I'm BACK !!!!!
Man, I feel much better today!!!!!
Yesterday was exhausting and I could not figure out why I was so hungry (more so than usual) and why I was feeling so puny...then guess what happened???
(spoiler alert: - if you are male and reading this...first off, thanks...secondly, this is your chance to stop reading if it freaks you out to hear about "girl" things, "girl" things that happen ...say, uhhh... once a month)
Well, I'm sure you figured out what happened - my cycle started. Which completely explains why I looked at food commercials last night as if I had never eaten before and would never eat again.
It also explains why I was in a slight funk - nothing too bad, just off a little.
You know periods are funny things really.
They represent the two reasons why women are CLEARLY the stronger gender...
First off, (and I say this lovingly because I love men!) if men had to endure the horrors of being pregnant and giving birth - the pain, the wrecked bodies, the passing of an 8 pound wad through a hole that previously brought them pleasure - we would have ceased to exist long ago.
Secondly, show me ONE man that has ever bled for a week and lived to tell about it.
just sayin'...
Now - if there any brave men still out there and reading - congrats to you - for taking a joke and not being too horrified with the subject topic.
I will tip my hat to you boys on one talking point... Bless each and every one of you that has to share a household with a girlfriend, wife, daughter, mother or friend...cause at some point I feel confident you have had to suffer right along with us when you were involuntary drafted to ride the emotional roller coaster!
"Please keep your hands and feet in the car at all times during the ride...."
wow... let me just say this about hormones...
I consider myself a VERY rational and normal - a person who doesn't get too crazy over things (usually) but catch me on that ONE WRONG DAY, when the hormones are a little cocked up and wanky... and LOOK OUT!
I won't be mean to you (usually) but I might start crying... and I will expect you to listen carefully, council me, worry about me - and then forget all of it the next day when I am suddenly back to normal and have have no idea why you are calling to check on me.
I sometimes live in fear that they will prove PMS doesn't exist and I will have to acknowledge that crazy is actually part of my personality.
Anyway...moving on...
So today - I was slow to get up - woke up feeling sluggish and immediately began the internal negotiation to postpone my workout until later in the day.
I was miraculously saved by a text message asking if I was available for an early morning conference call...
"Welllllll, just so happens I AM AVAILABLE!" Sweeeeeeeet. Saved by the bell.
Three hours of work later - I started working out. By this time I felt SO much better. I think it helped that I ate breakfast this morning before working out.
I upped my reps to 45 today - which made me kind of think I was a badass to push myself in light off my "visitor" being in town.
Then I rocked right into my cardio segment - I danced like a maniac for forty minutes and then a really funny thing happened... I hit a wall like I have never hit a wall before!!!
It was funny because I never saw it coming!!!! I was fine one minute, literally dying the next! I pushed through the 5th segment (50 minutes) and ALMOST caved before going into the last ten minutes - but decided that it was at moments like this - when it gets REALLY hard- that real progress is made... so I kept on going - even though I had to step touch some of it!
But ya know what... I gotta tell ya...
there was more than one time that I could not help thinking to myself that If I were somewhere eating an microwavable giant buritto and drinking a Big Gulp Mountain Dew because I was on break from my construction job -
I would TOTALLY say something inappropriate to me if I walked by!!!
I'm really getting stronger! and really getting smaller! and hopefully at some point that will all roll into a pretty little package that equates to really getting HOTTER!!
Woo Hoo!!!!
Tomorrow is measure / pinch day number 2 !!!!! and I'm not sure how the pinch / measure will be effected by it being that time of the month - but I'm sure it will go well, and all inches lost will show up in the long run.
I am definitely a little "puffy" - but glad to report weight holding steady at 129! (that's 12 lbs down!)
...and if history repeats itself - I usually drop a few when I'm all done with my cycle.
I guess we'll see!
I want to say on a more serious note - how touched I was by everyone's thoughtful and concerned comments and messages you sent regarding yesterdays' post! I didn't mean to alarm anyone that I wasn't feeling well - but was touched by the concern none the less. Thank you again for always being so supportive!
I have developed a silly little routine in the mornings...when the alarm starts going off and my brain turns on and wants to say... "not today ba-by"... I reach for my Ipad before I even get out of bed and open it up to my blog comments!!!
Between the kind words there and the encouraging comments on Facebook I am motivated enough to jump up and get after it again - so I can report that I did it - that I earned another half X and then had another BY THE BOOK day!!!!!
I had a wonderful message this morning from a reader in ASIA - Singapore to be exact -who had been reading regularly but had not signed up to be a follower because she didn't have a Google account, but after reading I was having a rough day yesterday she set up a goggle account so she leave me an encouraging message!!!! How unbelievably thoughtful was that???? Thanks to you in Asia!
... and Canada, and Germany and India and all over the world! I wish the news would focus more on how much kindness is in the world and not always just report on the ugliness. Maybe we can finally discover world peace because we finally found a universal theme... Thass -less ness.
I'm kind of loving that.
18 DAYS DOWN...? Can you believe that????
I will be on the cleanse before you know it and then hitting my mark!
30 perfect days... that elusive little monkey will be mine!!!
I also want to say something to all of you out there who have commented that you "messed up" or "failed" to do this program perfectly... I choose to do it "by the book" because I needed to challenge myself to do something I did not think I could do. So doing it in a flawless way was as much of the challenge as any part of it. I also knew my self well enough to know that FOR ME - the minute I began saying things like "oh, just a few almonds won't hurt anything" or "It couldn't be that big a deal to skip this one meal... this one workout... this one set of reps, etc" - my goose would be cooked.
I knew if I lost momentum I would be in trouble. The wheels would come completely off for me. But again - that's just me , and more mentally than anything.
...but I want to acknowledge that isn't the case for everyone and if you have stumbled - don't give up! Don't throw away all the hard work and effort you've put in just because one day wasn't perfect - pick up where you were and get back in the ring!
I read this quote and thought it was perfect for just such a thought!...
"If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you.
You may have a fresh start any moment you choose,
for this thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down."
-Mary Pickford
I love that!!! a fresh start any moment you choose...awesome. Once again...it's a choice!
Hey - guess what's not a frickin' choice???? tomorrow's breakfast.... Hard boiled egg and KALE JUICE!!!! awesome! I wonder if I'll even be able to sleep tonight since I'll be so excited!
It's kind of like Christmas.
If Christmas were the day you traditionally drank ass juice.
Oh... and I wish I had a video camera right now... I'm on the couch (I'm always worried I will misspell "couch" and make it "coach" and "I'm on the coach" kind of makes me sound like a whore. anyhoo...) I'm on the COUCH and I have my husband on one side of me and my ninety pound lab on the other...and they are BOTH SNORING!!!!!
MY LORD it's LOUD!!!! hysterical.
and they also are both twitching!!!! silly boys! I sure do love them both.
I guess I'll go tuck them in the biscuit and get in there myself and get some rest.
Even though I'll probably have night terrors about drinking more Kale juice.
18 days down...
12 days to go...
all BY THE BOOK...
every last MOTHER SCRATCHIN' one of em!
xoxoLa
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
DAY SEVENTEEN...
May I just start off with this sentiment...
I am really hungry. I mean I am really hungry tonight.
Today is one of those days that seem to cycle around every few days on this program where you just have to be hungry all day long and the only thing you can really have is a big heaping, helping of "deal with it".
Not very satisfying.
But ...I'm dealing with it....
is it wrong that I have already begun inviting friends to eat dinner with me on day 31...?
Everything seems to be cyclical within the Tracy Anderson Method. Or more accurately, I guess within my body's reaction to the Tracy Anderson Method.
I am starting to notice a pattern of three days with lots of different issues....
Every third day it seems like I will surely starve to death, every few days I seem to go back and forth from feeling lots of energy to feeling weak and tired (today would be that day, btw), seems to be a pattern of two days in a row where I feel strong and capable while working out and a day where just getting up the stairs is a nightmare and within every three day cycle I go from feeling more lean, to feeling more "puffy".
I am guessing it's just a natural reaction to the blundt force trauma of the daily self inflicted ass whippings.
It could also be related to one other thing I am noticing that only shows up every three days or so.
I'll give you a hint: Pick a number between one and three.
Do you have your number? Are you thinking number 2? Yah, so am I.
I won't elaborate on this rather personal matter...but good grief. With all the greens and fruit we are eating you'de think I would be pooping like a Macaw - just at random and with no warning-
not the case. Few and far between.
More than likely it's the damn cellulite farmer hoarding it for fertilizer. I hate that s.o.b... I saw him today plowing the back 40. We shot each other the bird. He's not going down without a fight. Bring it on, old man.
Like I was saying, the last few days were "do-able" in the sauna / gym - and keep in mind that every day the workout now takes 2 and 1/2 hours!!!!!!!- so I am dreading tomorrow... for if history repeats itself...I will struggle with it. Fingers crossed I am wrong.
I could just be feeling sorry for myself because James just had a fresh baked cookie for dessert and I am considering paying bills just so I can lick the stamps.
On a brighter note....I did get to thinking this morning that as hard as this has been - it is, in fact going by really fast.
Day seventeen...almost over - which means Friday is almost here!!! That's all I can really bare to focus on - getting to Friday in perfect form. Friday is measure/pinch day #2 - I will post those little nuggets Friday evening.
The key for me has been to break it down into manageable smaller pieces. If I ever spend too much time thinking about having to keep this up for thirty days straight, chances are it would overwhelm and depress me and then I would think about the thirty days while standing inside the pantry conducting a taste test of all of it's contents. Kind of a food hug super sampler. It could get ugly. quick.
However... my tactic has been to think of it in ten day sections... that is why I am being measured and pinched every ten days - so I can clearly mark the start and end of a "section".
This , of course, coincides with the changing of the guards in our muscle work, which , coincides with the brutal, hateful soreness that comes with the changing of our muscle work. Ugh. I am dreading that already. When ten days seems overwhelming - I focus on today only.
This particular strategy comes in handy on nights like tonight - nights where I am hungry, tired, half way emotional and running low on give a shit. That's when I focus on hanging in there for another two hours and I can earn the other half of my "X" in today's square on the calendar and go to bed. Two hours seems WAY better than thirty days. Thirty days makes me want to throw myself through a plate glass window.
Two hours I can handle...I think.
Tonight and today were hard and part of me hates that and the other part of me appreciates it. Becasue as they say - if it were easy everyone would do it!
Taking this on - then blabbing about it on the internet was a scary venture for me.
But I've always said ..." It's not brave, if you're not scared".
So, even though I am tired, hungry and struggling today... I do feel brave. Brave enough to just "deal with it" and brave enough to admit it's not easy!!!! Brave enough to not make excuses and brave enough to deal with two hours. That will be good enough for today!
And lastly,,,if getting through the day, or even two hours seems overwhelming- then I focus on three minutes!
This is my favorite little trick I learned a while ago when I quit smoking...yes, I smoked and yes, I know how utterly ridiculous it was that I smoked!!! anyhoo -I read something that really helped me then and still helps me now. It was on whyquit.com ( an excellent site to visit if you want to stop smoking!) and it talked about how they have done scientific research that proves that a "craving" - of any kind - lasts a maximum of three minutes.
I put the theory to the test and I really believe it to be true! Whether it's nicotine, sweet tooth, snack cravings- whatever hits you - give it three minutes- do something else, distract your mind and voila! it will pass...promise!!!
The more you successfully navigate around cravings, the less frequently they strike... it's also a GREAT way to determine REAL hunger from just wanting a food hug.
Well, I think I'm going to go to bed now - even my blog entry is a struggle today!
Sorry I'm not my usual bubbly self-
I'm sure I will be back on my game tomorrow, hang in there with me!
DAY SEVENTEEN SUMMARY:
ENERGY: well- you all know how I am feeling today. Not my best.
WEIGHT: stayed the same -129! (In the 120's - that's still exciting!)
My jeans are feeling more loose every day - which is really weird to me - since I went from not fitting in ANY of my jeans to my smallest jeans beginning to get "loose" - all in 16 days...wow. That really is amazing.
My arms and other parts of me are starting to show real signs of toning!!
OH! and I haven't mentioned my skin yet!! - The skin on my face...not my old man stomach skin...
My skin is really looking better than it was before I started- probably due to all the water and healthy eating!!!!
So- all in all - I am thrilled with results so far and will keep going - NO MATTER WHAT - NO MATTER HOW HARD IT MIGHT GET !!! I Promise to everyone one of you out there trying to deal with the struggles - I will stay true to the plan - so hang in there with me!!
Congrats to Amy and Kelley who both started TAM program - keep us posted! Good luck!
Sorry I am not very funny tonight, just really tired.
Tomorrow will be better!
17 days down...
13 days to go...
all BY THE BOOK!
xoxoLa
AWWWWWWW- for THE LOVE OF GOD!!!! - A Reese's Peanut Butter Cup commercial followed by a Domino's pizza ad... shitballs. I'm going to bed.
I can hear my farmer laughing. Keep laughing little man - your ass is mine! My ass is mine, for that matter...and I'm taking it back! We'll talk tomorrow...
I am really hungry. I mean I am really hungry tonight.
Today is one of those days that seem to cycle around every few days on this program where you just have to be hungry all day long and the only thing you can really have is a big heaping, helping of "deal with it".
Not very satisfying.
But ...I'm dealing with it....
is it wrong that I have already begun inviting friends to eat dinner with me on day 31...?
Everything seems to be cyclical within the Tracy Anderson Method. Or more accurately, I guess within my body's reaction to the Tracy Anderson Method.
I am starting to notice a pattern of three days with lots of different issues....
Every third day it seems like I will surely starve to death, every few days I seem to go back and forth from feeling lots of energy to feeling weak and tired (today would be that day, btw), seems to be a pattern of two days in a row where I feel strong and capable while working out and a day where just getting up the stairs is a nightmare and within every three day cycle I go from feeling more lean, to feeling more "puffy".
I am guessing it's just a natural reaction to the blundt force trauma of the daily self inflicted ass whippings.
It could also be related to one other thing I am noticing that only shows up every three days or so.
I'll give you a hint: Pick a number between one and three.
Do you have your number? Are you thinking number 2? Yah, so am I.
I won't elaborate on this rather personal matter...but good grief. With all the greens and fruit we are eating you'de think I would be pooping like a Macaw - just at random and with no warning-
not the case. Few and far between.
More than likely it's the damn cellulite farmer hoarding it for fertilizer. I hate that s.o.b... I saw him today plowing the back 40. We shot each other the bird. He's not going down without a fight. Bring it on, old man.
Like I was saying, the last few days were "do-able" in the sauna / gym - and keep in mind that every day the workout now takes 2 and 1/2 hours!!!!!!!- so I am dreading tomorrow... for if history repeats itself...I will struggle with it. Fingers crossed I am wrong.
I could just be feeling sorry for myself because James just had a fresh baked cookie for dessert and I am considering paying bills just so I can lick the stamps.
On a brighter note....I did get to thinking this morning that as hard as this has been - it is, in fact going by really fast.
Day seventeen...almost over - which means Friday is almost here!!! That's all I can really bare to focus on - getting to Friday in perfect form. Friday is measure/pinch day #2 - I will post those little nuggets Friday evening.
The key for me has been to break it down into manageable smaller pieces. If I ever spend too much time thinking about having to keep this up for thirty days straight, chances are it would overwhelm and depress me and then I would think about the thirty days while standing inside the pantry conducting a taste test of all of it's contents. Kind of a food hug super sampler. It could get ugly. quick.
However... my tactic has been to think of it in ten day sections... that is why I am being measured and pinched every ten days - so I can clearly mark the start and end of a "section".
This , of course, coincides with the changing of the guards in our muscle work, which , coincides with the brutal, hateful soreness that comes with the changing of our muscle work. Ugh. I am dreading that already. When ten days seems overwhelming - I focus on today only.
This particular strategy comes in handy on nights like tonight - nights where I am hungry, tired, half way emotional and running low on give a shit. That's when I focus on hanging in there for another two hours and I can earn the other half of my "X" in today's square on the calendar and go to bed. Two hours seems WAY better than thirty days. Thirty days makes me want to throw myself through a plate glass window.
Two hours I can handle...I think.
Tonight and today were hard and part of me hates that and the other part of me appreciates it. Becasue as they say - if it were easy everyone would do it!
Taking this on - then blabbing about it on the internet was a scary venture for me.
But I've always said ..." It's not brave, if you're not scared".
So, even though I am tired, hungry and struggling today... I do feel brave. Brave enough to just "deal with it" and brave enough to admit it's not easy!!!! Brave enough to not make excuses and brave enough to deal with two hours. That will be good enough for today!
And lastly,,,if getting through the day, or even two hours seems overwhelming- then I focus on three minutes!
This is my favorite little trick I learned a while ago when I quit smoking...yes, I smoked and yes, I know how utterly ridiculous it was that I smoked!!! anyhoo -I read something that really helped me then and still helps me now. It was on whyquit.com ( an excellent site to visit if you want to stop smoking!) and it talked about how they have done scientific research that proves that a "craving" - of any kind - lasts a maximum of three minutes.
I put the theory to the test and I really believe it to be true! Whether it's nicotine, sweet tooth, snack cravings- whatever hits you - give it three minutes- do something else, distract your mind and voila! it will pass...promise!!!
The more you successfully navigate around cravings, the less frequently they strike... it's also a GREAT way to determine REAL hunger from just wanting a food hug.
Well, I think I'm going to go to bed now - even my blog entry is a struggle today!
Sorry I'm not my usual bubbly self-
I'm sure I will be back on my game tomorrow, hang in there with me!
DAY SEVENTEEN SUMMARY:
ENERGY: well- you all know how I am feeling today. Not my best.
WEIGHT: stayed the same -129! (In the 120's - that's still exciting!)
My jeans are feeling more loose every day - which is really weird to me - since I went from not fitting in ANY of my jeans to my smallest jeans beginning to get "loose" - all in 16 days...wow. That really is amazing.
My arms and other parts of me are starting to show real signs of toning!!
OH! and I haven't mentioned my skin yet!! - The skin on my face...not my old man stomach skin...
My skin is really looking better than it was before I started- probably due to all the water and healthy eating!!!!
So- all in all - I am thrilled with results so far and will keep going - NO MATTER WHAT - NO MATTER HOW HARD IT MIGHT GET !!! I Promise to everyone one of you out there trying to deal with the struggles - I will stay true to the plan - so hang in there with me!!
Congrats to Amy and Kelley who both started TAM program - keep us posted! Good luck!
Sorry I am not very funny tonight, just really tired.
Tomorrow will be better!
17 days down...
13 days to go...
all BY THE BOOK!
xoxoLa
AWWWWWWW- for THE LOVE OF GOD!!!! - A Reese's Peanut Butter Cup commercial followed by a Domino's pizza ad... shitballs. I'm going to bed.
I can hear my farmer laughing. Keep laughing little man - your ass is mine! My ass is mine, for that matter...and I'm taking it back! We'll talk tomorrow...
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
DAY SIXTEEN....
Hello Ladies... and gentlemen (if you're out there!) - I know "Mary's husband" ( Mary from the comments section) is reading along with her every morning - so let's give him a big estrogen filled shout out for finding all this funny. Welcome, Mary's husband... to the inner circle.
Are you man enough to talk about some really girly things??? Here we go...
I thought I might start the blog off today with a joke!!! One of my all time favorites for a woman to tell a man...
A woman is walking down the street, she sees a homeless woman and walks over to give her $20.
The homeless woman is so thankful and reaches for the money.
But the woman pulls it back and says" Wait, are you going to go spend this on getting your nails done?"
The homeless woman says - " Of course not, I can't afford those kinds of things".
The woman starts to give the money again, but pulls it back saying "Are you going to use this money on coloring your hair???" Are you going to use this money to buy a good bottle of wine?"
The homeless woman says " Of course not, I simply want to have a hot meal, I am trying to survive on the streets and I cannot have my hair colored or buy nice wine."
The woman says "Fair enough, I would like you to join me and my husband for dinner tonight, our treat, and I will gladly give you the $20 dollars".
The homeless woman says - "That is so kind of you, but I am afraid I am not going to be presentable for a dinner out, I might embarrass you."
The woman looks at the homeless woman and says ..."No, I want you to come EXACTLY like you are...
because I want my husband to see what happens when a woman stops spending money on her nails, hair and great wine!!!!!"
(insert rim shot)
love that one!! :)
so - moving on ....
DAY SIXTEEN!!!!
Today I got off to a slow start - not sure why - probably because I went to bed later than normal and really pitched a fit when the alarm went off at 6:00am.
With much groaning , I climbed out of bed and stumbled in the direction of the bathroom so I could start my day off with the usual hat trick of activities : brush teeth, pee, weigh. In that order.
The first two are always welcomed for obvious reasons - since all we drink on this diet is water - well, the bladder is always full. And I have NO idea what goes on in all our mouths overnight but seriously... what is morning breath about? That's no way to start off the day. gross.
(Side note: I don't do smells, smelly things or unpleasant odors of any kind. I also have an irrational fear of having bad breath and not knowing it. It only marginally out ranks my fear of visible panty lines and shark attack)
Back to the morning hat trick...
Then the scale....
drum roll please....
IN THE 120'S!!!!! barely... (129) but I'll take it!!! I was so excited!!!
I'm so full of it when I say I don't care what the scale says - I TOTALLY care what the scale says!!! and today it said 129. Whoop there it is!
I guess I wouldn't care what it said if you could bounce a quarter off my ass and do laundry on my abs - then I wouldn't care at all...." I weigh 198, but I wear a size two and look like Tracy Anderson" - that would be fine... but for now - I would by lying if I said it wasn't kind of exciting to see anything in the 120's - all new territory for me... and I am diggin it!
"So - are there any down sides to this new found weight loss?"
Why, yes, so funny you would ask. I did meet one of the downsides today.
I met him today (yes, him) right about the time I was doing the fourth leg exercise. You know the one where you are on your hands and knees moving your leg back and forth on either side of the chair.
"How did this chance encounter happen, between you and this strange man in your house at 7:30 am while you were on your hands and knees?"
Again - great question! Well, you see... I was feeling sooooooo lean and skinny and fabulous this morning that when I went to workout I wore a exercise top that was more like a sports bra.
( I know- I'm a little ahead of myself, because I am NOT ready to wear anything cropped, but I guess I thought - no one is home, it's just me, dare to dream...) and as I am on my hands and knees, I look down and almost scream!!!! MY STOMACH SKIN is hanging down in what I can only describe as looking like a "grumpy old man"!!!!
It was so horrible that I started laughing!!!
Then I couldn't stop laughing - OR stop staring at it!
Seriously... Oh. Ma. Gawd!!! Then I sat back and looked at it in the mirror and sort of bent forward in different ways and made the stomach skin turn into grumpy old man faces - I stopped at about seven different faces. THIS IS NOT GOOD.
I guess before my stomach skin just filled with extra gut ... and I knew better than to look down at it.
I knew to avoid looking at instinctively - you know, the way you know not to look directly into a solar eclipse. It could blind a girl. Or at least make her want to poke her eyes out.
So I finally stopped laughing at the grumpy old man face my stomach skin was making and then became fascinated with just how horrible it really was to look at!!!
It's kind of like one of those creepy panty hose dolls made to look like an old person. Or when they carve an old person's face out of an apple. An apple person...that is what my stomach skin looked like.
I remember Tracy saying the skin is the last thing to draw back to the body - which is a good thing - because if she had said it was the first thing to get better...and I got an eyeful of that nasty - I would have walked out of my house and driven directly to the first Plastic Surgeon's office I could find and demanded a consult!!!
Patience, grasshopper.
Confucius (Tracy) say : saggy skin will join body once ass not fat.
I really hope so. It was like SAW IV scary. or Blair Witch scary. or Spencer and Heidi scary. yikes.
(and I'm sure Spencer and Heidi are lovely people..but they do scare me a little. sorry.)
After I composed myself, it suddenly occurred to me it was rude of me to be laughing at my new found "guest" and I should introduce myself to that scary little upset old man - find out a little more about him.
What does he do? Where did he come from? WHEN DOES HE PLAN ON LEAVING??? -
When I got my answers - it all made sense.
The grumpy little man has been living under my layers of abdominal fat for years and he is - of all things - a farmer!
What does he farm??? You guessed... CELLULITE!!! He's a mother scratchin' cellulite farmer.
F-er!!! That did it!!!! You are squatting on my land - no one invited you and I want you off my property right this instance!!!!!
And as if it couldn't get worse... he has family! Which is why he is so grumpy and consequently why his face is all crinkled up and hanging off... he has a fat daughter, But... according to him - no one has seen her on almost two weeks!! (oopsie... I MIGHT know a little something in regards to her whereabouts ...RIP fat daughter of grumpy cellulite farmer) and lastly... he has a grandson...last seen on the playground hoarding toys.
So, listen up fat family...get your YUCK outta my YUM!!!!
I will not stand for it another minute.
ok- maybe a few more minutes because it may take a little longer to put in enough work to "evict " them. But I WILL...oh, I will indeed.
The grumpy cellulite farmer and his whole family can suck it!
There's a new sheriff in town- and her name is Tracy Anderson. She and her deputy Laura are gonna run you folks out of town. You can go quietly ...or we can do this the hard way.
Wait - I think we are doing this the hard way...???? whatever... Just please leave. I said please.
Speaking of grumpy men at the house... my husband is getting home!!! yeah!!! (I'm kidding - he's a happy soul!)
He has been gone for a week- hunting in Colorado... which I would have told you all about earlier but my mother (hi mom!) was paranoid that someone would come "get me" if I posted on the web that I was at the house alone.
I assured her I had Stevie Wonder (the dog) and a rather odd amount of guns to keep me safe and no one would come and get me. Plus, now I've got the grumpy old man to watch after me...if there was an intruder, I'm sure he would signal me with his phlegmy old man cough. ewwwww.
As I mentioned, my husband is a hunter. I, personally, do not get it and would never want to shoot an animal, but I respect that he loves to be outdoors, one with nature, amongst the animals, dressed like a shrub, lying in wait ... armed. Well, like I said, I don't get it... but he doesn't get why I shriek with pure joy when I hear the words "60% off"... so we have agreed to just be happy that the other is happy and understand that we are different. Kind of like that book says - what was it called??
Men are from Mars, Woman are from Neimans.
...something like that.
Every year during hunting season I find that since I do not have ten boobs, it is hard to get him interested in MY rack...he's a little too busy sizing up the rack on a deer...or elk... oh well...I'll focus on the racks at Barneys. Turn around is fair play.
But I will welcome my little hunter home with open arms (open, increasingly toned arms)-and thank him from the bottom of my heart for how supportive he has been during my journey! He has encouraged me, run to the store to get me groceries at the last minute and endured the early am loud music and all my bitching and moaning.
He even reads my blog and laughs with me!
He lovingly cheers me on and I am forever grateful for his support in this (and all things) and will be so happy to see his little beanie head come through that door!!!
Thanks, James! I love you!
also - ladies take a tip...
when asking your sweet husband, friend or child to run to the store to grab you Agave syrup....be sure and specify that you only really need ONE tablespoon to drizzle over your grapefruit.
James bought me two HUGE bottles. I will have them forever.
Literally, I will have them for the rest of my life.
In love and Agave.
Forever yours...
SUMMARY FOR DAY SIXTEEN:
Down 12 pounds!!!! Feel amazing! upped cardio to 60 mins! and reps to 40..took 2 1/2 hours!!! brutal. Worth it. I'm in the groove - really lovin' it!
Getting measured again on Friday for the end of section 2!(actual end of ten days is Saturday - but am measuring on Friday) I will post new numbers then.
So far Tracy has been right on the money about EVERY LAST THING she said in the book. That alone motivates me to keep it up. A promise kept is a rare thing these days! Thanks for keeping your word, Tracy! and please don't let me down on the skin thing....!!! please. I said please.
16 days down...
14 days to go...
all BY THE BOOK!
xoxoxLa
PS- Hang in there everyone!!! YOU CAN DO IT! And tonight was Brussel Sprouts night.... no chance of dying from an overdose on those suckers, huh?...geez.
PSS- - I have 99 followers!!!!! one more and I break 100!!! Can you believe that???? I feel like the 100th follower should win something.... maybe one of those panty hose dolls!!! "Mr Grumpy Cellulite Farmer" collectible doll !!!! hmmmmm..... ;)
Are you man enough to talk about some really girly things??? Here we go...
I thought I might start the blog off today with a joke!!! One of my all time favorites for a woman to tell a man...
A woman is walking down the street, she sees a homeless woman and walks over to give her $20.
The homeless woman is so thankful and reaches for the money.
But the woman pulls it back and says" Wait, are you going to go spend this on getting your nails done?"
The homeless woman says - " Of course not, I can't afford those kinds of things".
The woman starts to give the money again, but pulls it back saying "Are you going to use this money on coloring your hair???" Are you going to use this money to buy a good bottle of wine?"
The homeless woman says " Of course not, I simply want to have a hot meal, I am trying to survive on the streets and I cannot have my hair colored or buy nice wine."
The woman says "Fair enough, I would like you to join me and my husband for dinner tonight, our treat, and I will gladly give you the $20 dollars".
The homeless woman says - "That is so kind of you, but I am afraid I am not going to be presentable for a dinner out, I might embarrass you."
The woman looks at the homeless woman and says ..."No, I want you to come EXACTLY like you are...
because I want my husband to see what happens when a woman stops spending money on her nails, hair and great wine!!!!!"
(insert rim shot)
love that one!! :)
so - moving on ....
DAY SIXTEEN!!!!
Today I got off to a slow start - not sure why - probably because I went to bed later than normal and really pitched a fit when the alarm went off at 6:00am.
With much groaning , I climbed out of bed and stumbled in the direction of the bathroom so I could start my day off with the usual hat trick of activities : brush teeth, pee, weigh. In that order.
The first two are always welcomed for obvious reasons - since all we drink on this diet is water - well, the bladder is always full. And I have NO idea what goes on in all our mouths overnight but seriously... what is morning breath about? That's no way to start off the day. gross.
(Side note: I don't do smells, smelly things or unpleasant odors of any kind. I also have an irrational fear of having bad breath and not knowing it. It only marginally out ranks my fear of visible panty lines and shark attack)
Back to the morning hat trick...
Then the scale....
drum roll please....
IN THE 120'S!!!!! barely... (129) but I'll take it!!! I was so excited!!!
I'm so full of it when I say I don't care what the scale says - I TOTALLY care what the scale says!!! and today it said 129. Whoop there it is!
I guess I wouldn't care what it said if you could bounce a quarter off my ass and do laundry on my abs - then I wouldn't care at all...." I weigh 198, but I wear a size two and look like Tracy Anderson" - that would be fine... but for now - I would by lying if I said it wasn't kind of exciting to see anything in the 120's - all new territory for me... and I am diggin it!
"So - are there any down sides to this new found weight loss?"
Why, yes, so funny you would ask. I did meet one of the downsides today.
I met him today (yes, him) right about the time I was doing the fourth leg exercise. You know the one where you are on your hands and knees moving your leg back and forth on either side of the chair.
"How did this chance encounter happen, between you and this strange man in your house at 7:30 am while you were on your hands and knees?"
Again - great question! Well, you see... I was feeling sooooooo lean and skinny and fabulous this morning that when I went to workout I wore a exercise top that was more like a sports bra.
( I know- I'm a little ahead of myself, because I am NOT ready to wear anything cropped, but I guess I thought - no one is home, it's just me, dare to dream...) and as I am on my hands and knees, I look down and almost scream!!!! MY STOMACH SKIN is hanging down in what I can only describe as looking like a "grumpy old man"!!!!
It was so horrible that I started laughing!!!
Then I couldn't stop laughing - OR stop staring at it!
Seriously... Oh. Ma. Gawd!!! Then I sat back and looked at it in the mirror and sort of bent forward in different ways and made the stomach skin turn into grumpy old man faces - I stopped at about seven different faces. THIS IS NOT GOOD.
I guess before my stomach skin just filled with extra gut ... and I knew better than to look down at it.
I knew to avoid looking at instinctively - you know, the way you know not to look directly into a solar eclipse. It could blind a girl. Or at least make her want to poke her eyes out.
So I finally stopped laughing at the grumpy old man face my stomach skin was making and then became fascinated with just how horrible it really was to look at!!!
It's kind of like one of those creepy panty hose dolls made to look like an old person. Or when they carve an old person's face out of an apple. An apple person...that is what my stomach skin looked like.
I remember Tracy saying the skin is the last thing to draw back to the body - which is a good thing - because if she had said it was the first thing to get better...and I got an eyeful of that nasty - I would have walked out of my house and driven directly to the first Plastic Surgeon's office I could find and demanded a consult!!!
Patience, grasshopper.
Confucius (Tracy) say : saggy skin will join body once ass not fat.
I really hope so. It was like SAW IV scary. or Blair Witch scary. or Spencer and Heidi scary. yikes.
(and I'm sure Spencer and Heidi are lovely people..but they do scare me a little. sorry.)
After I composed myself, it suddenly occurred to me it was rude of me to be laughing at my new found "guest" and I should introduce myself to that scary little upset old man - find out a little more about him.
What does he do? Where did he come from? WHEN DOES HE PLAN ON LEAVING??? -
When I got my answers - it all made sense.
The grumpy little man has been living under my layers of abdominal fat for years and he is - of all things - a farmer!
What does he farm??? You guessed... CELLULITE!!! He's a mother scratchin' cellulite farmer.
F-er!!! That did it!!!! You are squatting on my land - no one invited you and I want you off my property right this instance!!!!!
And as if it couldn't get worse... he has family! Which is why he is so grumpy and consequently why his face is all crinkled up and hanging off... he has a fat daughter, But... according to him - no one has seen her on almost two weeks!! (oopsie... I MIGHT know a little something in regards to her whereabouts ...RIP fat daughter of grumpy cellulite farmer) and lastly... he has a grandson...last seen on the playground hoarding toys.
So, listen up fat family...get your YUCK outta my YUM!!!!
I will not stand for it another minute.
ok- maybe a few more minutes because it may take a little longer to put in enough work to "evict " them. But I WILL...oh, I will indeed.
The grumpy cellulite farmer and his whole family can suck it!
There's a new sheriff in town- and her name is Tracy Anderson. She and her deputy Laura are gonna run you folks out of town. You can go quietly ...or we can do this the hard way.
Wait - I think we are doing this the hard way...???? whatever... Just please leave. I said please.
Speaking of grumpy men at the house... my husband is getting home!!! yeah!!! (I'm kidding - he's a happy soul!)
He has been gone for a week- hunting in Colorado... which I would have told you all about earlier but my mother (hi mom!) was paranoid that someone would come "get me" if I posted on the web that I was at the house alone.
I assured her I had Stevie Wonder (the dog) and a rather odd amount of guns to keep me safe and no one would come and get me. Plus, now I've got the grumpy old man to watch after me...if there was an intruder, I'm sure he would signal me with his phlegmy old man cough. ewwwww.
As I mentioned, my husband is a hunter. I, personally, do not get it and would never want to shoot an animal, but I respect that he loves to be outdoors, one with nature, amongst the animals, dressed like a shrub, lying in wait ... armed. Well, like I said, I don't get it... but he doesn't get why I shriek with pure joy when I hear the words "60% off"... so we have agreed to just be happy that the other is happy and understand that we are different. Kind of like that book says - what was it called??
Men are from Mars, Woman are from Neimans.
...something like that.
Every year during hunting season I find that since I do not have ten boobs, it is hard to get him interested in MY rack...he's a little too busy sizing up the rack on a deer...or elk... oh well...I'll focus on the racks at Barneys. Turn around is fair play.
But I will welcome my little hunter home with open arms (open, increasingly toned arms)-and thank him from the bottom of my heart for how supportive he has been during my journey! He has encouraged me, run to the store to get me groceries at the last minute and endured the early am loud music and all my bitching and moaning.
He even reads my blog and laughs with me!
He lovingly cheers me on and I am forever grateful for his support in this (and all things) and will be so happy to see his little beanie head come through that door!!!
Thanks, James! I love you!
also - ladies take a tip...
when asking your sweet husband, friend or child to run to the store to grab you Agave syrup....be sure and specify that you only really need ONE tablespoon to drizzle over your grapefruit.
James bought me two HUGE bottles. I will have them forever.
Literally, I will have them for the rest of my life.
In love and Agave.
Forever yours...
SUMMARY FOR DAY SIXTEEN:
Down 12 pounds!!!! Feel amazing! upped cardio to 60 mins! and reps to 40..took 2 1/2 hours!!! brutal. Worth it. I'm in the groove - really lovin' it!
Getting measured again on Friday for the end of section 2!(actual end of ten days is Saturday - but am measuring on Friday) I will post new numbers then.
So far Tracy has been right on the money about EVERY LAST THING she said in the book. That alone motivates me to keep it up. A promise kept is a rare thing these days! Thanks for keeping your word, Tracy! and please don't let me down on the skin thing....!!! please. I said please.
16 days down...
14 days to go...
all BY THE BOOK!
xoxoxLa
PS- Hang in there everyone!!! YOU CAN DO IT! And tonight was Brussel Sprouts night.... no chance of dying from an overdose on those suckers, huh?...geez.
PSS- - I have 99 followers!!!!! one more and I break 100!!! Can you believe that???? I feel like the 100th follower should win something.... maybe one of those panty hose dolls!!! "Mr Grumpy Cellulite Farmer" collectible doll !!!! hmmmmm..... ;)
Monday, October 18, 2010
DAY FIFTEEN...
Ok... I have to tell you all how lovely your comments are that you all take the time to leave me!!!
Seriously, they bring tears to my eyes! So, thank you very much!!!! I am so thrilled that you care to read my silly little blog!
I laughed out loud today when one lovely reader called me a "toned little buddha"!!!! hysterical!
So, today is day fifteen - HALF WAY THERE!!!
Today's workout was like yesterdays... I felt strong, fit and capable!!! I kept my reps at 35 for the third day and will go to 40 tomorrow and once again chased it with 50 minutes of cardio!
I stayed at 130 - and am thrilled with that weight... for now!
A day doesn't go by that I do not hear from someone who has started the thirty day program - including several of my closest friends!! So I wanted to issue a major shout out to those that are just getting started and say that the first week was WAY rough...but it will get better! Hang in there - PLAN THE WORK...and WORK THE PLAN!
Now... one of my friends that started the plan seven days ago is sitting right next to me and I had a GREAT idea... I'm inviting her to write a few words as a GUEST BLOGGER!!!! (I'll introduce her in a minute!)
We are together at a friends house watching Monday Night Football (Go Titans!!!!) and other than
wanting to run and tackle someone and take their pizza and then run from them while shoving it in my mouth - it's lots of fun!
And no... I did not eat any pizza! and ya know what.. it wasn't that big of a deal. I try to watch the way I talk to myself (you know...keep the dial on KCAN!) and make sure I do not say things like "I can't have any pizza." Because I certainly could - it is a choice. I have a choice. I made a choice.
MY choice was not to have any pizza.
MY choice was to stay true to the plan. I find that everytime I remind myself it is a choice...it gets a lot easier!
Telling yourself you "can't have something" takes all the control away from you and undermines what you are doing for yourself!!! YOU ARE IN CONTROL, you are making CHOICES...and they are great ones!!! The are Thass-Tastic!!!
I had four lovely , talented young girls from Sweden at my home a few years ago and they said something that has stayed with me for years... When they were done eating, and asked if they would like another serving they would politely reply "No thank you. I'm satisfied."'
"I'm satisfied." what a wonderful way to express that you are done eating. Instead of "I'm stuffed.""I couldn't eat another bite" or the dreaded.."I shouldn't, I'm on a diet"... give "I'm satisfied " a try...
You might just find that you are, in fact...satisfied.
OK... Ladies... welcome my guest blogger... who is currently rocking out DAY SEVEN and kicking boo-tay! Take it away....
-------------------------------------------
Guest Blogger writes....
Ok, well, I probably picked the worst time ever in my life to start a 30-day program. I could not be in a more emotionally brutal state of mind/heart ... my two kids just left home for college so I'm empty-nesting it and MISSING THEM LIKE CRAZY! Not to mention, I just got blindsided by a bad boy -- meaning I walked in on my boyfriend/partner/business partner of two years with his new petite, BUXOM and I mean BUXOM Texas blonde girlfriend. This was two days after I moved in with him. OK, enough about that. I started the TAM because I felt I needed to focus on something positive, something that was all about ME! So here I am. Inspired by my dear friend Laura. I bought the book. Read every single word. Popped in the DVD and voila!
Because I know I am not exactly myself these days I decided that I would make the commitment BUT I would also allow myself a little leeway. Meaning, I'm having a glass of red wine tonight. Still ate my yellow carrots and grilled salmon but DID have the wine. This weekend I did the annual Susan Komen Cancer Walk with my family in Little Rock and while I skipped the post-walk donuts and late night ice cream, I did have the green beans at the Thai restuarant, which means I got a little sauce with sodium in there -- I could immediately tell a difference the next morning. My fingers were a bit swollen and I was very thirsty. I am exercising every day ... but yesterday I did only the floor work and not the cardio. I also am in a unique living arrangement now (meaning I'm not in my own house with my own kitchen) so instead of cooking all of the meals exactly by the recipes, I get the ingredients and eat the components in some cases. For example, I'll eat the broccoli raw instead of doing the steamed broccoli recipe, etc. Three days before I started the program I weighed 130. On day 5 I weighed 120. This morning I weighed 123. So I'm saying I lost 7 pounds in week 1. Not bad. I didn't really do this to lose weight though as much as to TONE. I want to be strong and have a harder body. I also needed to get clean with my food again -- and Tracy's plan is spot on for that!
Now ... if you haven't started yet, the exercises ARE HARD TO LEARN AT FIRST but do NOT BE INTIMIDATED. And the cardio is ridiculous! I much prefer doing ten minutes NOT 40 but we can do it right?! -- work up to it if you have to, that's what I've been doing! For me, right now, it's more than exercise, it's a meditation ... a focus on me, a time to reflect as I let go of this ridiculous heartbreak!
Once I have my tight new body maybe I'll go get me some new boobs (mine ARE droopy and while I never thought I would ever go under the knife except for a live or death situation, I'm rethinking my position at this point) and then when ol' whatshisname resurfaces (because they always do don't they?!), I WON'T be taking the call!!! HeHe!
Thanks Laura for inspiring me every single day and for being one of the funniest women ever! I love you! And I have a growing appreciation -- not to the love stage yet -- for KALE!!! GB (guest blogger) :)
--------------------------------------
Thanks guest blogger!!!
Sorry for your rough time as of late... but you are an amazing woman and he is a tool.
Although I love men...I find myself wishing that this particular one wakes up tomorrow with a thousand camel fleas nesting in his pubic hairs. Just sayin'.
Looks like we've got all kinds of reasons to get fit!
Speaking of.. if you are doing something wonderful for yourself - even is if was inspired by a no good douche bag of a guy...GOOD FOR YOU! Keep it up!
Revenge is a dish best served cold... or in this case HOT! You are HOT!!!
Titans WON and I'm half way done!!!!
15 day down....
15 to go...
all BY THE BOOK!!!!
xoxoxLa
Seriously, they bring tears to my eyes! So, thank you very much!!!! I am so thrilled that you care to read my silly little blog!
I laughed out loud today when one lovely reader called me a "toned little buddha"!!!! hysterical!
So, today is day fifteen - HALF WAY THERE!!!
Today's workout was like yesterdays... I felt strong, fit and capable!!! I kept my reps at 35 for the third day and will go to 40 tomorrow and once again chased it with 50 minutes of cardio!
I stayed at 130 - and am thrilled with that weight... for now!
A day doesn't go by that I do not hear from someone who has started the thirty day program - including several of my closest friends!! So I wanted to issue a major shout out to those that are just getting started and say that the first week was WAY rough...but it will get better! Hang in there - PLAN THE WORK...and WORK THE PLAN!
Now... one of my friends that started the plan seven days ago is sitting right next to me and I had a GREAT idea... I'm inviting her to write a few words as a GUEST BLOGGER!!!! (I'll introduce her in a minute!)
We are together at a friends house watching Monday Night Football (Go Titans!!!!) and other than
wanting to run and tackle someone and take their pizza and then run from them while shoving it in my mouth - it's lots of fun!
And no... I did not eat any pizza! and ya know what.. it wasn't that big of a deal. I try to watch the way I talk to myself (you know...keep the dial on KCAN!) and make sure I do not say things like "I can't have any pizza." Because I certainly could - it is a choice. I have a choice. I made a choice.
MY choice was not to have any pizza.
MY choice was to stay true to the plan. I find that everytime I remind myself it is a choice...it gets a lot easier!
Telling yourself you "can't have something" takes all the control away from you and undermines what you are doing for yourself!!! YOU ARE IN CONTROL, you are making CHOICES...and they are great ones!!! The are Thass-Tastic!!!
I had four lovely , talented young girls from Sweden at my home a few years ago and they said something that has stayed with me for years... When they were done eating, and asked if they would like another serving they would politely reply "No thank you. I'm satisfied."'
"I'm satisfied." what a wonderful way to express that you are done eating. Instead of "I'm stuffed.""I couldn't eat another bite" or the dreaded.."I shouldn't, I'm on a diet"... give "I'm satisfied " a try...
You might just find that you are, in fact...satisfied.
OK... Ladies... welcome my guest blogger... who is currently rocking out DAY SEVEN and kicking boo-tay! Take it away....
-------------------------------------------
Guest Blogger writes....
Ok, well, I probably picked the worst time ever in my life to start a 30-day program. I could not be in a more emotionally brutal state of mind/heart ... my two kids just left home for college so I'm empty-nesting it and MISSING THEM LIKE CRAZY! Not to mention, I just got blindsided by a bad boy -- meaning I walked in on my boyfriend/partner/business partner of two years with his new petite, BUXOM and I mean BUXOM Texas blonde girlfriend. This was two days after I moved in with him. OK, enough about that. I started the TAM because I felt I needed to focus on something positive, something that was all about ME! So here I am. Inspired by my dear friend Laura. I bought the book. Read every single word. Popped in the DVD and voila!
Because I know I am not exactly myself these days I decided that I would make the commitment BUT I would also allow myself a little leeway. Meaning, I'm having a glass of red wine tonight. Still ate my yellow carrots and grilled salmon but DID have the wine. This weekend I did the annual Susan Komen Cancer Walk with my family in Little Rock and while I skipped the post-walk donuts and late night ice cream, I did have the green beans at the Thai restuarant, which means I got a little sauce with sodium in there -- I could immediately tell a difference the next morning. My fingers were a bit swollen and I was very thirsty. I am exercising every day ... but yesterday I did only the floor work and not the cardio. I also am in a unique living arrangement now (meaning I'm not in my own house with my own kitchen) so instead of cooking all of the meals exactly by the recipes, I get the ingredients and eat the components in some cases. For example, I'll eat the broccoli raw instead of doing the steamed broccoli recipe, etc. Three days before I started the program I weighed 130. On day 5 I weighed 120. This morning I weighed 123. So I'm saying I lost 7 pounds in week 1. Not bad. I didn't really do this to lose weight though as much as to TONE. I want to be strong and have a harder body. I also needed to get clean with my food again -- and Tracy's plan is spot on for that!
Now ... if you haven't started yet, the exercises ARE HARD TO LEARN AT FIRST but do NOT BE INTIMIDATED. And the cardio is ridiculous! I much prefer doing ten minutes NOT 40 but we can do it right?! -- work up to it if you have to, that's what I've been doing! For me, right now, it's more than exercise, it's a meditation ... a focus on me, a time to reflect as I let go of this ridiculous heartbreak!
Once I have my tight new body maybe I'll go get me some new boobs (mine ARE droopy and while I never thought I would ever go under the knife except for a live or death situation, I'm rethinking my position at this point) and then when ol' whatshisname resurfaces (because they always do don't they?!), I WON'T be taking the call!!! HeHe!
Thanks Laura for inspiring me every single day and for being one of the funniest women ever! I love you! And I have a growing appreciation -- not to the love stage yet -- for KALE!!! GB (guest blogger) :)
--------------------------------------
Thanks guest blogger!!!
Sorry for your rough time as of late... but you are an amazing woman and he is a tool.
Although I love men...I find myself wishing that this particular one wakes up tomorrow with a thousand camel fleas nesting in his pubic hairs. Just sayin'.
Looks like we've got all kinds of reasons to get fit!
Speaking of.. if you are doing something wonderful for yourself - even is if was inspired by a no good douche bag of a guy...GOOD FOR YOU! Keep it up!
Revenge is a dish best served cold... or in this case HOT! You are HOT!!!
Titans WON and I'm half way done!!!!
15 day down....
15 to go...
all BY THE BOOK!!!!
xoxoxLa
Sunday, October 17, 2010
guess who waits patiently for me at the bottom of the stairs everyday?????
and thanks to Trina- for taking him on hikes during the thirty day hiatus! xoxoxLa
DAY FOURTEEN...
Good evening everyone...
I'm about to hit the hay after another great TAM day but wanted to check in with you all and give you the skinny on my day!
It was basically an uneventful Sunday - in regards to my thirty day journey...
I got to sleep in until 7:00, have a nice, quiet morning and then...same ole, same ole - head upstairs to get the party started and sweat it out with Tracy. Todays workout was like yesterday's - I felt strong and it felt like something I could do - although it was tough! I could do it. Praise Jesus!
One thing I noticed today that kind of made me laugh- and then went on to strike me as somewhat profound was that Tracy, our little mighty mouse of a leader, our personal tiny dancer, DOES NOT SMILE ONE TIME in the entire DVD!
My initial reaction was to think.."My God, I'm killin myself here - would it kill ya to smile at me one time? Maybe a flash of a thumbs up? how about an encouraging word or two?..." but then my immediate next wave of thought was to complete the sentence with "...like they do in every other workout video."
And then I got it.
Tracy Anderson isn't about to smile at any of us because you know what??? - IT ISN'T FUN!! and
It isn't MEANT to be fun!
It is meant to be hard work for serious people who want to see serious change in their bodies.
All of the sudden I LOVED that she wasn't smiling! I loved that she takes this program dead ass serious! I loved that she expects us to take it seriously!
I AM taking it seriously, and you know what - if she were bee-bopping around my screen with a wireless headset asking me "Are you having fun??! NO pain No Gain! Keep smiling!" I would probably want to roll her up in my yoga mat and drop her in the river.
I LOVE that she is so damn serious...
I can almost hear her saying (in a very dead pan voice) something to the effect of "Did I say this DVD featured Chris Rock? Did I promise you a bunch of laughs? If you're looking for a good time -why don't you try Disney Land . If you're looking for a killer set of abs - then you've come to the right place. Now shut your pie hole, chatty Cathy - and get back to work."
...and I did.
...and I only smiled at the thought for a second or two...then I couldn't anymore due to searing pain.
Now- TODAY WAS A BIG DAY FOR ME ON THE SCALE.
But before I give you updates on weight loss, etc - I want to tell you all a little more about my body - in case like me - you are constantly comparing yourself to other people (which is ridiculously unhealthy - but what can ya do?) and want to know how I am compared to say...you. :)
I am 5'6" tall.
And... as I have mentioned before I am a curvy girl.
I am curvy on bottom thanks to my Mom and Dad.
I am curvy on the top thanks to Dr. Fritz Barton.
What can I say? - I'm honest to a fault- and as long as we are being honest about , ummm, "alterations"- you should also know that I'm not really blonde (I am naturally a DARK brunette) and I think Botox is the greatest thing in the entire universe. No, really - it kind of kicks sliced bread's ass.
My long standing motto is : "Nothing makes a girl look better than a face full of poison!"... just sayin'.
I also think it's worth mentioning that Botox is very good for my marriage. When my husband asks me a question that doesn't sit well with me, Botox physically prohibits me from making the face that says "That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard come out of a humans mouth and I want to kill you dead. ...in little pieces. WT..????"
Since my face cannot recoil I have time to recover and lovingly answer "Well, what an interesting perspective dear. I love you."
So, back to the bod...
My arms are better that my legs...always have been. And they seem to be shaping up rather nicely with this program!.. and then there's the Thass (deep sigh) - it's making changes, but they are slow.
I don't really ever remember a time that I thought I had a particularly nice backside. I am hoping that one day after I have followed Tracy's plan, I will look over my shoulder and catch a glimpse in the mirror and think.."hmmm, nice ass ya got there, sister". Dare to dream.
Which brings me back to my weight update...
Today I lost another pound and weighed in at 130!!!
This is significant for several reasons...
1. It means I officailly won a bet with a friend...PAY UP, SUCKER!
2. It is the elusive weight that floated around in my head for years representing the weight that would make "everything perfect"..."if only I weighed 130"...you can only imagine my surprise when I first reached that goal for the first time and everything was not perfect. Oh well, live and learn.
3. Weighing in at 130, with two weeks left to go, means there is a good possibility that I will register numbers in the 120's. Maybe at least in by a pound or two.
Why is this significant?
Because I have only weighed in the 120's two times in MY ENTIRE LIFE.
Once, when I was born.
I weighed 128 at birth - sorry mom, I probably owe you a new Uterus.
And the second time was about 7 years ago when I had the incredibly stupid concept of repeating the Cabbage Soup Diet over and over and over. I weighed 125 for about 10 minutes.
But don't kid yourself to think I had the slightest bit of muscle tone. I was basically starving myself like an idiot and ruining my metabolism. At one point I was so hungry that my belly was sticking out due to distention and there were flies buzzing around my eyes. They asked me to be on a Feed The Children commercial. Thought I'd be a ringer to bring in more money.
I am fairly confident that I went from 125 back to the 130's by merely driving past a Burger King. I didn't actually eat there - but I did smell it.
Well, there you have it.
It could get exciting around here folks!!! A fit and healthy venture into the 120's could cause me to post some very enthusiastic blogs!!!
Although I am not doing this for weight specific reasons -I'm not gonna lie to ya - it is still fun to see the scale slide on down a little at a time!!
And, I am happy to report that I am also not doing this as a "crash diet" - because truth is, I finally stopped battling my weight years ago when I finally stopped dieting! That doesn't mean that I don't make efforts to make healthy choices more times than not - because I do, and it certainly doesn't mean I am not concerned with my weight, because I am.
It just means that I'm equally concerned with being healthy, fit and strong, as I am with getting this ASS back where it belongs!!!!
I gave up on waiting for my late in life growth spurt somewhere around 32. Figured the two inches that was coming all in my legs...wasn't coming. So, I am not seeking perfection...just an answer to this:
"Just how much change could I make if I applied myself for thirty days - completely - and then continued to work out and eat right?...Just how close to the brain movie body could we really get, people???? I guess we will have to wait and see!
If I ever looked ANYTHING like Tracy Anderson I would wear nothing but a thong and heels everywhere I went. Oh, wait - that would be indecent, I'm sorry - I would also wear a cut off cropped t-shirt that said "seriously, you think this is good? Wait til I turn around."
Soooooooo - I thought it important to explain my history so you could apply the appropriate amount of enthusiasm to any and all number I might post in the upcoming two weeks - for if I lose any more weight they will all be all time lows! and that will put me on an all time high!!!
On a final note - lots of people keep asking me "Why are you doing this? It's not like your even fat"
so my response to them is simple...
"Well, I clean my house cleaned every week too, but that doesn't mean I don't need to spring clean once a year.!!! Sometimes you gotta move the couch and wipe off the top of the fridge...maybe clean out the garage. I'm just spring cleaning - getting everything back where it belongs" - that usually makes enough sense that they go away.
Or, if someone says "Why are you doing this - you don't NEED to do this" - you can always tell people what I tell my husband when he says I don't NEED to get Botox. I tell him "Sweetheart, the reason you don't think I need it...is cause I got it!"
well played. everytime.
good night Thass-Tastic friends and followers!
Thanks again for all your support!!!!
14 days down...
16 to go....
all BY THE BOOK!
xoxoxLa
I'm about to hit the hay after another great TAM day but wanted to check in with you all and give you the skinny on my day!
It was basically an uneventful Sunday - in regards to my thirty day journey...
I got to sleep in until 7:00, have a nice, quiet morning and then...same ole, same ole - head upstairs to get the party started and sweat it out with Tracy. Todays workout was like yesterday's - I felt strong and it felt like something I could do - although it was tough! I could do it. Praise Jesus!
One thing I noticed today that kind of made me laugh- and then went on to strike me as somewhat profound was that Tracy, our little mighty mouse of a leader, our personal tiny dancer, DOES NOT SMILE ONE TIME in the entire DVD!
My initial reaction was to think.."My God, I'm killin myself here - would it kill ya to smile at me one time? Maybe a flash of a thumbs up? how about an encouraging word or two?..." but then my immediate next wave of thought was to complete the sentence with "...like they do in every other workout video."
And then I got it.
Tracy Anderson isn't about to smile at any of us because you know what??? - IT ISN'T FUN!! and
It isn't MEANT to be fun!
It is meant to be hard work for serious people who want to see serious change in their bodies.
All of the sudden I LOVED that she wasn't smiling! I loved that she takes this program dead ass serious! I loved that she expects us to take it seriously!
I AM taking it seriously, and you know what - if she were bee-bopping around my screen with a wireless headset asking me "Are you having fun??! NO pain No Gain! Keep smiling!" I would probably want to roll her up in my yoga mat and drop her in the river.
I LOVE that she is so damn serious...
I can almost hear her saying (in a very dead pan voice) something to the effect of "Did I say this DVD featured Chris Rock? Did I promise you a bunch of laughs? If you're looking for a good time -why don't you try Disney Land . If you're looking for a killer set of abs - then you've come to the right place. Now shut your pie hole, chatty Cathy - and get back to work."
...and I did.
...and I only smiled at the thought for a second or two...then I couldn't anymore due to searing pain.
Now- TODAY WAS A BIG DAY FOR ME ON THE SCALE.
But before I give you updates on weight loss, etc - I want to tell you all a little more about my body - in case like me - you are constantly comparing yourself to other people (which is ridiculously unhealthy - but what can ya do?) and want to know how I am compared to say...you. :)
I am 5'6" tall.
And... as I have mentioned before I am a curvy girl.
I am curvy on bottom thanks to my Mom and Dad.
I am curvy on the top thanks to Dr. Fritz Barton.
What can I say? - I'm honest to a fault- and as long as we are being honest about , ummm, "alterations"- you should also know that I'm not really blonde (I am naturally a DARK brunette) and I think Botox is the greatest thing in the entire universe. No, really - it kind of kicks sliced bread's ass.
My long standing motto is : "Nothing makes a girl look better than a face full of poison!"... just sayin'.
I also think it's worth mentioning that Botox is very good for my marriage. When my husband asks me a question that doesn't sit well with me, Botox physically prohibits me from making the face that says "That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard come out of a humans mouth and I want to kill you dead. ...in little pieces. WT..????"
Since my face cannot recoil I have time to recover and lovingly answer "Well, what an interesting perspective dear. I love you."
So, back to the bod...
My arms are better that my legs...always have been. And they seem to be shaping up rather nicely with this program!.. and then there's the Thass (deep sigh) - it's making changes, but they are slow.
I don't really ever remember a time that I thought I had a particularly nice backside. I am hoping that one day after I have followed Tracy's plan, I will look over my shoulder and catch a glimpse in the mirror and think.."hmmm, nice ass ya got there, sister". Dare to dream.
Which brings me back to my weight update...
Today I lost another pound and weighed in at 130!!!
This is significant for several reasons...
1. It means I officailly won a bet with a friend...PAY UP, SUCKER!
2. It is the elusive weight that floated around in my head for years representing the weight that would make "everything perfect"..."if only I weighed 130"...you can only imagine my surprise when I first reached that goal for the first time and everything was not perfect. Oh well, live and learn.
3. Weighing in at 130, with two weeks left to go, means there is a good possibility that I will register numbers in the 120's. Maybe at least in by a pound or two.
Why is this significant?
Because I have only weighed in the 120's two times in MY ENTIRE LIFE.
Once, when I was born.
I weighed 128 at birth - sorry mom, I probably owe you a new Uterus.
And the second time was about 7 years ago when I had the incredibly stupid concept of repeating the Cabbage Soup Diet over and over and over. I weighed 125 for about 10 minutes.
But don't kid yourself to think I had the slightest bit of muscle tone. I was basically starving myself like an idiot and ruining my metabolism. At one point I was so hungry that my belly was sticking out due to distention and there were flies buzzing around my eyes. They asked me to be on a Feed The Children commercial. Thought I'd be a ringer to bring in more money.
I am fairly confident that I went from 125 back to the 130's by merely driving past a Burger King. I didn't actually eat there - but I did smell it.
Well, there you have it.
It could get exciting around here folks!!! A fit and healthy venture into the 120's could cause me to post some very enthusiastic blogs!!!
Although I am not doing this for weight specific reasons -I'm not gonna lie to ya - it is still fun to see the scale slide on down a little at a time!!
And, I am happy to report that I am also not doing this as a "crash diet" - because truth is, I finally stopped battling my weight years ago when I finally stopped dieting! That doesn't mean that I don't make efforts to make healthy choices more times than not - because I do, and it certainly doesn't mean I am not concerned with my weight, because I am.
It just means that I'm equally concerned with being healthy, fit and strong, as I am with getting this ASS back where it belongs!!!!
I gave up on waiting for my late in life growth spurt somewhere around 32. Figured the two inches that was coming all in my legs...wasn't coming. So, I am not seeking perfection...just an answer to this:
"Just how much change could I make if I applied myself for thirty days - completely - and then continued to work out and eat right?...Just how close to the brain movie body could we really get, people???? I guess we will have to wait and see!
If I ever looked ANYTHING like Tracy Anderson I would wear nothing but a thong and heels everywhere I went. Oh, wait - that would be indecent, I'm sorry - I would also wear a cut off cropped t-shirt that said "seriously, you think this is good? Wait til I turn around."
Soooooooo - I thought it important to explain my history so you could apply the appropriate amount of enthusiasm to any and all number I might post in the upcoming two weeks - for if I lose any more weight they will all be all time lows! and that will put me on an all time high!!!
On a final note - lots of people keep asking me "Why are you doing this? It's not like your even fat"
so my response to them is simple...
"Well, I clean my house cleaned every week too, but that doesn't mean I don't need to spring clean once a year.!!! Sometimes you gotta move the couch and wipe off the top of the fridge...maybe clean out the garage. I'm just spring cleaning - getting everything back where it belongs" - that usually makes enough sense that they go away.
Or, if someone says "Why are you doing this - you don't NEED to do this" - you can always tell people what I tell my husband when he says I don't NEED to get Botox. I tell him "Sweetheart, the reason you don't think I need it...is cause I got it!"
well played. everytime.
good night Thass-Tastic friends and followers!
Thanks again for all your support!!!!
14 days down...
16 to go....
all BY THE BOOK!
xoxoxLa
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