Sunday, April 17, 2011

The seven day juice fast!!! Part 1...

So... somewhere sandwiched in between a couple of meltdowns... I managed to slip off to a rather life changing sanctuary I discovered about 8 years ago - and have returned almost once a year ever since...

It is called, simply - "We Care".

It is a holistic juice fasting cleanse retreat located just outside the beautiful Palm Springs, Ca.
More specifically it is located in the not so beautiful Hot Dessert Springs, Ca... 

Even more specifically - it is located down a dirt road that you would sware lead to nothing other than  a meth lab.

I'm not kidding.

But none the less - at the end of this dreary little road is one of my favorite places on earth...We Care.

As I mentioned before - I try to go at least once a year and I never feel better - EVER- than when I leave We Care.
Why - because it is there that I embark on my annual detox... on a cellular level.

Every toxin is flushed from your body (literally flushed... and we will get to that in a minute) and it feels AMAZING!!! only really feel amazing after about the third day of not eating - because before that - while you are in a massive state of detox - you feel like poop.

And speaking of poop - you do a lot of that too. Sorry - just stating the facts!

Oddly - the "not eating" part is actually tolerable - they have you taking minerals, juices and supplements almost every hour - as well as - drinking this bizarre detox drink in the morning and evenings that puffs up in your stomach and acts as the "internal scrubber brush" while it...ummm...makes its way toward the exit.

What helps it all "find it's way to the light" , you ask... AHHHH...we've finally gotten to the real heart of the matter - Well, did I mention that you get a colonic every day you are there???

For any of you that might not know what a colonic is... I am going to try and explain it - without grossing anyone out... which is difficult ...because there is no easy way to say it...

so I'll just cut to the chase...

A colonic is when a tube is lovingly stuck up your butt and then they fill you with water.
And as they say - what goes up, must come down...sooooo the water then comes back out the tube (same tube- cause let's face it one tube is already asking a lot to tolerate) and as the water makes it's way brings all sorts of "friends" with it.

"Friends" that have been stuck to the sides of your colon for longer than you want to think about.

You can witness all your departing "friends" as they run down the tube and make their way to the sewer system- or in We Care's instance- septic system.

Sware. again... as disgusting as all this may sound - and as much as you might be thinking you would never want to see any of these little colon candies... I'm telling you you will want to see them...and it's kind of awesome.
In a nasty but train-wreck-can't-help-but-look kind of way.

After a few days - it inevitably begs the question "Ummmm - where is ALL THAT coming from ??""

well, it's like Prego, ladies and gentlemen - IT'S IN THERE!

They whole process is much more dignified than I'm making it out to be - very hygienic, very professional - but it is what it is... a tube up the butt like a damn garden hose!

You lay on your back with your knees bent and a sheet covering you and you can see the tube through an angled mirror that reflects the tube..

I affectionately call it BM TV.

This made my colon hydro therapist laugh really hard... I guess some people aren't comfortable enough about the whole thing to get a good laugh out of it - but I am not one em!!

I mean - as much as I love this place - and I do - it's WAY too easy to come up with poop camp jokes..I mean - come on!

Ah yes... The Palm Springs Tsunami as I call it. Or just Whoosh - for short...

After about five days - the colonics, in conjunction with the hydrating drinks and detoxing - "soak" off the horrible tar like substance (that has stuck to the sides of the colon and is blocking nutrients from making there way into your body) and all of the sudden these squiggly little "tar babies"(again - my term, not theirs) come out and you are inexplicably compelled to run out of your treatment and tell other guests!!!

Very odd that everyone sits around and openly discusses their "releases" but it is a common topic around We Care.

Oh, and "Take a Tip from Laura":  I would not encourage discussing it at length out of context - because - well - it gets lost in translation and is a WILDLY unpopular topic

...don't ask me how I know.

Now, I'm sure We Care is not for everyone - but here's a little story that might convince even the most skeptical ...
One year a guest at We Care emerges from her colonic and looks like she has seen a ghost. She proceeds to tell everyone that as she was in her colonic - something little and blue came out amongst her "friends" - the colonics therapist says "It kind of looks like a little high heel shoe...???"

The woman said- "OMG, I ate the blue high heel shoe of my Barbie doll...when I was 6!!!!"
She went on to add that she remembers it distinctly because she got in trouble for eating it.
She was in her late 30's at the time.

You do the math. That's a long time for something to be stuck in your colon!!!! EEEWWWWWW!

So- I would highly recommend anyone giving it a try.

You will find yourself getting more emotionally hungry than physically hungry....although by the last day everyone is usually WAY over it and ready to break the fast.

I took my mother a few years ago and she had the ALL TIME greatest We Care quote.

It was day 6 and she was really looking forward to breaking her fast, she felt amazing - but was OVER IT - so she let's out a deep sigh and simply says...

"I'm going to go brush my teeth so I can eat my toothpaste".

Mom, that still makes me laugh!!!!!

On top of all the health benefits there is also a wonderful side effect- as you might imagine- of weight loss.
I have been around 8 times - and every year I lose right around eight pounds each time!

yes, some of it comes back after you resume eating - but most of it stays off for a while - and will stay off a long time if you do not return to the old ways of eating that always cause us to all put weight we have lost back on!

Which - is exactly what I did this go round... I call it the "Re-Tox after the De-Tox"...

just the circle of life folks - out with the with the new!!!

I'm going to sign off for now and tomorrow I'm going to share with you all one of the most embarrassing stories of my life - at least the most embarrassing story of my We Care life...

It is one for the record books of gluttany.

Good grief!!!

and for the record - I'm hanging in at just below 130 - but have committed to Meta for the next few weeks and am cleaning up my eating habits again and getting ready for another big push - I'm ready to get back down to my bootcamp lean weight - I miss it!!!!

I'm hoping a three week hard core push will go a long way in shaking things up!!!

I'll take all the motivation I can get - and thanks for all the well wishes and enthusiasm about me blogging again!!!!

I can't promise everyday- because sometimes there just isn't time- but at least a couple times a week can be a lot of fun!!

So- tomorrow, more about We Care and my embarrassing story, then I'll fill you all in on South Africa - what a life changing trip!!!!

I've got lots of pictures and will share them with you all!

Glad to be back!!!

xoxo La

ALSO- WOW!! All your comments are so stinking SWEET!!! thank you so much!
I am really going to try to rally my energy and will power to start either boot camp again - or more than likely just keep rocking the Meta- and get really disciplined about it - because you all have inspired me do to so and get back in the game with you all!!!
And for the reader who wanted to know my height - I'm 5'6" - actually - I'm really 5'5" and a bout a half inch. In my brain movie I'm 5'9" and ALL LEGS... but that's really beside the point!!


  1. Wow Laura-what a story! Would love to go on one of those retreats to let go of my sugar cravings! That blue shoe showing up is amazing. My GI doc doesn't believe in colonics and the black guck coming out. I started believing her because she showed me pictures of my colon and it's supposedly pink and clear of residue. No Barbie accessories. : } It's a mystery to me. Anyway, it must be nice to have a clean fresh start! Welcome home!

  2. I love the toothpaste comment! I did a cleanse at home once, eating only chicken broth and drinking some gray, powdered concoctions for 10 days. I looked wretched the first few days, much like the gray powder, but when it was over I went back to class (grad school) and people were all: wow, what have you been doing? You are glowing. You look amazing. That was nice. And to that end (pun intended), you're right about the interesting bits that get stuck up there. My cleanse partner hadn't eaten peanuts in 6 months per a naturpathic diet, and guess what came out? Right. Peanuts. V. interesting. I can't wait to see more Tracy progress! MamaP

  3. I have heard about many positive things about colonics but have never had the guts to try it.

    Can't wait to hear your story!
    Have a great day,

  4. recently read about this place from alicia silverstone (though her version was definitely not as detailed as yours loll)...i think it's a sign that i need to make a trip there!!

  5. I have just started a 60 Day Juice fast and your story was inspiring.