was the first time I did Boot.

Everything is hard - but since I know the exercises and am starting out at 20 reps (just like the first go round) - it is going CONSIDERABLY faster than round one.

Both yesterday and today - I rocked out both my Cardio and Mat in about an hour and 15 - 30 minutes.
The first time around it took me almost 2.5 hours!!!

I am doing 40 minutes cardio - and today I step touched more than yesterday - but will be easing into the cardio over the next five or so days - again- to avoid shin splints...

but I was sweating like a pig!

and my little room was hot as an Easy Bake Oven !!!!

I picked up my food today from my friend that is cooking for me - and was so thankful for it...

so I am officially in the groove now- not in the hospital and am SOOOOOO excited about starting and getting going.. I cannot wait until about a week from now - when all of the sudden you start feeling so lean and so much smaller and all your jeans start fitting again!!!!

That's the best feeling in the world!

I started a brand new dry erase calendar for this go round- and I'm comparing it to last time - so I can keep myself honest about when I increased my reps and when it was hard- when it got easier - when the big changes took place in my body - all that good stuff!

I am going to weigh tomorrow - I am guessing I am around 133 - because I feel sore and swollen... but not really sure - could be better or worse - but I will be interested in comparing this round to last since I am starting at a considerably better starting point!

Don't forget - I've got Bora Bora coming up in late June- and I refuse to have swollen travel cankles and a droopy Thass - NO WAY- I'm going to feel lean and good about myself!!!!


Ok- time to check in with my other lady boot campers!!!

Eloise, Shay, Paola, "N", Ilissa and Jenn H!!!!! - How's it going????
(and we will have Gabrielle joining us on Monday of next week!!)

anyone else out there trying it with us? I know a lot of you said you where in - so if so - check in with us and let us know to be cheering you on!!!!!

@N - you wanted to know where I take my measurements...
in several places:
mid calf / mid thigh (actually about seven inches above the knee)/ lower ab ("waist") / hips / chest / upper arms

I have not measured yet this time - but plan on grabbing some measurements in the next couple of days!!!
IT was tremdously helpful last go round- so if this is your first time -take before and after photos and MEASURE  YOURSELF!!!

It really helps!

I am drinking lots of lemon water and am currently sitting here wanting to eat something ... and by something I mean ANYTHING... and by ANYTHING I mean a snack, some fruit, the neighbors dog.. the neighbor...or anything out of the neighbors fridge. ah geez.'s all coming back to me now... nightime is the most difficult, when the snack attacks set in.

funny how a little self discipline seems SO hard all of the sudden -
I just keep reminding myself that it gets better soon- the first few days are the most difficult ...


I'm so excited about feeling more lean again - I don't even care - I will tough it out...

although the neighbors should put their dogs inside - you know, just as a precaution.

Hoping to hear from all my other BC buddies!!!!

check in with me so I can help keep you honest!!!!

Day three- here we come!

xoxox La

I'll post some pictures this weekend - or maybe even tomorrow - as I'm starting to get caught up and in the groove more and more!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

OMG..first day back on boot camp and I ended up in the hospital!!!!

Well, isn't this just a fine kettle of fish...
Let's get a few things out of the way first...

No, I'm not kidding - I just got back from the hospital.
Yes, it happened on my first day back on boot camp.
No, the two are not related in any way. I promise - it has NOTHING to do with TAM!!!
Yes, I am totally fine and feel great - not a single thing to worry about.

back to the story at hand...

I was just released from the hospital after a couple hours of tests, xray's and blood tests...

why the need to rush to the hospital...?

are you all sitting down (and to avoid unnecessary drama - I must repeat...I am COMPLETELY FINE - NOTHING IS WRONG WITH ME WHAT SO EVER - did you get that, mom?) ... but earlier in the evening I had some severe chest pains and then my left arm went numb...


so I was left wondering - Am I having a heart attack????? WTF..????

well, if I go to the hospital when I'm 42 and healthy and active and not overweight - they are going to commit me to the psych ward - or call my mother and accuse her of having Munchhausen Syndrome ...

but if I DON'T go to the hospital and then have to explain later that - "I had weird painful chest pains I've never experienced before -followed by immediate numbness in my left arm, but I assumed it was not a problem because things like that don't happen to me"...

well, you get the point... the pains were abnormal and acute, but I'm young and very healthy...  so I was stuck in the awkward spot of it being ridiculous if I went, and ridiculous if I didn't.

So I went...

Thinking to myself how utterly stupid it was - but at the same time feeling very unsettled about the "chest pain episode"... (which I was laughing to myself because I kept thinking how pissed I was going to be if they told me not to exercise for a few days (btw- no such luck) since I completed day one today and let me tell you what...

it was hard... ALL OVER AGAIN... obviously - I mean - my God- it ALMOST KILLED ME!!!

haha- I'm kidding - like I said - doctor thought the chest pains were something muscular and not to worry - all was great!

I am about to fall asleep at my computer right now - so I'll tell you more about it tomorrow - but wanted to drop you a note to say that DAY ONE didn't kill me - but it damn sure tried!!!

I also wanted to go on record and say that I had a great DAY know - in case the doctor that checked me out at the hospital was a whack job and really wasn't a doctor at all -and I croaked tonight in my sleep- (I'm kidding , mom - please do not call me tonight to check on me) - I'm tired- but I'm all good!!!

and I was ON IT today - rocked out perfect food, hit 20 reps of Mat workout (30 day / days 1-10) and did 40 minutes of 30 day method cardio - mostly step touching I am giving my shins a chance to catch up and not push them too hard - not sure if I mentioned it before - But I am prone to shin splints - so I have to ease into it!

I am following the same plan I followed the first go round - and that is what I did last time- it was LOTS EASIER today - until the whole- "I think I'm having a heart attack thing..."

food perfect- exercise perfect

even with a hospital visit...!!!!!

more tomorrow about day one and my plans for navigating some upcoming hurdles!!!
Here we go girls!!

Day One, Round 2 -  Done- BY THE BOOK!!!

xoxo La

Monday, May 9, 2011

Boot Camp - Round 2!! I'm starting tomorrow-Tuesday!!

Sorry for the false start but my "food supplier" can't start until Wednesday and with all day meetings today I could not get my food going for myself until tomorrow!!!!

I don't mind sharing with you all the I'm TERRIFIED to give this another go- but FULLY committed and can't wait!!!!

and I'm beyond thrilled that so many of you are going to jump in with me!!!

Sounds like lots of you are starting asap - and some might have gotten up this morning and kicked it into gear - WOO HOO!!!!

Tomorrow (Tuesday)'s game on and I will be going at it hard- blogging everyday - or almost everyday - and keeping everyone motivated to the best of my ability...

I may have to resort to reading my own old posts to keep myself reminded of just how hard it was in the first place.... oh good grief!

You know what I'm dreading? hard it's going to be...
You know what I'm excited about? damn good I felt afterwards!!!

I want to figure out how to contact everyone that is jumping in with me - and keep tabs...??

Any thoughts?

Maybe everyone can just post their progress in the comment section...
if any of you are techies-( as I am certainly not!) please throw out ideas - for I am all ears.

By the way - as it turns out - you actually have to continue to do Tracy's exercise to maintain ALL the results. I'm not exactly sure why I thought I could stop working out and eat like sumo wrestler and not backslide... but now that I've tested THAT theory, and found it doesn't quite work that way - I think I'll try doing what I'm supposed to do and get back on it!

I will say that I have not lost all my progress - not even close - so I have high hopes for a speedy recovery and then ON TO NEW FRONTIERS of Thass reversal!!!!

You can only imagine that auto correct just had a field day with that word "Thass"
It's saying "word not found in dictionary"...yah.. no kidding... if it were found in the dictionary - and not on the back of my ass - I wouldn't be so concerned about it!

ok ladies!!!

- and gentlemen - if you're interested...

it's on!!!


I'm scared... someone please hold me.


tomorrow will be DAY ONE, PART 2...and BY THE BOOK!!!!!

xoxo La

Let's do this thing!

OH- btw - I am starting Boot food this evening - so that when I finish my workout on the last day - I will officially be done!! and can celebrate that evening!!! So- I guess I'm kind of starting today!

Friday, May 6, 2011

Boot Camp...ROUND 2!!!! Anyone want a piece of this action???

Holy smoke- I cannot believe I'm about to say this- but I think it's time for another round of bootcamp...

I need to re-set my taste buds, re-set my muscle structure and re-set my discipline... which all seem to be wandering randomly about , doing just as they please, like little kids with no one baby sitter!!!

I am leaving today for the Kentucky Derby!!! SOOOOO fun! I've never been... and I cannot wait.

One reason I knew it was time to think about another round of bot camp... the kick ass dress that I bought to wear to the currently isn't so kick ass.

It would still seem kick ass if Pepperidge Farm were the designer and I was going to be in the "Mrs. Summer Sausage 2011" pageant.

Needless to say - it's a little on the tight side... so- that's it!

Time to pick up the pace and stop the backslide of my backside.

So... I have one friend that's in !! WHO ELSE IS WITH ME?????



I hear crickets chirping right now.
dip those bitches in chocolate and I would eat the crickets right now.

I'm telling ya- it's time!!!!

I have to go right now, because I need to go find another dress to wear to the event tonight and tomorrow to the race...thank God the weather is more chilly than expected...I will blame the different dress on that...and not the complete lack of self discipline.


Oh well! moving on... I will get back on Saturday night and get my room ready, NEW CALENDAR, new measurements and turn the house upside down looking for my new attitude....!!!!!

It's around here somewhere...?

I'm sure my resolve will be further enhanced after my little trip to Kentucky... I'm going to blow it out- eat and drink and return otherwise miserable but READY TO ROCK IT OUT>>>>

please tell me some of you are willing to go to Tracy-Land with me!!! Misery does indeed love company!

I cannot wait, actually!!!!

We start on Monday... (actually I may start the food on Sunday mid-day - because I want to be officially done on day thirty after I finish my workout, and not when I wake up the following morning... that was anti-climactic last time around)

I will not be back to blog until Sunday morning - but I will heck in my comments, Facebook or Twitter to see if anyone wants some of this action!!!!!!

I'm terrified of trying it again...

but look forward to it at the same time...I think I will consider it spring cleaning!

It will be interesting to see how my body responds this go round... faster? the same? is it more difficult? easier? do I get more fit? smaller? who knows.. but I am really looking forward to the health aspect of the results as much or more than any jean size...

I do not feel very healthy right now... even though I am still thin.. I want to feel healthy like I did after bootcamp and for months to follow...

so - here we go!!!!!!!

deep sigh... ok- LET'S DO THIS THANG!!!!

30 days... by the book...AGAIN!!!!!!!

xoox La

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

7 day juice fast... PART 2.. goes... juice fast part 2 ..and my embarrassing story of ZERO will power....

and let me just say that today's entry goes out to ALL OF YOU who commented to me back during the days of my original boot camp that "I was so motivating with my dedication and discipline"... and that you "could never be so perfect about your diets..." well, we are all only human and oh how the mighty can fall!!!

I am going to share with you another story of a rather comical not-so- Tracy- Anderson "By The Book" moment...

So, as I was saying - I went to We Care to have my annual cleanse.

Just prior to any and all We Care visits they encourage you to do a (minimum) three day pre-fast to prepare your body for the cellular level detox.

This constitutes of eating all fruits and vegetables, no alcohol, eliminating caffeine and drinking lots of water.
I have always followed my pre-fast instructions.
I did so mostly out of sheer enthusiasm for the experience of going and not wanting the fast to be any more difficult that necessary.

But come to think of it ...I have not really ever taken off for We Care on the heels of a complete meltdown...until THIS trip....

(a little foreshadowing , folks.. did you catch that???)

So - I won't bore you with the details of what caused the meltdown, but it was directly tied to the other sources of stress I've been experiencing over the last two years as it was , once again, linked to nightmarish commercial real estate deals that have proved to be "less than sound investments".

And although I know we are certainly not alone in this type of situation- as the entire world seems to be dealing with their own versions of financial difficulties- it is still very stressful and I can sometimes feel like we are the only ones dealing with the craziness!
 NORMALLY - I handle it with a grain of salt...but some days are worse than others and I find that  I just have to put that grain of salt around the rim of a margarita.

What can I tell you...???

I also had my 42nd birthday the day before I left for We Care...which I choose (due to fatigue and lack of desire) not to celebrate at all.

I had lots of fun offers to go to dinner and or otherwise celebrate, but I was so damn tired that I just felt more like sitting on the couch and watching a movie and doing nothing.
Instead of a birthday part I opted for a pity party.

I mean, really??? What a loser move that was...
Since I am now in my 40's and this is when people typically start lying about their age I should have realized  that I'm only going to turn 42 two or three more times in this lifetime - I should celebrate them all.

The next morning my flight left for Palm Springs at 6:00 am - so up at 3:00 am to pack and shower.
God forbid I do either of those things ahead of time....???

I drug my totally toxic, non- pre-fasted body on the plane and promptly bought one of those full size canisters of chips they sell on airlines now.

(side note: what the hell is that about??? When they used to give you free stuff, it was four peanuts in a tiny for three dollars you can buy a Sam's Club size can of potato chips or a cookie that is large enough to use as a tray table)

I washed those salty little food hugs down with a diet coke and felt my travel cankles immediately taking shape as the sodium joined forces with the cabin pressure.

Wow - I really needed to get there and start my detox before I skin split open.

Upon landing in Palm Springs I took the deepest breath you could imagine and felt the instant lift of stress the minute the sunshine hit my face!!!

This is the way I always feel the minute I get off the plane in Palm Springs (the airport is "open air", btw) and it always greets you with the wonderful smell of the dessert and mountain air - heaven!

It also has become synonymous to my senses as the sights and smells that accompany my imminent cleansing and the healthiest seven days I spend all year. It is all I can do to be patient enough to get my bags and get there to start the process!

Ahhh...We Care - my sanctuary, my sacred place of healing, my ticket to health and wellness, my...
wait a come I am in Palm Springs ,smelling the air...seeing the mountains...and...WANTING TO GO HAVE A COCKTAIL????

OMG - it's noon- on a Sunday, I'm on my way to cleanse...I DID NOT pre-fast- AT ALL... and am literally jonesing to go sit on a patio somewhere and have a very civilized meal and a big fat drink!

Well,  I shook it off, because it was such a ludicrous thought.

I am here and got up at the obscene hour of 3:00 am so I could rush to We Care and begin my cleanse and not miss a day - besides - I have a massage scheduled at 2:00... to kick off the relaxation process and that will be heaven...and THAT will be much better than having another meal and a cocktail...
I could not wait for that massage!!!

I drove the 20 or so minutes to We Care, down the meth lab rode, greeted all my friends that work there, got my bag of potions and vitamins and my schedule for the week and had just enough time to drop my bags before I went straight to my massage.

I didn't even have time to slam down my first "detox drink"... which really sets all the wheels in motion.

I can only imagine that massaging my bloated body felt like trying to massage a water balloon...if said water balloon had dry skin.

But man..did it help! I was feeling better already! AND I had a "Korean Body Splash" scheduled that night at hopefully rectify the whole lizard skin issue.

I had three hours to kill in between services...what to do with my time, I asked myself.

Should I go jump on the mini-tramp to start my lymphatic system working? should I go meditate? Walk the labyrinth? sit quietly and read? soak in the hot tub?
These were all lovely options.

Guess which one I choose????

None of the above.

I choose to get out of my Terry cloth robe...put my "street clothes" back on, get in my rental car, drive back down the meth lab road, BACK into Palm Springs, and straight to the Parker Hotel...where I promptly sat down - BY MYSELF - and ordered...wait for it...

a mother scratchin' CHEESEBURGER with TRUFFLE FRIES (with an extra side of ranch dressing for dipping the fries - duh.) guessed it...a big fat Cranberry and Vodka!!!! a big fat Vodka Cran that was so good that when I finished it... I had a another!!!

OMG- I was on the LAMB from We Care!!!!

I was sitting on the patio of the Parker Hotel -with my hair FULL of massage oil -  ALONE - drinking and waiting on a big huge cheeseburger...with truffle fries.

This really did BEG the question..."Are you shitting me???"

I was checked IN to We Care and had a massage and then LEFT We Care to go be a big cow. A big cow with greasy hair ... and no big cow friends.


That's really all any self respecting cow has to say in times such like these.


and let me go ahead and clear this up case the suspense is killing was the single best cheeseburger, fries and drink I have ever had in my life!!!!!

I mean - it was just what the doctor ordered... If the doctor was Dr Kevorkian.

I think I just wanted to sit somewhere, quietly and peacefully, acknowledge my birthday and be alone for thirty minutes so I could just "be"...
"be" a big fat cow... with a bar tab.

But it definitely scratched my itch.

I think I would have longed for that hour and those 900 (or 1900 ) calories all week long if I hadn't gone.
Although it was completely unlike me... I didn't even care!

It was literally the first time in my adult life that I have ever had a drink by myself. I could rationalize that I wasn't really by myself because at this point I was bloated into what could  at least be considered two and a half of me.

Moo twice.
I was now a small , self contained herd.

I was so completely and utterly satisfied with my glutenous indulgence that I really didn't even feel any guilty.

That was until a couple of things happened...

There were two very nice women sitting at the table next to me and they were eyeing my truffle fries.
(back off bitches...I will cut you if you make one move towards my food)
oh no - I was clearly an angry cow.

They asked if the fries were as delicious as they looked and I answered - with a huge mouthful of burgers and fries..." Oh, mm hmm, Hell ya they are".
They then began asking me what I was doing in Palm Springs.

ahhhh - the million dollar question...
With another mouthful of burger I answered.." I'm here doing my annual health cleanse".

They laughed, thinking I had made a great joke -and obviously thinking I was kidding - so after washing down my mouthful of burger with a swig of vodka cran - I said "No, I'm actually not kidding"... and then proceeded to tell them the story that I had fled the premises after checking in and would be returning as soon as I was finished eating my HUGE meal and having my drink...or drinks rather.

I thought they were going to fall off their chairs laughing. Turns out that their friend at the hotel with them was checking in to We Care the next day!!

They wanted to know all about it - about how healthy it was and how great it made me I said to them what any self respecting "health nut" would ...I said...

"I'll tell you all about it if I can bum a ciggy".

Sware...I told them all about We Care while I smoked one of their cigarettes!!!!!

A SMOKEY TREAT!!!! I had officially gone over the edge.

OMG - what was next??? some meth from the meth lab at the end of meth lab road??? (btw- there isn't really a meth lab on the We Care road, but there is a very sketchy looking trailor...just sayin')

Anyway...they were a hoot!! We shared some soul cleansing deep laughs - all at my expense, of course, and I couldn't have been happier!
I was satisfied -and simultaneously disgusted, but REALLY happy about giving in to all my indulgences... I guess sometimes you just have to let loose and let your inner cow graze a little.

With my slicked back massage oil  hair, full belly and fading little buzz I drove back to We Care - just in time to go to my Korean Body Splash!

So - what was the second embarrassing moment?? Not so embarrassing as it was funny -
I greeted my therapist for my treatment and immediately confessed where I had been and what I had done - and she laughed out loud and then said...

"First of all- that is soooo not like you and secondly - thank God you told me ...because I was really going to be worried since I knew you checked in earlier and you kind of smell like vodka"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I relaxed during my treatment and felt the weight of the world lift off my shoulders ...crawled in to my bed and slept like a rock that night.
I woke up the next day and HIT IT HARD - Detoxing, exercising , meditating and was "by the book" for the next six and a half was pure bliss.

It really did save my life...with every passing day I felt like a new person!

I EVEN did my Tracy Meta workout a couple of times -not the cardio, as they discourage strenuous cardio exercise while fasting...of course... they also discourage cheeseburgers, cocktails and cigarettes!!!!

I guess the moral of the story is this...

sometimes you just have to be a cow.

But never try to hide it - or they'll think you're a cow with a drinking problem.


I hope everyone can relate with my stumbling blocks and remember to forgive yourself when you need to take a break...enjoy it, don't feel about it guilty...and then stop being a cow.

I do believe that Tracy could even whip a cow into shape!!!

So - this cow (I'm not really a cow- I'm just sticking with the theme for theatrical purposes) is getting up tomorrow and working out the last few days and happy to be in a better place!!!!

I'm doing Meta Glut and let me tell you - I have been SORE all over again- it never does get any easier when you take too much time off.. but I know it will get better soon...
until then...
I'll keep trying!

Next I'll fill you all in on my life changing trip to South Africa and by that time I think I'll be ready to unveil my new plan of attack on finalizing the Thass reversal!!!! I will hopefully have devised my plan by then!!

This mad cow is gonna finish what she started!!!!

I would love to hear more from anyone who is doing Meta and how they are liking it and what kind of results they are achieving - and I'll pass it on to all our friends out there reading!

xoxo La

PS- a Special thank you to Rick and Stephanie for sending me to We Care this last go round - I was there to with their very talented daughter, Alexa (who is an AMAZING singer and is making a great album right now- more about her soon!) and we both loved it! It really did come at a time when I needed it and I appreciated you sending us both!
My inner cow AND my colon both say thank you!!!!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

The seven day juice fast!!! Part 1...

So... somewhere sandwiched in between a couple of meltdowns... I managed to slip off to a rather life changing sanctuary I discovered about 8 years ago - and have returned almost once a year ever since...

It is called, simply - "We Care".

It is a holistic juice fasting cleanse retreat located just outside the beautiful Palm Springs, Ca.
More specifically it is located in the not so beautiful Hot Dessert Springs, Ca... 

Even more specifically - it is located down a dirt road that you would sware lead to nothing other than  a meth lab.

I'm not kidding.

But none the less - at the end of this dreary little road is one of my favorite places on earth...We Care.

As I mentioned before - I try to go at least once a year and I never feel better - EVER- than when I leave We Care.
Why - because it is there that I embark on my annual detox... on a cellular level.

Every toxin is flushed from your body (literally flushed... and we will get to that in a minute) and it feels AMAZING!!! only really feel amazing after about the third day of not eating - because before that - while you are in a massive state of detox - you feel like poop.

And speaking of poop - you do a lot of that too. Sorry - just stating the facts!

Oddly - the "not eating" part is actually tolerable - they have you taking minerals, juices and supplements almost every hour - as well as - drinking this bizarre detox drink in the morning and evenings that puffs up in your stomach and acts as the "internal scrubber brush" while it...ummm...makes its way toward the exit.

What helps it all "find it's way to the light" , you ask... AHHHH...we've finally gotten to the real heart of the matter - Well, did I mention that you get a colonic every day you are there???

For any of you that might not know what a colonic is... I am going to try and explain it - without grossing anyone out... which is difficult ...because there is no easy way to say it...

so I'll just cut to the chase...

A colonic is when a tube is lovingly stuck up your butt and then they fill you with water.
And as they say - what goes up, must come down...sooooo the water then comes back out the tube (same tube- cause let's face it one tube is already asking a lot to tolerate) and as the water makes it's way brings all sorts of "friends" with it.

"Friends" that have been stuck to the sides of your colon for longer than you want to think about.

You can witness all your departing "friends" as they run down the tube and make their way to the sewer system- or in We Care's instance- septic system.

Sware. again... as disgusting as all this may sound - and as much as you might be thinking you would never want to see any of these little colon candies... I'm telling you you will want to see them...and it's kind of awesome.
In a nasty but train-wreck-can't-help-but-look kind of way.

After a few days - it inevitably begs the question "Ummmm - where is ALL THAT coming from ??""

well, it's like Prego, ladies and gentlemen - IT'S IN THERE!

They whole process is much more dignified than I'm making it out to be - very hygienic, very professional - but it is what it is... a tube up the butt like a damn garden hose!

You lay on your back with your knees bent and a sheet covering you and you can see the tube through an angled mirror that reflects the tube..

I affectionately call it BM TV.

This made my colon hydro therapist laugh really hard... I guess some people aren't comfortable enough about the whole thing to get a good laugh out of it - but I am not one em!!

I mean - as much as I love this place - and I do - it's WAY too easy to come up with poop camp jokes..I mean - come on!

Ah yes... The Palm Springs Tsunami as I call it. Or just Whoosh - for short...

After about five days - the colonics, in conjunction with the hydrating drinks and detoxing - "soak" off the horrible tar like substance (that has stuck to the sides of the colon and is blocking nutrients from making there way into your body) and all of the sudden these squiggly little "tar babies"(again - my term, not theirs) come out and you are inexplicably compelled to run out of your treatment and tell other guests!!!

Very odd that everyone sits around and openly discusses their "releases" but it is a common topic around We Care.

Oh, and "Take a Tip from Laura":  I would not encourage discussing it at length out of context - because - well - it gets lost in translation and is a WILDLY unpopular topic

...don't ask me how I know.

Now, I'm sure We Care is not for everyone - but here's a little story that might convince even the most skeptical ...
One year a guest at We Care emerges from her colonic and looks like she has seen a ghost. She proceeds to tell everyone that as she was in her colonic - something little and blue came out amongst her "friends" - the colonics therapist says "It kind of looks like a little high heel shoe...???"

The woman said- "OMG, I ate the blue high heel shoe of my Barbie doll...when I was 6!!!!"
She went on to add that she remembers it distinctly because she got in trouble for eating it.
She was in her late 30's at the time.

You do the math. That's a long time for something to be stuck in your colon!!!! EEEWWWWWW!

So- I would highly recommend anyone giving it a try.

You will find yourself getting more emotionally hungry than physically hungry....although by the last day everyone is usually WAY over it and ready to break the fast.

I took my mother a few years ago and she had the ALL TIME greatest We Care quote.

It was day 6 and she was really looking forward to breaking her fast, she felt amazing - but was OVER IT - so she let's out a deep sigh and simply says...

"I'm going to go brush my teeth so I can eat my toothpaste".

Mom, that still makes me laugh!!!!!

On top of all the health benefits there is also a wonderful side effect- as you might imagine- of weight loss.
I have been around 8 times - and every year I lose right around eight pounds each time!

yes, some of it comes back after you resume eating - but most of it stays off for a while - and will stay off a long time if you do not return to the old ways of eating that always cause us to all put weight we have lost back on!

Which - is exactly what I did this go round... I call it the "Re-Tox after the De-Tox"...

just the circle of life folks - out with the with the new!!!

I'm going to sign off for now and tomorrow I'm going to share with you all one of the most embarrassing stories of my life - at least the most embarrassing story of my We Care life...

It is one for the record books of gluttany.

Good grief!!!

and for the record - I'm hanging in at just below 130 - but have committed to Meta for the next few weeks and am cleaning up my eating habits again and getting ready for another big push - I'm ready to get back down to my bootcamp lean weight - I miss it!!!!

I'm hoping a three week hard core push will go a long way in shaking things up!!!

I'll take all the motivation I can get - and thanks for all the well wishes and enthusiasm about me blogging again!!!!

I can't promise everyday- because sometimes there just isn't time- but at least a couple times a week can be a lot of fun!!

So- tomorrow, more about We Care and my embarrassing story, then I'll fill you all in on South Africa - what a life changing trip!!!!

I've got lots of pictures and will share them with you all!

Glad to be back!!!

xoxo La

ALSO- WOW!! All your comments are so stinking SWEET!!! thank you so much!
I am really going to try to rally my energy and will power to start either boot camp again - or more than likely just keep rocking the Meta- and get really disciplined about it - because you all have inspired me do to so and get back in the game with you all!!!
And for the reader who wanted to know my height - I'm 5'6" - actually - I'm really 5'5" and a bout a half inch. In my brain movie I'm 5'9" and ALL LEGS... but that's really beside the point!!

Monday, April 11, 2011

wow - I didn't really MEAN to be gone for...well, months I guess...


I'm not sure exactly what happened...actually ... I know EXACTLY what happened -

I had a complete meltdown over business matters, turned 42, had a horrible sinus infection, had another breakdown, went to a 7 day holistic juice fast spa (where you don't eat for 7 DAYS!),  felt like a new person, stopped melting down, went to South Africa and worked at an orphanage (that's a game changer, right there folks) and then went on a safari....
 got the same sinus infection again...and now I'm home... least that is SOME of what I've been doing!!!

I will break it down and give you the finer details of some of the life changing events that have taken place for me - as well as - the always comical crap I somehow seem to get myself into...and there has been  a LOT of that!!!

I have worked out - A LITTLE BIT - with my meta TAM DVD - but must be honest with you all - I haven't done much... and I CAN TELL...

it's like I slowly tapered off - do to illnesses and schedules - at little at a time - and no mater how LITTLE I worked out - I still maintained ALL my results from Boot... until one day - I had a weird Nutty Professor moment - where I sware I popped back out like a piece of popcorn!!! Not all the way - not even close - but all of the sudden things were a but more wobbily and my butt and legs seemed a little more swamp ass than before ... you know  - just a little backsliding!

Now- I have STAYED UNDER 130!!! which is HUGE for me - but I have obviously compromised my muscle tone and that's no good!

OH- I'm lying a little - (not on purpose- I've just been gone for so long that I do not know where to I beg for forgiveness first - or just get right down to catching everyone up and asking how they are doing????... decisions, decisions...)

I'll stick with stats first and then get to the graveling ...

SO - I did pop over 130 ONCE - DANG!!! and that was the day I got home from South Africa...
I am sorry to report that I ate a small portion of their lovely country and brought it home with me...on the back of my legs.

BUT- I got it back off immediately - and am back focused and ready to firm things back up and rock it out....

This year has been so full of surprises for me - and it's only April... yowza... more on those in the days to come..

for now - I wanted to write to you all and go ahead and see if anyone even cared if I came back or not!!! There were so many sweet messages from you all and I really appreciate it!

I have to be honest with you - the longer I went without writing - the more hesitant I was to write again ...for fear everyone would throw canned tomatoes and tell me  I suck for dropping off the face of the earth!!! Which - would be totally fair... and PLEASE don't think that I have such a high regard for myself that I think anyone's life was affected at all because they could not read my Blog - I PROMISE I wouldn't think that much of myself - but I do know that some of us felt like we were in this fight together - and then right about the time I told you I "got your back" I ditched you to get your ass kicked all by yourself!!!
I have all the faith in the world that everyone was able to carry on and rock out their TAM workouts and diets without me ... but I did miss telling you all about my struggles...and having a laugh with you all over them!

But... enough about that - if you missed me - THANKS and I'm SO SORRY I ran off...
if you didn't miss me - well, then - YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF - what if something had happened to me??? What if I had been hurt? or WORSE... what if I had GAINED WEIGHT???!!!!

My God - have you no heart???? What's wrong with you people????


ok... I think I'm going to be short and sweet today - and just break the ice and see if anyone's still out there... if you are - I'd love to start writing to you again - I have lots to say and have navigated some really tough waters lately and will gladly share all the nasty details with you!

I am also... (gulp) thinking about another round of BOOT!... I have some friends that are really wanting to do it and want my help and for me to do it with them... and I'm ACTUALLY thinking about it . I'll keep you posted...

In the mean time- I did Meta Glut this morning with the Meta cardio - both were more difficult than they should have been...but that's what happens when you let yourself backslide...

I'm going to get after it again tomorrow - and every day after that - until I recover from my travels and get rid of this vacation ass I'm toting around these days....
Fingers crossed it won't take long!

I really have missed you all and CANNOT believe how many people have been reading and checking in without me even posting any new blogs... WOW! thanks for that!

That could also be a very good indicator that I talk WAY too much...

but I'm going to choose to focus on the positive -
and that's me hoping if I start writing again - someone will still care!!!!!

It's good to be back - even if I'm talking to myself! Lord knows it wouldn't be the first time!!!

All my love and more details soon....

every day's a new starting point....

xoxo La

Thursday, February 3, 2011


oh-ho-ho-HO! Ohhhhhhhh!!!!!!

that's right arrived "Sweet Cheeks in a box" DVD package from the brand new Tracy Anderson Method clan...

and it couldn't have arrived at a more perfect time!

For those of you unfamiliar with her new plan...

it is a series of custom designed workouts for four different body types...
each focusing on a different type of problem area...
A. Abcentric
B. Glutcentric
C. Hipcentric
D. Omnicentric

in other words:

A. beer gut
B. swamp ass
C. saddle bags
D. all of the above!

It's genius!!!!

Cuts down on the time spent working areas that aren't eroding on our bodies as fast as others!!!

I cannot wait to check it out.
I haven't even read the plan to get the full scoop yet, as I have only had time to paper cut the fool out of my finger when I was ripping into the box.

So, with blood already in place on the DVD (symbolic, don't ya think?)
I will read the plan- then plan the work...then work the plan!!!!!! whew! you follow that?!

I  (shocker) bought the GLUTCENTRIC plan...

because it only took me reading her description once for me to know which one I needed...

Glutcentric..."We will lift your butt, tone down and back fat, create one panty line, get rid of cellulite, and create a clear distinction between your lifted butt and thighs."

OMG!!!!!! how perfect is that?????????

It's a THASSMASTER IN A BOX!'s so on!

I mean, that's quite a promise - and if I hadn't seen Tracy keep her promises during my boot camp experience - well, then I would think she was crazy...

but she DID keep her word...could she do it again?

Can I do it again?

you know - interesting how close the following two words are...


Most plans offer HYPE  - but Tracy backs her words up and that gives me HOPE!!!!!

I am totally serious when I tell you that I have HOPE - and that goes along way - HOPE that I can really have a booty I like!
I never have, and certainly thought I was only going to watch it slowly slide down my legs and get worse every year!

I thought that - as recently as last October 1st...THEN...I started my Tracy Anderson Method DVD and thirty days later I was amazed!!!
I didn't have anything close to a perfect body - but the amazement came in the form of HOPE - I couldn't believe how much I changed my body in such a short time and that gave me HOPE that I could do things that I thought I could never do...

So- Sweet Cheeks...look out!!!!
I've already got your nighty and your robe...

Now I'm going to try and get your onion ass!!!!! and if I do...I may just go after your job, too!

haahah - ok, I might be getting a little ahead of myself.

but - dare to dream...

I got the tools today in the mail to get this party started and I'm guessing that Monday will be my kickoff date...although it might be the following Monday depending on what I need to do to get ready for the Metamophosis!!!!

After all- I have 7 of my best friends coming in town next weekend...and there MIGHT be a little drinking going on...and by MIGHT I mean it in the way that Chicago MIGHT have gotten a little snow this week.
I'll report in on when I'm kicking off the BIG PLAN - journey to lose the THASS...part duex!

If anyone else has their plan and wants to start with me - let's do it!

I'm really excited to see what happens next....

come on Tracy...don't fail me now!

I HOPE everyone has had an amazing day - and that your weekend gets even better!

By nice to yourself and remember - you're prettier than you think.
Beautiful, in fact...

don't be afraid to be as beautiful as you are - inside and out - and if anyone finds that threatening, then just softly - and with a smile - tell them to...

I'm a hottie who's gettin hotter all the time!!!!!!!

xoxo La

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

I have found the ultimate inspiration photo!!!

Is this for real....??????
I ask you????

Is it humanly possible for someone to have an ass THIS GOOD...????!!!!

I will be putting this woman's photo on my mirror so I can look at it when I workout...that way every time I get tired and want to quit my workout I might take a minute and DARE TO DREAM!

Here's the really funny...borderline cruel thing about it...
The little silk number she's wearing is the one that goes with the robe I bought!!!!!

Hold on- give me a minute to stop laughing!!!!!!!!!

Holy Sweet Baby Jesus - that is NOT what it would look like if I were to put it on and stretch my arms over my head!!!!!

I am laughing so hard right now at the thought of what it might look like if I were in this photo!
It would NOT look like her..and since I don't know "her" name - let's just call her Sweet Cheeks.

Sweet Cheeks - You , my dear, have the ultimate onion ass! and -hey- way to make a living with it!

Well done, Sweet Cheeks, well done.

 I can PROMISE you all this...if I can get my hiney to look anything - ANYTHING - even close to hers - I too will walk around with my arms over my head in very short silk night gowns!!!

There would be one major difference between Sweet Cheeks and myself... I would NOT be looking straight ahead- I would be  looking over my shoulder so I wouldn't miss the look of complete and utter awe on the face of whoever happened to be behind me!!!

For the rest of the women in the world who, like me, might not look like ole' Sweet Cheeks in the photo above -
I have this to say...maybe she has a terribly unattractive face!!!!!... PLEASE someone tell me she has a terribly unattractive face!!!

...or maybe chronic halitosis... is it wrong of me to wish her a dog face with dog breath??

ok, you're right...that's not very nice. I take it back.

What about a hammer toe?


I'm sorry - I'm making myself laugh tonight.

I'm kidding - I'm sure she is gorgeous, smart, and kind and has lovely breath.


Maybe she's a hooker.

Hell, I'd pay to see that ass in person - so that one doesn't really make me any feel better about myself.
Because now I'm paying to see women's hineys.

 Well... I'm down to hoping it's excellent photo shop work!

OR.... MAYBE...she does Tracy Anderson Method!!!

Ok! now we are talking - a way we can all strive to get a trunk with NO junk!!!

I am going to actually look at this photo every day and do a few more leg lifts, a little more cardio and just see what would happen if I really tried a little harder....

Let's put Tracy to the test!!!

I think she is the only one that has come up with a way to at least GUIDE us toward looking more like Sweet Cheeks and ... and less like the Hounds of Thasskerville.

I posted this picture for several reasons...

First... because, well -WOW...nice ass.

Secondly...because I found it hysterical that she's wearing the nightie / robe set that I just bought!!!

But more importantly because I realized over the last few days that one of the reasons I have been struggling to get back in my workout groove is because I wasn't focusing on the REASONS I WANT to be back in my workout groove...

read:  I needed to focus and restate my GOALS.

When I was doing the Tracy Anderson 30 day method - I had a was to finish the thirty days.

Then I determined my NEW GOAL would be to stay under 130 for a year... which is going well -btw!
Still under 130.

HOWEVER... my motivation to workout on a regular basis has to be focused on more than weight... it has to be focused on health and RESULTS...

it has to be focused on what I'm really trying to achieve...

and I'm trying to achieve what SWEET CHEEKS has achieved...or what she was born with...and that is a nice little round tush that isn't sliding down the back of my thighs and frowning.

So- I am a re-born, focused girl!!!!

and I will - I WILL - focus on results - and not just weight - because although I have stayed under 130 - and am proud of that - the scale does not matter to me as much as RESULTS matter to me.

I would not look any better in that nightie right now if I had a Sharpie and wrote "weight = 128" on the back of my leg!!!

So - after a few weeks of craziness behind me..and truthfully - a few more in my near future - I am re-committing myself to my RESULTS, not my weight (well, weight too - but merely as a measurement, more than a single minded focus) and I'm going to remind myself everyday why I WANT to workout, WHY I'm working out and re-direct my thinking!!!!!!

If that doesn't work...
well, then I'm taking this photo to a few really good plastic surgeons!

I think it will work!

Ok people....

My trip to Bora Bora is in 6 months...

My goal - simply put- ...  is to have my friends call me Sweet Cheeks!

I hope you all are having wonderful days and are safe and warm - especially if you're in the parts of the world that are being effected by the winter storms!

and let's all say a prayer for peace in Cairo!

Thanks for letting me be my crazy, silly, nut job self!

Lastly - I have ordered my new Tracy Metamorphosis DVD!!! I can't wait for it to get here - I'll give you one guess which one I ordered!!!! You guessed it - the butt one!
We are sooooooooo gonna put that one to the challenge like we did boot camp!!!!

I can't wait!

Night night -
love you all...

xoxo La

AKA: the Sweet Cheeks starter kit.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

"Sand in my KY..."

I bet that got your attention!

hahah! Well, after being M.I.A. for two weeks- TWO WEEKS ( sorry about that)...I am back to explain my absence and hopefully...get back in the groove.

After thinking about how to explain my mysterious departure and crawl out of my shame spiral and beg for forgiveness for disappearing without so much as a word - a friend of mine summed it up perfectly.

"Sometimes life gets overwhelming and it's ok if you have to take some time to get the sand out of your KY."

Well, after I stopped laughing at THAT visual - I thought - "well said, well said indeed."

And for the record - it is a metaphor.
If it were literal, at least I might be at the beach!

So...deep breath...let's get the diet facts out of the way and then we can really dish on the poo storm I've been in for the last two weeks.

BELIEVE IT OR NOT...still under 130! Hoovering around 127 -128.

Although it's a little more jiggly and less cut than before- but I have been making lame efforts to maintain some decent (and decent is being generous) eating habits and a decent effort (again- I'm being really generous here) toward working out.

and, btw - THANK the LORD I am under 130 without too much effort- because going over 130 might have thrown me over the edge!

so- what exactly is the sand in my KY?

Mostly life in general...but more recently it's been dealing with things that far exceed  my maturity level.

Commercial Real Estate deals with multiple partners in each deal, multiple banks in each deal, multiple nightmares in each deal...blah, blah, blah.

They say when life gives you lemons, make lemon aide!

But life didn't give me lemons- it gave me horrible investment opportunities ...and it's hard to make a juice out of that.

Although.... if you did- I bet it would taste like TURNIP GREEN JUICE. Just sayin'...

I won't bore you with all the details - but it's been a very long and exhausting process of trying to understand them, pay them, deal with them and I'm OVER IT. This particular "sand" has been going on for a couple of years now. Ugh.

It's like I've been living in a John Grisham legal thriller staring Tom Cruise...and I'm Tom Cruise...and I'm running REALLY fast - you know like he does in pretty much EVERY film he's ever made - and I can't quite run fast enough to get to it all.

Oh...and then I discovered that we had a MOUSE in the house.

Ummmm.... I don't do rodents.

I wrote James a note that says "please make the little mouse go away in a manner that I might think he simply choose to move on to another home. This is one of the primary reasons I got married. So I wouldn't have to deal with pest control. Ever. Love, your chicken shit wife."

He laughed and agreed to "quietly escort him out of the house".

I much prefer life to be all about working out, feeling great, looking great, "having to buy new jeans because I've lost so much weight", family, friends, fun... oh, and working - I don't mind working - I actually really enjoy my gigs, as long as it doesn't take over my life completely - I enjoy the work I do!

I also- when given the choice - MUCH prefer - did I say MUCH PREFER - having cash on hand to buy things I really don't need, but somehow rationalize... rather than - giving it to banks to pay down commercial loans.

Hmmmm...a new Silk Kimono Robe and Fabulous Shoes...OR...send some random bank another HUGE check because it's due or because one of our partners can't make their payment....

Ummmmm...Sorry...I'm going for the robe!!!!!

Call me crazy. 

However..I did say, WHEN given a choice. And for a long time now- we haven't really been given a choice.

Although I did buy that robe.

(It went on sale - I couldn't afford NOT to buy that robe...I mean - I WAS MAKING MONEY buying that robe since it was on sale...right? I mean - a girl has needs, right? ...and the robe IS smokin hot. Just sayin...)

Soooooooo....that's where I've been for the last two weeks...sitting in the corner, sucking my thumb, in a kick ass, obserdly expensive silk kimono robe...terrified that I would have a mouse sighting.

These are good times.

(did I mention the robe has gorgeous lace on the sleeves? please don't judge me- I needed a retail hug)

I have fluctuated between days of Helen Ready inspired "I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR" -
where I jumped out of bed and was ready to take on the world....

and days where I literally felt incapable of doing anything because of feeling so overwhelmed.

Seriously, one day I knew if the doorbell rang I KNEW it would be Publishers Clearing House and the very next day if it rang I KNEW it would be someone holding a sickle wearing a less than kick ass robe.

Then.... are you ready for the cherry on top of this shit sundae...drum roll please....

I wrapped up the last two weeks of stress with - well, what else...the stomach flu!!!!

SO PITIFUL!!!! at this point it's really getting funny... pathetic...but funny...

It all came to a head when one night I was sick at my stomach over stressing about all this non sense, AND sick at my stomach - literally- from the flu - and couldn't sleep. I was laying in bed with tears streaming down my cheeks on to my pillow from the stress/flu combo.

 I was wondering if things will ever get better, easier, "back to normal" ...

...and it was at that exact moment when I hear the worlds loudest "THWAP"...

you guessed it...
the mouse trap going off.


It's three in the morning. I'm sick. I'm tired. I feel depressed.... I'm crying in my pillow and I was actually awake to hear the crushing blow coming from the kitchen. I felt it in my bones...geez....

I am fairly sure that my reaction was something along the lines of ...

Then I realized I was going to have to get up to vomit again...from the flu, not the mouse.

NOW....PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARE LAUGHING RIGHT NOW! - because this is grade A pitiful stuff here and I hope and pray you are laughing hysterically at me and not feeling sorry for me - trust me - I took care of feeling sorry for myself - no need for you to do the same!!!

(sidenote: I insisted James try the "humane" traps that catch the little mouse alive and then you release them outside [side note to side note - James was not happy about this] anyway, the reason the humane traps are cause they don't work!!!!...that's why they are humane - just wanted you to know we tried to save his little vermon life first, sorry little mouse. RIP.)

So, there you have it - life, stomach flu and pest control.

How pitiful is this story????? seriously pathetic!!!!!

HOWEVER...I'm nothing if not terribly resilient!!!!

soooooo, I am feeling MUCH better - I seem to be all over the tummy bug thing and have had a few days of positive-attitude-driven productivity and the  calvery is coming!

Who is the calvery, you ask...?
Good question - it's a guy that I now refer to (respectfully, of course) as The Bank Whisperer.
He's coming in to take this scritchy scratchy mess off our plates and deal with it for us!!!!

Double YEAH!!!!

Why didn't we do that in the first place, you ask...?
another good question - well, have we all forgetten  that I am a CONTROL FREAK and have been insisting that "I could take care of this"  - " I got it" - "I'll deal with it"

but hey- guess what? "I DON'T GOT IT".

I don't even WANT to GOT IT anymore!!!!
That takes a lot to get me to say uncle, calf rope, mercy - to just say -someone please help me.

I know - we've talked about that before - why is it so damn hard for me- for so many of us - to ask for help????

I have no idea.

Is it because sometimes when I do ask, I get let down?
Is it because if I don't ask then I can continue to act like a martyr?
Is it because I think someone else won't be able to do it "like I can"?

I'm not sure - but I do know this-

I cracked.

I asked for help - I admitted defeat - I cried Uncle.


It's a new one for me - but I gotta tell you - I'm really excited about the help being on the way!!!!!

This could be the beginning of a whole new thing for me - handing it over...letting someone else try and make lemon aide out of turnip greens!

I may take to this like a duck to water.

I mean, it's not like James hasn't been trying to take it off my plate for a while now...I was just fighting him and saying I could handle it.

Oh, I handled it - I handled it right on back over to him!

ok- so that's what I've been doing! sound fun?
it has been...if you're idea of fun is a buttermilk enema.

But.... I did manage to stay under 130...workout a few times a week...and most importantly...I did not go on a three state killing spree.
So - I got that goin' for me!

I am very excited to report that I am going to get up in the morning and workout, and start my day off on the right foot and focus on ALL THINGS POSITIVE AND GREAT AND WONDERFUL...
and I'll let you know if that lasts past noon!!!


no- I'm kidding - it hasn't been ALL doom and gloom - but I know we've all gone through little spots where it FELT like it was ALL doomy and , like I said before - 

I'll always be honest with what I'm dealing with - if for no other reason - that you won't feel like you're the only on who has to weather a few poo storms!

Ahhhhhhh - but I did miss you all!

I'm ready to try again to find a really great groove - I hope you all have been in one - if you have struggled to get back into it ...
I'm right there with you!

but it's never too late to jump on the train headed for Happy Town ... or Thasslessville -
that's where I'm headed (with any luck)...if you want to go with me!!!

Here we go...

All Aboard!!!!!! finally...

I missed talking to you guys!
I hope you're still out there and you'll have me back!
and thanks to everyone that sent sweet little "are you out there?, are you ok?, haven't heard from you in a while" notes - it's probably what kept me working out a little and not eating the house from stress!!!!

Thanks for missing me!

I'm going to go get in my robe now...
night night!!!


Saturday, January 15, 2011's gettting better all the time!

I rocked it out today!! up at 5:15- working out at 6:00 - doing mat dvd and cardio - increasing my cardio by about 10 extra minutes... to right around 50 minutes.
Weighing in this morning ....126! So , the holiday weight is falling right back with just a little effort!


Thank goodness - today really reminded me WHY I am doing all this...because I want to.

I caught myself thinking about things I "had to do" and remembered that I wanted to do these things...because I want to feel good about myself, fit in my clothes and be proud of myself.

Reminding yourself that your workout plan is a choice...that really helps!

You know what else helps? Watching 'The Break Up' and seeing Jennifer Aniston's ass when she walks by Vince Vaughn and she's in the buff...that also helps.
My lord- that is the ass I want!!!!!!

I couldn't help noticing this morning while working out that my current tushy seems to be a little bummed out.
(get it - "bummed" out?) ...what do I mean by that? I mean it looks sad...kind of like the sides of it are frowning...I want my arse to SMILE!!!!

I want the sides of it to sort of curl upwards - like it's smiling.
yeah- I want that!!!!!!

Currently - the sides of it are frowning ...or not so much frowning as going straight out to the ...come on Tracy Anderson - let's turn that frown UPSIDE DOWN!!!!

I want an ONION ASS!!! - in case you don't know that joke - an onion ass is an ass that brings tears to a mans eyes!!!

Still makes me laugh...but then again I am infinitely immature.

So...that is now officially part of my goal!!! NO OLD MAN SKIN ON MY STOMACH...and to have an ONION ASS.
 MY Lord - this is gonna be fun!!!

I have been doing fairly well this week and feel like I'm gaining a head of speed to finally be back in my full on groove - but it's really been hard to get back into my great eating and solid workouts.

I decided today that although the weight is coming back off - and I'm thrilled for that - I am going to have to really get back to business for a few weeks at least - in order to regain the lean feelings I had prior to Christmas...
What I'm noticing is that although my eating and workouts are MUCH better - they are really right in line with maintaining...not losing.

When my goal is too maintain - my current "pretty good" will do just fine - but to actually lose and tone more I am going to crank it up a bit ...

makes sense, I guess.

Although I much prefer a world where I can slack off for weeks and not suffer ANY consequences and then put in minimal effort and regain ALL results.
Please let me know - immediately - if any of you know where that world is...for I will move next week.

In the mean time - I will continue living in my current world and abide by it's crappy rules!!!!!

So - a few of you have asked some questions....
Let's start some answering, shall we?

1. Did I switch any of the meals during the 30 day method?

Yes I did. I tried to do every meal exactly as Tracy said, but there were a few times I switched one days breakfast for anothers, or a lunch or dinner - but ALWAYS one from the meal plan and always one from the same meal slot. Lunch for a lunch, dinner for a dinner, etc.

2. Did I drink Coffee?

Yes I did. Now, before any of you gasp and freak out that the "BY THE BOOK" girl drank a cup of coffee every day during the 30 day plan...I never realized I wasn't supposed to drink coffee during the 30 days!! I read that darn book four times and NEVER read that we weren't supposed to drink coffee...however - I saw an interview with Tracy after I was done and she said in the interview - no coffee!!! I almost fell over.
So, it looks like I was violating the rules - but I guess it didn't hurt anything...? I did NOT use ANY dairy in my coffee - EVER.
I had one cup in the morning with a tiny splash of almond milk or soy milk and that was all.
I also occasionally had a second cup at the office - again, no dairy - usually just black.

and I gotta tell ya - cutting out the coffee might have just killed me.

So - I certainly can't endorse having it now that I know better and have heard it's a no-no straight from the boss ladies mouth... but I'm kind of thankful I didn't know it at the time, because I love coffee like a construction worker loves Mountain Dew, Like Sonny loved Cher, like a rat loves a Cheeto - I mean to tell you I LOVE ME SOME COFFEE!!!!! last answer is exactly the kind of thing that drives my husband crazy about me - he would read this and say..."why didn't you just answer  'yes, I had one cup a day.' "

Well, duh...where's the fun in that????

Anyhoo - moving on....

Tomorrow I am going to try and make an emotional plunge into my embarrassingly large closet and PURGE IT!!!
I have decided it's time to commit to getting rid of some things that are TOO BIG (yeah!) and have some faith that I won't need them anymore.

I'm hoping that as I throw out old things my stomach will get the message that we no longer have a use for all the "extra" in our do we, old man skin?

you hear me's ok to run along now...find some where else to be, your services are no longer needed here!

I know what that crusty little old man will say - "oh yah - looks like you needed me to be there for you when you were packing it on over the holidays"
Oh shut up. No one likes a know it all.
well, that was then - this is now and I'm done with him, the skin, the big girl jeans and I am going to lighten my load!

I'll let you know how it out my closet could offer some GREAT photo ops!!!

I might go bowling with my friend Eric instead.
hahaha - so many choices, so little time.

Hitting the hay now...up and at it again tomorrow - going for a workout everyday until I see the holiday-schmoliday jiggly-wigglies back off the ole Thass!


Tuesday, January 11, 2011

What the ...???? Where did I go?????

wow...where have I been?

Sorry everyone...
I'm not sure how the last six days evaporated on me...but they sure did.

actually - I know exactly how it happened.

Here's the breakdown....
last we talked I was ON IT!!!!...kind of...turned out I was really NOT on it!
unless you're talking about my period... because if that's the case...I WAS SOOOOO ON IT!

and as it can happen from time to time...I was such a big ole nightmare this go round.

See this girl...she's really sweet...and normal...and non-hormonal...last week, I was not this girl.

...last week I was THIS girl. The only thing missing were a few creepy flying monkeys.

I'm not sure how any of your hormones rearrange your personalities... but for me it usually takes the form of a fire breathing, edgy, "now's-not-the-time-to talk-about-this sensitive-issue-but-we're-damn-sure-gonna-talk-about-it-right-now" kind of wife.
Someone please shot me.

For the sake of the general public and certainly for the sake of my poor husband...just shoot me.

So the first night I was planning on blogging - I choose to basically pick a fight with my husband instead. We NEVER fight...and this wasn't really a fight as much as it was me being a little cottin' pickin' ninny mugger and wanting to "settle" some things that were bothering me.

You know the kind of things...the kind of things that cant wait until morning to be discussed even though they won't be bothering me the next morning when my hormones aren't RAGING through my mind and body anymore. Those kind of things.

Soooooo, he was sweet enough to listen as I ranted on and on about - oh, that's right...I can't even remember now - and I finally let him go to bed.
I, however, stayed up REALLY late and continued to feel sorry for myself for sooooooo many incredibly important reasons...oh wait...I can't remember what they are now either...they must have been REALLY life altering.

...or not.

HOW IS IT POSSIBLE that an otherwise NORMAL, RATIONAL, LOVING, HAPPY myself, can turn into such a living nightmare...and then back again to normal....
well, I have no answer - if I did this would be the BLOG OF THE CENTURY!!!!

I have, however, come up with a possible solution...a new wave in home design..and it could change the course of all of our lives.

It is going to be a padded room with a pad lock and a small slit in the door to slide food and water will be for me- and all women like me- to quarantine themselves during their hormonally induced craziness.

I will call it the Bedroom Isolation Time-of-the-month Caused by Hormones Quarters...

or B.I.T.C.H. Quarters - for short.

I think it will offer a HUGE return on your home investment and possibly reduce the divorce rate by half.

Seriously- I think I'm on to something here.

"Where's mommy?"
"She's in the bitch quarters...she'll be out on Monday"
"Oh, Okay. Hey Daddy, please don't let her out early this time."

Just slide me some Tracy Anderson Method DVD's, a few almonds, some lemon water and an US weekly...and I'll be fine in about 24 - 48 hours!!!!! that's what happened to the first night... (side note: I stayed up so late feeling pissy about things I can no longer recall that I couldn't get out of bed the next day to workout. well done me.)

The second day I typed a long blog all about me being a nightmare and then couldn't upload it to the blog because of some technical issue with the server on as I was still in the "dangerous hormonal zone" - you can imagine how I took that little nugget.

Good news, bad news...
Good news...I didn't throw my computer in the fireplace.
Bad news...I didn't post a blog. Even worse news..I'm fairly confident I gave myself a food hug.
Both nights.

The next morning I was leaving for a fun two day trip with some friends...
AND... since I was in a complete shame spiral over my lost days of pouting and EATING...I got up at 4:00AM so I could workout before I left town!!!


Until I got to my destination...then I was sooooooo NOT BACK ON IT!

I was, however, having a great time with my husband and my friends and enjoying the amazing hospitality of our host and hostess - who REALLY know how to roll out the red carpet for their guests.

We ate and drank and played and had a ball!!!!
Then I was back home in less than 48 hours...and exhausted!!!

That was Saturday.

I crashed and was all excited to rock it out on Sunday...cause I was ready to get ON IT!!! (where have I heard that before???)

so...Sunday morning I wake up and am all ready to hit it...except it had dumped snow!!!!! I mean really snowed!!!!
So, I basically did nothing.

If you're asking yourself what does the snow have to do with heating up the upstairs and me working out indoors...?
Well, has NOTHING to do with it - I just decided to be lazy and blame it on the snow.

Try and keep up, people.

My goodness, if being exhausted by listening to my own excuses burned calories - I would freakin' TINY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Monday on the way... I made it to the store so I could get the right groceries and prepare to - wait for it - GET ON IT!!!!!

But this time...I was serious - and ready- and was not leaving town again - and (this one being the most important) I could really start to tell that I had been slacking for too long in the form of a little return of the Thass!!!
and that is unacceptable!!!!


I rocked out BC mat DVD 1 with 40 minutes of BC cardio. Ate well, guzzled water...felt better!!!!

Today... lather, rinse, repeat...I did the same routine and am feeling like Stella finally got her groove back!!!!!!!

So, did I have to cash in another coupon??? NO WAY, JOSE!

although I am still hovering around 128-129 ( i dropped to 127 really fast last week - but bounced up a little bit on my trip) and that's way too close for comfort...I am finally ON IT! and will keep it up and rock it out from this point on!

Sorry for the false "I'M ON IT" alarm last week...
and that's not why I fell off the face of the earth and didn't blog about it- it was do to the perfect storm of technical problems, hormonal problems, travel and weather conflicts...and me just losing a little time.

Whew...I can't imagine why any of you would care... but God love ya - some of you do!!! So many of you checked on me and asked where I had disappeared to...and if I was coming back.
That is so incredibly sweet of you all!!!!

Although I am continuing to have large doses of life coming at me pretty fast these days - I find that my sanity is maintained by making time for myself in the mornings and doing my workout.

I also think more clearly and feel better when I'm eating clean foods.

I found that the several weeks of holiday slacking- on working out and eating too many too rich foods- and I could finally feel it around my waste and on my Thass ...and for the first time since boot camp - my jeans were starting to feel tight!!! UGH!!!!'s the great news... in just two days I feel better and am resetting my habits AND - they best old "low weight" of now my new "high weight" new ceiling!!!!
How cool is that????????

All because of Tracy Anderson!!!!

So, now that the "re-entry" phase of the new year has past... I am finally ready to settle into it and find my routine and stick to it!!!

I also... I think just to punish myself...took more pictures to use as my new "before" photos - I will display those ugly little critters in about a month or you guys can see my" backsliders blues / post holiday damage" photos compared to a month or two of recovery....

I'm talking I took NASTY photos...I took ones of the old man skin and of my CELLULITE!!!!
Did I really just admit this on the Internet?????

Well, that what I get for leaving you guys high and dry for a week!!!!

Now, I am back and focused on finishing what I started -
 I shall... in this order...and with complete discipline...

1. Recover from holiday indulgences and return to 124 safety zone...and maybe even a little less! 
2. Continue maintaining lower weight so I can say bye-bye to my old man skin and hopefully ...all traces of cellulite.

That's a seriously lofty goal!
But I'm going for it!!!!!

After seeing some of the above mentioned return to my body - I'm determined, more than ever - to get it off - all of it off...and keep it off!!!!

In all fairness - it was slow to return - I really had to over eat and under exercise for several weeks in a row before I saw any signs of it returning - so that's promising!!!!

I am now.... ON IT! SWARE!!!!

I'm going to leave you with a joke (aimed directly at myself....)

"What do you get when you cross a woman with PMS with a GPS????"

" A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!!!!!!!!!"


I'll get to answering questions tomorrow for all of you who are sending questions on your boot camp that I've begged for your forgiveness!!!!

Sweet dreams...and don't forget to tell yourself how beautiful you are, how much you appreciate all that you do for yourself, and that when you fall's ok. It really is...tomorrow is a new day - and a new chance to be ON IT!!!!