2 hours and 45 minutes....
That's how long it took me this morning to get through my workout!!!
No wonder Tracy says to treat this like a job... It's like a part time job!
But it wasn't nearly as awful as yesterday...so there you have it folks - we officially have a pattern!
Strong, stronger, crash, crash, stronger , strong...
I'm really glad I kept a calendar now that I'm getting towards towards the end - because it really does show a very clear pattern of struggles and growth. I highly suggest that you keep a calendar with notes on it if you embark on this journey!
Now... I am dealing with some mental burnout issues... but I will deal with those as they come too... because Tracy may be trying to find my breaking point...and she can look all she wants - because I don't have one, baby!!!!!!
I got this thang!!!
I am starting to get barraged with the same question over and over again... "What do you do after the thirty days?" Up until now - that seemed so far away that I couldn't even really think about it. But now I'm thinking about it. What am I going to do? I guess I will keep going with muscle work and cardio on a regular basis (maybe not 7 days a week, because that would make me a freak) and play it by ear.
Does anyone know of a prescribed "syllabus" from Ms Anderson???
I would love to hear any and all suggestions! How often should we do cardio? How often should we do muscle work? How often should we rotate muscle work???
I cannot be left alone with my recently diminished Thass. We clearly didn't fare so well out on the town without a chapperone before, now did we?
Tracy...if you're out there - I could use your help with my future plan!!!
I did get to giggling today when I came up with a new slogan for Tracy... wait for it...
"You will hate my guts, but you'll love your butts!!!!" kinda catchy, huh?
James took me to see a movie and I had a funny thing happen.
It only happens on the rare occasions that I lose a significant amount of weight.
And that thing is - you walk past a mirror or a reflective wall and think - "Damn, was that me? Wow, I look really different."
It's almost like it shocks you to see yourself.
Truth is - my mind always takes a little longer to catch up to seeing my body like it really is in real time.
It takes me a while to start "seeing" myself as a thinner person.
Unfortunately for me ..this also applies when I have GAINED weight.
Same thing happens when I walk past a glass building and see myself in the reflection and think...
"Damn, was that me? Wow, I really look different." oh crap, that's not good.
When this phenominon occurs, I lovingly refer to it as yet another case of "inverted anorexia"... when I keep getting bigger but still think I'm small.
It's not good. Not good at all.
So, I am thrilled to report that tonight, for the first time -IN A LONG WHILE - I had one of the mirror moments (at the movie theater ) where I was surprised when I saw my own reflection...I kind of looked tiny- for me, anyway!!!
I couldn't believe it! I was actually shocked. I was very happy about it. It was boarderline Brain movie small!
I would have been more happy about it with some popcorn and a diet coke...but hey - you can't have it all.
Small ass or popcorn...??? small ass or popcorn??? It's like Sophie's Choice.
well...small ass of course...but that popcorn smelled REALLY good!! Maybe I could split the difference and just butter my small ass..?
something to think about, I suppose.
Tomorrow marks one of two remaining days of actual food... before the dreaded cleanse!!!
How incredibly pitiful will it be when I come back dreaming of a solid piece of fruit? or longing for a single spear of asparagus??
Has ANYONE else done this by the book - if so I would LOVE to hear from you !!!! Or even anyone who has done all five days of the cleanse.... yikes.
But like the rest of this month- I will do it by the book...cause that's how I roll, people.
Well, not usually - but in this instance I do appear to be rolling in that manner. Yo.
I sware - I have not deviated from Tracy's plan by so much as an almond! I have not even licked my fingers when making James dinner ! I have not even considered cheating - not a single bite!
Although I confess- I must be thinking about it on some level because last night I had a dream I cheated!!!
I was in New Orleans (?weird, right?) and I ordered my favorite drink (vodka/ grapefruit) and said - SCREW IT! I'm going off the wagon and then I grabbed half of sweet potato fry and popped it in my mouth!!! Half a fry -like the little tiny piece that always drops in between your console and the seat of your car - and stays there forever because you can't reach it. I hate that, btw.
Then they brought me my cocktail and I panicked!!!!! I started freaking out saying "I don't care that I'm in New Orleans (? again, weird with the New Orleans thing..?)- I'm not breaking my plan!!! But then I could NOT figure out what to do about the half of a sweet potato fry I had eaten! Was I going to confess to you all? Was I going to lie about it??? I was TORMENTED in my dream about it.
Then I woke up.
My first thought was that I was SOOOOO relieved that I hadn't eaten a fry.
My second thought was that I was SUCH A LOSER for being so concerned about doing this without a single slip up that I was dreaming about it!!! Good grief. What a dork.
I used to have similar dreams in the 80's when I would go get a brand new set of long BRIGHT RED ACRYLIC nails on- then I would dream that I broke and chewed them all off! I would wake up and panic and examine my hands, only to find them all there.
Of course, that was just the skinny girl in me trying to speak out against the horrors of long, bright red acrylic nails - or at least that's my guess. They did not look good on me.
The nails did, however, kind of complete the look of an ugly sweater with shoulder pads, acid washed jeans and hot rollered hair. Oh- and yes, I topped it all off with a BIG FAT ASS -I mean BIG!
Early college was not a good time for my Thass. Actually back then it just grew out and to the sides - it had not yet begun to slide down the back of my legs yet - but it brought all it's ugly friends with it.
Let's just say no one told me that you were only supposed to gain 15 pounds your Freshman year.
I did not get that memo.
I averaged 15 pounds for the first four semesters. I always was an over achiever.
I specifically remember when I was "dieting" in college that we would go to The Mont and I would get a giant ceaser salad and chili con queso with sausage lumps in it!!!! hahaahah!!! oh- and probably wash it down with a LITE beer. I think I have solved the riddle as to why the weight didn't fall right off.
I started getting it a little under control towards the end of college and have been working on it ever since...
So ...here we are - at 41 years young - and I'm the thinnest I've ever been in my life. go figure.
When people say "I wish I could fit into my jeans from high school" - I think - MY GOD- we could BOTH fit into MY jeans from high school.
Most of my friends in high school were models or looked like they could model. I looked more like the photographer.
Oh well, where do you think I developed this winning personality??? HA! When all your friends are more beautiful than you are - your role is clearly defined early on... get funny -or go home!!!
hahaha! so - I guess I got funny! Someone had to entertain all those skinny bitches!
:) BTW - they are still all my dear friends and they are still all gorgeous!
But, no thanks - I don't want to go back those jeans, please.
Well, folks - I'm tired and guess what I have to get up and do in the morning??????
AGAIN with the 2-3 hours of sweating and grunting - I think tomorrow morning I'll think back on college and be thankful that I was who I was then - and am who I am now.
We are always exactly where we are supposed to be in life - and at the exact time we are supposed to be there.
Today I am exactly 23 days into a thirty day journey!
I like who I am and I like how I've turned out.
...and I like where I'm going!
I'm Right where I am supposed to be, and happy to be here!
DAY 23 SUMMARY:
WEIGHT: down 13 pounds! 128!!
JEANS : are more loose by the day - seriously, I do not know how it's possible - but ones that were snug last week are loose now - go figure!
SORENESS: very sore today, but workout was more manageable - although it took 2 hours and 45 minutes to get through it.
Still rocking it out.
Nothing can break my will now! No way- NO how!
23 DAYS DOWN...
7 DAYS TO GO...
all BY THE BOOK!