TODAY WAS AWESOME!!!
I have NO idea why (and for that matter, I really don't care) but today was a CAKE WALK compared to the last two days!!! I was the same heavy limbed, sore gal I always am when I first got up, but by the time I got going with my muscle work I felt strong, capable and full of energy!!!!
I rocked out the muscle work and then chased it down with 50 minutes of cardio! Burned 1100 calories and really felt like I had turned a corner.
I could not believe how much more manageable it was compared to the last two days. I would have had to have done my cardio barefooted and on hot coals for it to be worse than the last two days!!!
I guess the universe was rewarding me for pushing through the wall and not giving in ... either that or it couldn't bare listening to my grunting and birth-like screaming another day. probably the latter.
Either way - I felt great!! I really felt like I had moved past an impossible hurdle!!
Not to mention that I also lost another pound today!!! That's right... it's official...
I'M DOWN TEN POUNDS!!!
While I was working out I kept wondering why it was so much easier today? and that got me thinking about how many times in the past had I quit something when it got really tough and had I just hung in there one more day.... would the universe have rewarded me???? Would the next day have been the day that it all got easier??? That I felt stronger??? That I felt like I could deal with it????
hmmmm... food for thought.
wait a minute... why does thought get food?? I would like to steal thoughts food. I'm the one that is starving and working so hard.. what has thought done to deserve food?? suck it, thought.
Speaking of thought...I had another one while I was working out...
how much easier the food plan has become now that I've grown used to it. Which begged the question... why was it so hard in the first place to eat four small, healthy meals a day and be satisfied???
Shouldn't that be what we always eat?
Isn't that what we would feed or children?
Then I really got going with my thoughts (ok, fine, thought did work overtime today- maybe he deserves a snack. sorry I told you to suck it, thought)
and my thoughts went something like this....
after all the talk of children yesterday, and all the comments from mommies out there (thanks for the comments, mommies!) and all the talk of taking ALL the toys from the toy hoarding kid at the playground and all the thought about feeding your children properly... I tied it all together!!!!
We need to start bulling our adult selves A LOT more! We need to treat ourselves like we were children A LOT more! We need to nurture ourselves like we do our children A LOT more!!!
The more I got to thinking about it - the more it made sense!
Ok, hang with me... and imagine this...imagine a normal day in your life...with normal choices and normal routines...but imagine the person going through it all - is a child. Now, you are the adult in charge of this child's welfare. You are responsible for the growth and development of this child.
You are in charge of feeding, nurturing, loving and building the self esteem of this child.
Now answer me this...
WOULD YOU EVER ALLOW A CHILD DO SOME OF THE THINGS YOU ALLOW YOUR ADULT SELF TO DO ON A REGULAR BASIS????
HELL NO, is my answer!
Here's an exact example of what I mean...
It is lunch time on a typical hurried day for Laura. She is in a hurry and stressed and late and didn't get enough sleep. She runs back by the house for lunch but gets another call she needs to take - so she turns to me to get permission to do the following....
(don't forget ...this is a five year old asking)
"Mom, is it cool with you if I skip lunch and just sit on the back porch and have a diet coke and a cigarette instead? I mean - I took a diet pill earlier, so I'm really not even that hungry."
What adult in the world would say - "Sure, that's cool. I mean - you are obviously VERY busy, little girl. Knock yourself out- and if you do get hungry - just grab a few Fritos. Oh, and do you need a light for your smokey treat?"
NO one would!! You would say - "Sweetheart, you need to sit down and eat a proper lunch so you don't get run down. And no sodas please - here, have some water. and NO SMOKING, small five year old! That will kill you, they have proved it, if you could read you would see it says so on the side of the box"
WTF??? I mean think about it!!!
Or - try this one on for size...
It's late at night and your teenage daughter comes and asks you this....
"Hey, this guy that I was dating - you know the one that told me how much he loved me and vice verse but then cheated on me with some skank...twice - well, he just called and wanted to get together tonight. I know it's already ten and he's been drinking but I think he might want to get back together. Should I go meet him?"
You would probably NOT tell your teenage daughter,,, " Absolutely. I bet he's really sorry for what he did and even though he hasn't called you in weeks (which is actually perfect, because it gave the medicine time to knock out that STD he gave you) I'm sure he just wants to talk. I bet he wants you back - and he's an AWESOME guy, just a PEACH of a guy!! I'm sure he is thinking of nothing but your feelings sweetheart -
Do you need help getting ready??? Think of how much respect he will have for you if you RUN TO HIM!"
uhhhhh.... probably not.
You would lovingly say- "I know you miss him and he broke your heart. But you are a gorgeous, smart, loving girl who deserves so much more. Respect yourself enough to not call him back."
(after that your adult might even call that punk ass yourself and tell him if he ever contacts your little girl again you will castrate him)
If you over heard a ten year old little girl say to her self " I'm so fat and ugly. I'll never be able to do that. I'm not even going to try. I'll just fail - so forget it."
You wouldn't say to her "You make some good points. You are probably never going to realize your dreams. So, it would be a waste of time for you to try. Oh, and - I wouldn't call you fat - but FOR SURE chunky. And you didn't mention your unruly hair? I was just wondering if you forgot your weird hair or just didnt realize it was weird. Just curious. Well, good luck with your miserable future."
You would go to her and ask her - Why are you so hard on yourself? Why would you say things like that to yourself?
You would encourage her to give it a shot because you believe there is NOTHING she can't do if she puts her mind to it!!!!!
Ok- you get the point...
Although I made up extreme examples because I thought they were WAY more funny than "may I have another cookie", "may I stay up late", "may I skip the sunscreen", "may I run up your charge cards" or "may I drink and drive" .... I think you get it.
I'm just curious how many choices I make for myself that I would not allow a child in my care to make. I wouldn't let them because I love them and I want what's best for them. I am there to protect that child and keep them safe. To make them feel loved and secure.
The more I think about it - I've kind of been a shitty guardian to myself. I should have myself taken away from myself by child protective services. Is that possible???
Now - don't get me wrong -it's not all about being perfect - because just like in a real child's life there are times that it's ok to have extra treats, stay up late, indulge in a little too much birthday cake... but like Tracy says in the book... after boot camp, strike an 80/20 balance. 80% "adult approved", 20% "live a little".
My adult thinks that seems reasonable!
In a couple of hours I will go give myself the other half of a well deserved "X", marking the end of day thirteen!!!! and then I will go to bed...because I need my rest and ...when I asked why I had to go to bed, apparently it was "because I said so...?" ... this could take some getting used to.
Oh - and btw, when this is over - on November 3rd (day 31) - I don't care how young she is - me and my inner five year old are putting on our Mary Janes and going out on the town and getting DR-UNK!!!! ...but I promise I won't let her drive!
In love and soreness, I send you all my best!
13 days down...
17 to go....
... all BY THE BOOK!!!!!
PS- MY THASS IS STARTING TO LOOK WAY BETTER!!!!! (oh dear, I forgot to ask permission to say that... I probably wouldn't have allowed my teenage daughter to talk about her ass on the Internet...oh well, we all know she's kind of a slut anyway)
Let's just focus on her health and move on, shall we? ;)