I totally crashed over the weekend!!!!!!
I am choosing to blame it COMPLETELY on the rapture. I mean, let's face it - they were predicting the end of the world on Saturday...
So I figured, what difference would it REALLY make if I skipped ONE workout and ate a chocolate chip cookie...ya know...for the good times.
Well, the world didn't end after all (whew)... until Monday morning when I stepped on the scale!!!
Please, Lord... was that some kind of joke...? First the "fake end of the world thing" and then having me gain four pounds in two days from simply not completing my workout...
I mean..COME ON...
Here's how the weekend unraveled for me...
Friday morning- UP AND AT EM'! Going to knock out my workout and then be all showered and ready for our daughter Ariel's visit for the weekend! Coming with her, of course - is her wonderful husband Greg and our gorgeous grand daughter Cecelia!!!!!
I threw on my workout clothes, heated up my room and then... immediately started doing all the last minute things you do before you have house guests...flower arrangements, groceries, various errands and picking up around the house. Now, don't get me wrong - I had PLENTY of time to get my workout in and THEN complete those tasks- but I didn't really want to do it in that order.
It was the beginning of the end....
I finally got around to my exercising - and completed the mat workout and I absolutely and utter fell pray to the fat girl in me and ditched my cardio!!!!
Mainly because I successfully postponed it long enough that by the time they were arriving from the airport I "didn't have time to finish my cardio"...
I gotta tell ya... secretly - somewhere deep down in side - my fat girl had that planned the whole stinking morning.
She also had me buy cookie dough - ya know..."for the kids"... yah right... I baked those bitches up and ate more of them than any of the kids!!!!
I think my inner fat girl really believed the predictions of the end of the world.
Thank God she only sabotaged my boot camp plan and didn't hold the title to my car or she might have given all my things away and quit our job!
ahhhhh... Saturday. The day of Rapture...well, you can only imagine that listening to people talk about the world ending at 6:00 pm is arguably the GREATEST EXCUSE EVER USED to skip a workout!!!
I will give myself some props.. I did do my cardio on Saturday... rationalizing that I could count both days together and have officially only missed ONE day of working out...since I did cardio one day and mat work the other...
makes good sense, right????
Not sure what I'm going to tell you about why I did NOTHING on SUNDAY!!! - N to the O to the THING...NOTHING.
OMG- Maybe it is the end of the world...?
No.. like I said... the end of the world came this morning when I stepped on the scale and was FOUR pounds heavier...
I know, I know - it's all (or mostly) water weight and some good old fashioned bloat from the deviation from the diet... but it was a harsh little reality check that I was NOT going to be able to pull little stunts like that and get away with it.
Soooooo... I am getting it together to get back on track and finish strong!!!
I do truly feel that it is the key to long term success... not being "perfect" because sometimes we are all "by the book" and sometimes we crash and burn!!! But to let one or two days of slipping up wreck what could be 28 GREAT days... well, that's where we all get in trouble!
I have to forgive myself - not worry about it - and move on. The damage is done, the mistakes made.
I used to yo-yo diet all the time...
I would start every Monday of my life (so it seemed) with a renewed spirit and determination that it was the start of something special!!! I would tell myself I would be PERFECT... no cheating on my diet, no fat, no carbs, no sweets, no taste, no fun, no booze, no oxygen, no nothing! I would SWARE I would work out everyday and live on snow peas and lemon water...
then I would kick it's ass on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday ...maybe even about half a day on Thursday... until I ate something "wrong"... you know - that could be anything back in those days... we've all done it - one bite of cake at the office party...some chips...one piece of pizza..what ever...
and then the deadliest of all words run through your little mental ticker tape...
"Well, I've already blown it...so I might as well screw the whole thing for today and I'll start over tomorrow - tomorrow I'll be PERFECT AGAIN."
So then you proceed to eat like Ms. PacMan and gobble up food like those little dots on the screen!!!
The sad part is - as we are all shoving our faces with crap food - we are feeling guilty about it - NOT enjoying it and probably taking in more calories in the mentality of "get it while you can, because I 'll never get to eat this again as long as I live...since tomorrow I'm going to start all over again and be perfect forever" than you would normally eat in a week.
Then the next day comes and ...well, it's Friday now... I mean...who ever even heard of starting a diet on Friday? That's just weird... you know what... I'll start again on MONDAY!!!!!!
MONDAY!! ... GREAT THINKING - MONDAY IS THE PERFECT START DAY....
everyone knows that....
It gets you a sense of failure. It gets you low self esteem because you feel like you "failed" again.
It gets you a wrecked metabolism, and it gets you firmly placed in the shame spiral of answering the following question..."Who ate all the cookies?"
ahhhh...the shame of it all.
It could have been a little slip up - and ENJOYED and savored slip up - which is part of life - and then it would have been a much better weekly average - maybe 6 days great / one day not so great...or a 5/2 split... even a 4/3 is better than nothing!
So- my more adult, healthy mind says this... F@*K IT! Sometimes we slip up.
That is life.
One cookie does not a fat person make.
One cheeseburger does not a fat person make.
One missed workout does not a fat person make.
Sometimes life gets in the way of the best laid plans to be "perfect "...
but before you go and throw away all your hard work on a three days bender... just take a deep breath...take inventory of what you are doing... and if you cannot complete a workout - tell yourself it's ok...do what you can.
If you cannot pass up something temporarily forbidden on your diet plan...tell yourself a little is ok...then ENJOY IT!!! Don't feel guilty about it - just enjoy a little...
and know that it is not an open invitation to stuff your face for three days.
AND you do not need to wait to Monday to get yourself back on track!!!
"MONDAY" is an illusion... Monday is bull sh*t.
Honor yourself enough to treat each day as a fresh start - and know they are all are as important as any Monday - they all count! Good , bad or otherwise...
I am proud of the fact that I did not pile into any large amounts of food, I did partial workouts on both Friday and Saturday and I only back slid a little bit...
I totally blew off Sunday - but didn't eat poorly at all. I just couldn't seem to get myself motivated to do anything...but I ate well!
AND... I'm back on track today and feeling better about the fact that well...sometimes we aren't all perfect.
and guess what folks... the world doesn't come to an end over it after all!!!!!!
Hope I didn't let you guys down...
but I'm not going to beat myself up about it - for that is what the young, stupid girl I was a long time ago would have done...some of you might have known her - the one that didn't need botox yet...and btw, she was a lot heavier!!!!!
We're all getting better all the time!
We're all beautiful - even when we mess up a little.
I'm trying really hard - and I'll keep trying!!!!!
Wish me luck!
PS- I am hoping that scale shows a little mercy tomorrow morning! :)