Where do I even begin????
I cannot believe I am about to say this, but... I did it.
I did it.
I did it.
HOLY SHIT - I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just typed those three little words... and started crying.
I did it.
Now I can't keep the tears from running down my face.
And the funny thing about it is...I had no idea I would be this emotional about it.
It isn't about the weight loss, or the new body, or all the fun blogging or all the friends I've made during this crazy, painful, challenging and rewarding month...
I am emotional because It didn't even occur to me until today how deeply it would effect me to realize how powerful I can be when I honor myself.
When I completely apply myself.
When I give myself my word and then let NO ONE and NOTHING get in the way of me keeping that promise to myself.
I am shocked at what I have done in thirty days.
I am shocked that it took my forty one years to learn how to do it.
I am shocked that it was the hardest thing I have ever done ...and at the exact same time, the easiest.
It's like I studied harder than I ever have for a test that I was terrified to take- but was so mentally prepared that the test wasn't anything I couldn't handle. No test is really that hard when you know the answers.
I am truly shocked, and almost afraid of, what I now know.
I now know what I can accomplish when I put my mind to it.
When I make no excuses.
When I get right down to business, prioritize myself and treat myself with the same respect and love as I give those around me.
When I set goals, plan the work, and work the plan.
When I prepare, manage my time, and execute.
When I tell myself I can do something, and then I believe me.
Ya know what? This changes everything.
How could it not?
How can you do everything I mentioned above, and in thirty days- ONE MONTH - completely redefine what you are capable of...completely dominate what has alluded you and tormented you for your entire life.
Think about that.
How can that not change everything?
Well folks... it does make you stop and think.
What else have I always wanted in my life, ...for myself, ...for others, ...to accomplish, ...to believe could happen... but haven't thought possible??? I can think of several things, I'm sure you can too.
I think I'm going to give them some serious thought, make a list and get after it...blogging about it all along the way !!!
I will see the list differently now as I have proved that one thing I never thought possible, that I have fought myself over all my life- ALL MY LIFE - is completely possible. I can change my body, completely change it. It's not only possible, but probable- "do able" if you will...and...
I did it.
There they are again - those three words. and there I go again...more tears!!! Sorry - can't seem to help it. I'm really proud of myself.
That's always been something I would hesitate to say -OR not think I earned the right to say it -OR not think I deserved to say.
I am an extraordinarily out going person. I am confident and happy and fearless.
and like most everyone else I know... I am a little broken.
Anyone who can live to be 41 and not feel like they would be better suited on sale in the "scratch and dent" section, rather than brand new...well, I suppose they must not have lived that much.
I live life wide ass open...and as they say - I do not want to go quietly and gracefully through life - I want to give it hell and wear it out and when it's all said and done, I want to slide into the grave like I'm stealing home.
Life is messy and beautiful and thrilling and painful.
It is filled with expectations that are never met and dreams that do not come true...and it's also FILLED with joy and laughter and love and unexpected displays of kindness and daily miracles that leave us breathless.
It is my nature to argue to the death if you pay me a compliment...and to never forget, in a million years, if you tell me something negative about myself.
Why is that???
Well, I have noticed that the compliments I have received lately - compliments that I have received directly in regards to the results I have worked hard to achieve over the last month...I have willingly and graciously accepted. It has come easily to me to say, with a pure heart...simply, "thank you."..and feel great about it.
Interesting, isn't it?
Again - this isn't about the weight or the Thass or any of that (although the improvement in both rock and I'm thrilled about it!!!!!) it's about the complete commitment, the follow through and the honoring of the promise to myself.
Like I said... it's telling myself I could DO IT...and believing me. Then...doing it. and...
I did it.
ok- I wont keep saying that!!! actually...I probably will!
hahaha!! ok....enough about all the emotional baggage issues and blah, blah, blah, crap - I'm just rambling on anyway, because I keep crying!!! So ...let's talk numbers!
Let's talk real, live, results!!! Let's talk THASStatistics!!!!
After thirty days of pain, misery, suffering, hunger, Kale nasty, sore muscles, highs and lows...
was it all worth it?
OH HELL YA, IT WAS WORTH IT!!!!
Drum roll please......
In thirty days ..... started at 141...ended at 126!!!!! I HAVE LOST 15 POUNDS!!!
In thirty days.... started at 26.41% body fat...ended at 16% - OVER A 10% CHANGE IN BODY FAT!
In thirty days....started at 133.5 mm in skinfold test...ended at 69mm!! LOST 64.5mm in pinch test!!!!!
In thirty days... I have LOST 20" - TWENTY INCHES from my body!!!!!
In thirty days...I have gone from 37.2 pounds of fat and fluid... to 20.3 pounds of fat and fluid!
In thirty days...I have completely changed my body.
I feel stronger, more lean and healthier than I ever have before.
I am committed to maintaining my results and cannot wait to keep up the great work, try new DVD's, keep up with everyone else's progress and continue to work the Thass into shape!!!!
I do not have a perfect body, and I am not concerned with it ever being "perfect" ...because that is an illusion and an unobtainable goal. But I do like the idea of being the BEST I CAN BE - finding and maintaining the BEST BODY I can... having a healthy body, A FIT A STRONG BODY...and a fit and strong mind to go with it...that is my goal.
If I have THAT BODY and THAT MIND...then I have MY perfect body.
That is sexy.
That is powerful.
That is attainable.
and THAT is exciting!!!
It has been some month!!!! We have talked about periods, poop, saggy skin, sweat, kale juice, cellulite, mantras, motivations, bullying yourself, being kind to yourself, and internal talk radio stations.
We have cursed, cried, and laughed, we've committed multiple murders of inner fat girls - we've even taken a child's toys and shot the bird at an old man on a tractor.
We've learned we are all alike...all over the world! We have made friends in Italy, Australia, Istanbul, Germany, Asia, Canada- to name a few.... and..let's not forget...good ole Nashville!
We've loved Tracy Anderson. Worshipped Tracy Anderson. Cussed Tracy Anderson...wanted to roll Tracy Anderson up in a yoga mat and throw her in the river!! and in the end..we've really appreciated Tracy Anderson.
Thanks Tracy for doing the ten years of research, so we could just show up and take the class.
I believe your good buddy Gweynth said it best...you get out of it what you put into it.
you put your all into it and I did the same!!!
and I got more out of it than I ever imagined possible. On so many levels...so , seriously...thank you!!!
(sidenote: I'm going to Gwyneth's movie premier next week...I may stalk her. I'm guessing she should be able to recognize me by my TAM signature arms. We will probably become besties by the awards show. It could happen. I am wildly entertaining.)
So.... although I am short on "before" pictures ( I only took two -but they went away when I dropped my phone and broke it) I found a recent one a friend just emailed me - from a month or two ago - in the summer - weighing in about 141 or 142 -it's the photo in cutoffs (which, btw - are the bigger ones - the smaller ones fell completely off me the other day when I tried to put them on) ...
Please do not fail to notice the lovely back fat. I am super proud of that.
Back fat's best friend...muffin top - is in the house too...you just can't see him.
This shot does not do justice to just how thoroughly chunky I was feeling and looking. Although - clearly- still happy!
And although I was not fat, and have not really been fat in twenty years - only various degrees of fit to kind of chunky...at this weight NONE of my clothes fit - I felt horrible and my gut was seriously out of control. Needless to say - my cellulite Farmer was rockin' a bumper crop and then some.
Here is another BEFORE shot... and what's is interesting about this one..in this shot (from about a year and a half ago) I weighed about 132-ish.
that is TEN pounds less than when I STARTED TAM - but as you can see - it was not a very "fit" 131...just kind of a soft, gooey 131. Only 6 pounds more than today's weight in!
NOW- I was going to take some really cute pictures today, with lotion on my skin that made it shiny like Tracy's and hair and make up done...but instead- what you get are shots of me just after my final workout - sweaty as hell, no make up - and taken by myself in the mirror with my Iphone!!! Not the best shots - but hey - it's something! There is one full body shot from before I started sweating!!! I'll try to take more next time I actually have some make up on and my hair done...so you can see I can be kind of cute every once in a while!
...... today, after thrity days on he TAM method... AGE: 41 WEIGHT: 126 BODY FAT:16%
|6:30 am - getting ready to workout for 3 1/2 hours...|
|Check out my TAM arm!!!|
|LOOK! ...an ab...I see it !!! - it's a junior starter kit ab..but It's still exciting!|
|I've never been under 20% body fat EVER - not EVER....until now!!! 16% Ba-by!|
Those are the pictures I had for ya!
Tomorrow I am going out to dinner with some dear friends to celebrate and plan on having a little cocktail and enjoying getting my drink on!!!! Although it will probably only take two sips and I will be a silly girl.
I also plan on taking ONE day off from working out - tomorrow morning - to take my sweet and patient puppy on a long walk. He has gained some weight while his mommy has lost some weight!!!
After that I will be back on it - trying ...and reporting to you all ... how I like the other DVD's, my food plan, my maintenence plan and future measurements... I already have it planned to take more measurements in a couple of weeks.
Also - coming up... the CMA awards, and movie premiers and lots of fun things to report on !!!
You wanted more blogging... you're gonna get more blogging!!!
I will also post ALL my numbers and all my calendar notes in the next day or two...
so be patient...I may take tomorrow off and enjoy the day with a little less structure...but then I'll be back.
I have had a ball blogging to you all about my adventure and can't thank you all enough for sending well wishes and encouragement along with your own personal stories back to me - it made SUCH a difference!!!
Thank you , thank you, from the bottom of my THASS!!!!
We CAME, We TAMed, We KICKED SOME THASS!!!!!
and although this may sound like a cliche...
IF I CAN DO THIS...YOU CAN DO THIS. Seriously. Or whatever you want to do for yourself - it doesn't have to be this program - it could be going to school, quitting smoking, learning something new, or getting in shape. Any change that you think you can not do...you can.
Tell yourself you can do it. and then have the courage to believe it.
No one can do it for you... but no one can keep you from doing it. It's your choice.
I did it.
I did it BY THE BOOK. For thirty days..in a row. Not ONE bite of food that wasn't on the food plan. Not ONE missed rep. Not ONE missed cardio session. Not ONE day without a struggle. Not ONE day without a victory. I did it.
I am dog ass tired, still hungry... but so excited!!!!!...going to bed with a belly full of puree...looking forward to breakfast and eating a solid food again... I think I'll have half a grapefruit. Living on the edge. That's how I roll.
I can't believe I get to type the next words...
30 DAYS DOWN....
0 DAYS TO GO...
and they were ALL, every last one of them...BY THE BOOK.
I did it!!!!!! (I've stopped crying..now I'm just smiling!!!!)
PS- I want to dedicate this entire journey to my brother, Buddy.
We recently disagreed on exactly how much a person could effect and change their life in thirty days.
You were a big part of my motivation. I love you.
Oh...and I was right. Just sayin'...